DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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SojiroSakura said:
"*sigh* Hullo ladies and gentlemen... today's a special day because I'm finally gonna admit it. I'm gay. Duhuhuh. BUT IT WASN'T MY DOING. As you all know my aunt who gave me gout? TURNS OUT. She also made me gay! And to celebrate, we're retiring the vest streak and now beginning the gay streak. 200$ per stream this time! Okayyy?? *throat clear* *SNORT*
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Honestly that's the best way he can handle the whole WWE Champions debacle. And the biggest twist of all would be Kat getting cucked instead of him.
"Yes, I DO enjoy jpegs of Hulk Hogan and those FUCKING homophobic detractor assholes keep trying to ruin it for me! And by the way, Tevin agrees with me."
 
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Zappin’ And Spazzin’ said:
Honestly that's the best way he can handle the whole WWE Champions debacle. And the biggest twist of all would be Kat getting cucked instead of him.
"Yes, I DO enjoy jpegs of Hulk Hogan and those FUCKING homophobic detractor assholes keep trying to ruin it for me! And by the way, Tevin agrees with me."
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*John Rambo.
 
Can this fucker pass his gout down to his children? I don't know how gout works. Can he even get a hard-on with his poor health and gamer gunt? Can you get gout in your dick?
 
YourUnclesDad said:
Can this fucker pass his gout down to his children? I don't know how gout works. Can he even get a hard-on with his poor health and gamer gunt? Can you get gout in your dick?
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Gout can be genetic, but we all know Phil ain't ever having kids. With poor enough health, then it's possible to get erectile dysfunction, which seems likely in Phil's case, i.e. lack of exercise, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes. And yes, you can get gout in your dick, though that's rare. Here is a link to one such case, but warning, halfway down, there's a photo of the surgery on this 61 year old guy's gout penis: https://archive.vn/H7S9B
 
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Hadidecount1990 said:
Gout can be genetic, but we all know Phil ain't ever having kids. With poor enough health, then it's possible to get erectile dysfunction, which seems likely in Phil's case, i.e. lack of exercise, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes. And yes, you can get gout in your dick, though that's rare. Here is a link to one such case, but warning, halfway down, there's a photo of the surgery on this 61 year old guy's gout penis: https://archive.vn/H7S9B
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I dont think Phil has erectile dysfunction,I think that he just doesnt want sex because he has a horrible body and because of that doesnt like to be naked with a woman,also he is very out of shape so its not like he can perfom in other way than just laying down and as we have seen on the Phil body thread he has a 3 inch penne so that must be embarrassing. I dont think that he cant have sex is more like he doesnt want to because he would perform so poorly,which is my opinion is funnier.
 
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Proper Pangolin said:
find it funny that The King of Hate hates that he has the King's Disease.
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Reminds me of a recent live interaction.
Someone tipped him an X amount of money and used a term for king, like your Majesty or your Highness, can't really remember. And Phil in his usual confusion doesn't know what that means or to what it refers to, has to be a negative meme.
While wearing his King Of Retro shirt.
 
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Wurstbrot said:
Reminds me of a recent live interaction.
Someone tipped him an X amount of money and used a term for king, like your Majesty or your Highness, can't really remember. And Phil in his usual confusion doesn't know what that means or to what it refers to, has to be a negative meme.
While wearing his King Of Retro shirt.
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My lord
 
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Tatu Carreta said:
I dont think Phil has erectile dysfunction,I think that he just doesnt want sex because he has a horrible body and because of that doesnt like to be naked with a woman,also he is very out of shape so its not like he can perfom in other way than just laying down and as we have seen on the Phil body thread he has a 3 inch penne so that must be embarrassing. I dont think that he cant have sex is more like he doesnt want to because he would perform so poorly,which is my opinion is funnier.
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I cannot be convinced that he does not have ED. He's addled with a shitload of both psychological & physical causal factors. Many of which you cover in your post.

Microdick? I'm even more certain of that. Nothing else* can explain his incessant, unprovoked seething with rage & betafied assertions of dominance -*EXCEPT the fact that I'm also in the camp that he's tortured by his suppression of latent homosexual inclinations. If you've ever known someone who has battled that, he probably reminds you of those people.

And finally, even if none of any of these are true (they are), this is: that nigga can't fuck. He will never know how to fuck. That's a craft & even if he had the mental acuity to grapple with the concept, he still lacks the ability to commit to mastering it.

And forget about the A-game shit, like oral sex. Lol forget it. Doesn't matter what kind of genitals you put in front of him.

Despite his abject lack of self-awareness, he knows all of this shit about himself. And that's why he goes on 15-minute instaban & screaming tears over shit as innocuous someone just typing "lol" in FreedumbChat.

Leanna terrified him because she forgave these inadequacies & came after him all the time.. Until she gave up & got a yard of cock laid on her by aat least one real man. He was relieved when she made vapor trails. And his marriage works beautifully for him because I also promise you that chick avoids sexual contact with him at all costs, but he thinks spouting the phrase "muhwife" every chance he gets covers his need to project to his pond of turbovirgins that he's a gigachad megahetero Adonis of Fuck.

But it's still not true. He knows this. He loathes it. Thus his daily earthquaking temper tantrums.

And now please excuse me while I go puke up a lung from talking about this at length.
 
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gettingthatgrooveback said:
I swear to God, Snort Burnell has a treasure trove of amazing DSP clips. I saw this one on their latest video.
View attachment 1517996















During a virtue-signalling segment about gay people, DSP mentions his gay aunt. His chat immediately, like clockwork asks him if that's the same aunt that had gout. That in it of itself is hilarious. What an absurd question. DSP, being a prime lolcow, gives us exactly what we want by reassuring us nonchalantly that yes that was indeed the same aunt.

