🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Gold Star Commissar said:
Alternatively, maybe the moral is just "don't stick your dick in crazy."
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If someone has stuck their dick in crazy, the moral is don't stick your dick in crazy.

There can be other morals too, but as a man that one should always be as close to your heart as "remember to put the toilet seat down" and "don't use shampoo/soap as lube".
 
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tfw you release your jailbait girlfriend's sextape while she's in the kookoo house and then you realize you can get #metoo'd

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Okay so we have an alcoholic z-grade talk show host who has a legion of guntguards, a pathological liar woman with a possible humiliation fetish, a teen meth-dealer who wanted kids one day with said woman, a gunnut father, a sextape, a mexcian grifter jew who could possibly taking the heat by talking about lolicon and pedophilia, a 20 something boomer brittish royal (possible fed if rand is to believed) who uses tv remotes to look things up on youtube to rant about, a fucking leaf evangelical preacher who showed bleached ass and his white nationalist cook roommate, an academic with nipple clamps, an exiled boulder king and a mushroom on the road to redemption and a host of other minor characters. And somehow... all of this came together into this shit show. This is magical. It's easy to get swept up in the moment but when you step back to look at the big picture its something else.
 
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Gold Star Commissar said:
Seriously, this whole thing is the sheer definition of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes."

Focusing just on Ralph for a minute, here's the situation he's in. Let's take things at face value. When he addressed the situation on the Killstream, he stated, and I'm paraphrasing, "We're still together, we're working on our relationship offline." Let's break this down. So, from everything we've learned today, Ralph's teenager is possibly in a psych ward being held for mental health issues when he talked about that (according to her father). So Ralph is trying to hold this whole thing together?

We know from the ex's streams that the teenager apparently said all sorts of disparaging shit about Ralph. We know from the father that she had him convinced the ex-whatever was a stalker and no doubt said all sorts of crazy shit to both Ralph and the father. Now there's rape accusations being bounced around (which I don't for one moment believe). This is the hot eighteen year old girlfriend that Ralph is supposedly trying to keep on a pedestal?

Additionally, if Ralph shared the sex tape in an alcoholic stupor while she was locked in a looney bin, there's absolutely zero way he could have gotten consent.

Every time I think this thing is slowing down, more and more crazy shit just pops off. Alternatively, maybe the moral is just "don't stick your dick in crazy." Or both.
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There are a lot of lessons here:

- Don't fuck kids.
- Don't start a relationship with a crazy person.
- Don't cheat on your partners.
- Don't do poo stuff in the bedroom.
- Don't film a sex tape.
- Don't release a sex tape to the internet.
- Don't make the internet your enemy.
- Don't try to win a war against the internet (it's futile).
- Don't drink or do drugs.
- Don't have a gunt. :gunt:
- Don't be a felon.
- Don't make the internet your only source of income.

And many more. If you have done even a couple of these things you've probably failed at life - Ralph is an exceptional case.
 
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Disheveled Human said:
the only person I trust is Matthew Vickers in this scenario.
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I'm not even sure I trust him. He's come Cali z-lister ghost hunter who was so ineffective as a parent their daughter willingly chose to lick the festering grease from a grizzled gunt crease. He's acting like a jilted ex spilling whatever info they could to own their estranged lover.

It's entertaining as fuck to watch this trashfire though. Every time I think it's died down another can of metaphorical hairspray can detonates in the embers.
 
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The Bovinian Derivative said:
Okay so we have an alcoholic z-grade talk show host who has a legion of guntguards, a pathological liar woman with a possible humiliation fetish, a teen meth-dealer who wanted kids one day with said woman, a gunnut father, a sextape, a mexcian grifter jew who could possibly taking the heat by talking about lolicon and pedophilia, a 20 something boomer brittish royal (possible fed if rand is to believed) who uses tv remotes to look things up on youtube to rant about, a fucking leaf evangelical preacher who showed bleached ass and his white nationalist cook roommate, an academic with nipple clamps, an exiled boulder king and a mushroom on the road to redemption and a host of other minor characters. And somehow... all of this came together into this shit show. This is magical. It's easy to get swept up in the moment but when you step back to look at the big picture its something else.
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This is like DSP catfish story but even more convoluted.
 
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Delicious Diversity said:
And many more. If you have done even a couple of these things you've probably failed at life - Ralph is an exceptional case.
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Ralph is a man who should have exited off the internet a long time ago. I rarely seen any guy go through so many websites for a show. Seriously, how many channels did he go through? Surviving that long can make a person think they are invincible, that's when reality crashes in.
 
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BadTakeCrucifier said:
My OTP lolcow for this is Anita Sarkeesian, who is back again with a suspiciously crappy bullying help hotline. I would LOL so hard if she went and had a gamergate field day on this dumpsterfire.
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We need to get Brianna Wu's take on all of this. Ralph was like his/her mortal enemy during GaymerGate and he/she (it?) celebrated ecstatically when he went to jail. If he/she knew he had groomed a teenage girl and released revenge porn of her I'm sure Wu would be interested.
 
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Delicious Diversity said:
We need to get Brianna Wu's take on all of this. Ralph was like his/her mortal enemy during GaymerGate and he/she (it?) celebrated ecstatically when he went to jail. If he/she knew he had groomed a teenage girl and released revenge porn of her I'm sure Wu would be interested.
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Holy fuck if that happened, the harvest would be over 1 trillion corn
 
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Pump Meat said:
Do you think Ralph will allow her to "move in" and continue their relationship? I mean he'd have at least intimated that to her if she is planning on staying in VA. I wonder what his mom thinks of this girl lol
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She would probably be thankful a female would even go within a few feet of him.
 
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