🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Random Internet Person said:
I guess all there is left is to wait for someone like Toad McKinley, Down The Rabbit Hole, Dame Pesos, or The Right Opinion to make a documentary of the situation, if not of Ralph's entire online career.
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It's been a while since Porsalin last made a documentary. Hopefully Guntgate and all the events leading up to it will be a tempting subject matter for him to cover.

I can almost see it now - 'Harvesting Season: An Ethan Ralph Documentary'
 
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What was the highest Patreon count Ralph had reached in recent weeks? Something like 270? It's currently down to 249. Still quite high for a piece of shit felon that has just released revenge porn to universal disgust. I imagine the numbers will continue to dwindle, but the core group of braindead paypiggies will support his alcohol dependency no matter what.
 
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Null said:
1. No, I am not making a "gunt" post reaction. We already have too many.
2. No, I'm not opening a Ralph subforum. It's all downhill from here.
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Since I made a post about Point 2 and with the past 48 hrs occurring I'll happily say your right Null. This motherfucker has peaked although I have a feeling he'll continue to act like Dennis from IASIP.

 
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Facts Over Feels said:
Of course Ralph leaked it. Anyone thinking otherwise without ironclad proof in triplicate is an exceptional.
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Well, OBVIOUSLY it was the antifa ADL illuminati that hacked Ralph's account with a CGI deepfake.
I am so smrt.png


You need to open your mind dude. Can you prove that DIDN'T happen??? H8RS OWNED!!1!
 
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Mr. Manchester said:
I feel like when I post something like, "glad you're home, now you can have another without people fucking with you" the obvious message about how you should stop drinking is fully stated. But I'll say it for the sake of morality. Ralph... stop.

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One thing I've always hated is when grown-ass adults talk about "haters" or "bullies." It's so goddamn juvenile. (I know who we're talking about here, but still.)
4str4staleatherbelt said:
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Apropos, because Ralph lost his wife too. HEYOOOOO
The Real SVP said:
From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ascites :
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I don't think Ralph has quite hit the ascites stage yet. Older alcoholics with it have a big distended belly, but it's really hard. Think about when you pick up a ripe melon & shake it. The outside is still hard but you can hear slight sloshing on the inside. It's like that.
So if he had ascites, we'd know, because the gunt would not look like :gunt:
gran_autismo said:
They met when she was a kid and she outgrew them. It was fun being with an internet outlaw when she was a teenager, but she's studying to be a researcher and she wants a normal life. From the lore here it's said that Ralph will never be allowed in the UK due to his violent felon past, and she had no interest in living here.

And he whored around a lot and treated her like shit. A recent ex said that he suicide baited Nora whenever she tried to leave, makes sense as his substance abuse problems have just continued to get worse over time. After she left he just kind of went off the chain and that's pretty much how things got to where they are today.
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I find it really amusing that Ralph loves Bojack Horseman so much but none of its very overt messages have sunken in. There's a character who continuously courts & marries young women & can't figure out why they always leave him until his third ex-wife explicitly states that every one of his (often decades younger) partners has outgrown him.
The titular character also goes to rehab & sobers up after years of alcoholism & substance abuse ruined his life.
Come on, Ralph.
Null said:
After this week, I'm done with Ralph.
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In terms of this thread, in general, or until he fucks up again?*

*I don't see how he can fuck up any harder than he has this past week, but who knows? Never underestimate human potential.

Sam Losco said:
And Chris is back and being an emo soyboy.
https://archive.vn/qjeBe
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Destined to be a loser his whole life at this rate.
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Christ, what a drama queen. This is a Chris-Chan-tier emo poem.

LordOdin said:
How can he be this much of a faggot @Ahalfwaycrook are you retarded?
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Yes. Meth, not even once.

2020Suicide said:
300+ pages in 60hours is that a record in lolcow?
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No. That honor belongs to Marijan Siklic, a meth-addicted MGTOW who hated his mom & therapist because they both refused to fuck him & help him lose his hated virginity, whose thread grew several thousand pages because he was so hopped up on drugs that he posted for three consecutive days.

That was before a lot of Ralph's threadgoers' times.
 
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Here is my predictions moving forward.

-The Vickers Family will disappear into obscurity putting this nightmare experience in their past.
-Ralph will carry on like nothing happened albeit with a percentage of his followers leaving because of this drama.
-PPP will try to stay relevant with the Kinodrome show but it will be a flop and will disband the idea and slink away from the internet spotlight.
 
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I don't know how many of you are into sports, but I think the parallels that can taken from the Gunt's favorite teams are interesting.

A few months ago, the Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl for the first in ages, and Ethan was over the moon. Mostly everything seemed to be ok, even with his alcoholism being a problem.

Now, the Memphis Grizzlies are shitting themselves out of a playoff spot in the NBA's reset, and this bountiful harvest of debauchery has come to light. ER is coping so hard, as are his capos.

Unlike ER, however, they both have hope for the future, thanks in large part to their stars (Mahomes and Morant, respectively). Chances are, even with how good the Chiefs are, Mr. Retort won't live to see them win another Bowl.

Edit: I just recalled that his NBA team is the Lakers, but that's just him being delusional at this point. His "achievements" are nothing compared to their fame, titles, and allure. I still think that the Grizzlies comparison is better, considering his constant reminder of him being Memphis raised and shit.
 
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