I seriously believe that the main reason why Phil's gout is such a prevalent detractor meme is because gout is a funny word.
As an affliction, it's pretty uninteresting. But the word itself is hilarious. It doesn't sound like something a medical professional would use. It's so dopey. The opposite of elegant. It matches Phil perfectly. Rolls of the tongue as well.

Rest in Peace, Gouty Lesbo Aunt. You belong in the Hall of Fame of Detractors. Not only did you give Phil gout, but you also ripped him off by not paying him the full amount of rent while you were staying in his khando. And then you stopped paying even that because you croaked.

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Phil is so okay and accepting of the gays, you guys, so accepting. Doesn't give a shit, doesn't have a problem with it. He accepts them so much that when he plays a game like The Last Of Us 2, he goes on a rant when the gays do the gay, cringes and moans and complains that it shouldn't be in his videogame. That's an agenda, and then it's bad. Two teenage girls can't be kissing in media, that's fucking gross.

He's such an accepting man, a true friend of the gays. As long as they don't do that faggot shit where he can see it, keep that shit behind closed doors, you homos. So accepting.
 
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Michel Ney said:
Phil is so okay and accepting of the gays, you guys, so accepting. Doesn't give a shit, doesn't have a problem with it. He accepts them so much that when he plays a game like The Last Of Us 2, he goes on a rant when the gays do the gay, cringes and moans and complains that it shouldn't be in his videogame. That's an agenda, and then it's bad. Two teenage girls can't be kissing in media, that's fucking gross.

He's such an accepting man, a true friend of the gays. As long as they don't do that faggot shit where he can see it, keep that shit behind closed doors, you homos. So accepting.
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I know people like this all too well, and most of them come from my extremely religious and conservative family members on my mother’s side (I live in a big Southern state). They do the “Hey. I’m all about live and let live! Doesn’t bother me!” thing in public, then at family get-togethers, their real feelings come out when it comes to minorities and lgbt people. I heard one of my uncles say out loud how he wished could just “kill them all” when there was a very flamboyant gay man on TV. Another one of my retired uncles (who took a job as a school bus driver for extra money) talk about how he demanded another bus route because there were too many “spics and niggers” on his current one. I don’t know if Phil would be as hateful as my relatives, but it’s so painfully obvious that he feels uncomfortable with those subjects. Now whether it’s because he just hates those kind of people, or he just hasn’t had any experience with them and doesn’t know how to react... that’s harder to pin down. He REALLY seems uncomfortable with coming across as emotional during games. Hell, any time there is dramatic music (usually some sort of choral piece) he ALWAYS has to make fun of it by doing the “Ahhhh-ooooo-AHHHHHHH-OOOOHHH—ahhhh” mocking shit. ALWAYS. He doesn’t wanna come across as being affected by that faggy shit. That just screams insecurity to me.
 
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KD6-3.7 said:
I know people like this all too well, and most of them come from my extremely religious and conservative family members on my mother’s side (I live in a big Southern state). They do the “Hey. I’m all about live and let live! Doesn’t bother me!” thing in public, then at family get-togethers, their real feelings come out when it comes to minorities and lgbt people. I heard one of my uncles say out loud how he wished could just “kill them all” when there was a very flamboyant gay man on TV. Another one of my retired uncles (who took a job as a school bus driver for extra money) talk about how he demanded another bus route because there were too many “spics and niggers” on his current one. I don’t know if Phil would be as hateful as my relatives, but it’s so painfully obvious that he feels uncomfortable with those subjects. Now whether it’s because he just hates those kind of people, or he just hasn’t had any experience with them and doesn’t know how to react... that’s harder to pin down. He REALLY seems uncomfortable with coming across as emotional during games. Hell, any time there is dramatic music (usually some sort of choral piece) he ALWAYS has to make fun of it by doing the “Ahhhh-ooooo-AHHHHHHH-OOOOHHH—ahhhh” mocking shit. ALWAYS. He doesn’t wanna come across as being affected by that faggy shit. That just screams insecurity to me.
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Phil is terrified of anything approaching what he might consider to be a threat to his masculinity. The only time he feels okay with showing vulnerability is to use it as a smokescreen to get people to give him money or to stop making fun of him.

He is either a massive closet case or has had multiple authority figures in his life tell him to stop acting like a little girl. Or both.
 
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I never considered ED before, I just looked at all the ways in which he is developmentally stunted and came to what I felt was the most logical conclusion: he's not into sex because that element of the onset of puberty simply never did anything to him. He's still a child in so many ways, why not that one, right?

He doesn't have a legit micropenis (unless that wasn't his dick he was playing with), it just appears small enough that it perhaps make him perpetually angry. Except I've seen how jovial he can be while being an ass (like the "Thanks for the money you dumb-fuck" moments), and given what we know about his FGC days, he didn't come off as being the guy with a small dick and a big attitude about it back then. Plus, who cares about having an inadequate tool you're not interested in using? I would not at all be surprised if The Incident was one of only a handful of times (no pun intended) that Phil has jerked off. Ever. This is the same guy who hasn't managed to keep his rocking and t-posing for no one completely out of the limelight, is it really that likely that he learned to know when the camera is on so he doesn't grope his little potato in front of everybody again? No, much more believable that there just isn't any such activity to accidentally display.

As for Phil's reaction to stuff like girls kissing girls, if his old footage is anything to go off of, as well as the way he deals with the detractor community (and a number of other things), I think we can chalk that up to him just being really immature. And he doesn't even necessarily need all kinds of negative conditioning to be what he is, he seems more than capable of getting things into his oddly-shaped head that make no sense to be there.
 
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