Hey everyone out there in youtube land, my name is jennifer and this is my channel
I have been gone for some time, semi back
Very quick update video about what is going on, where she has been
Short REEECAP
More detail in the coming days, she still isn't feeling the greatest, but wanted to make a video because its been so long (6 weeks-ish?)
SO many people messaging her and DM-ing her
Will no longer read the comments
Since she is no longer reading the comments, she will not be replying to the comments
She has a LOT of emells
Hasn't gone thru them yet
"Not there yet"
planning on it though! Will get back there!
Planned on it last week, didn't happen
"You plan, God laughs", exactly what happened
She has found she is more "so much more peaceful" not reading comments
They are so toxic, so vile
When you spend so much time trying to...(rebooting)
She felt she had to defend herself, spent so much time to justify her choices, her reasons
Spends too much time
Toxicity that is, was her comment section
Comment section sank into her, she was becoming as toxic as the comments were
She was rude to people and snarky
No matter how much people are vile to her, doesn't give her the right to act in the same way
Brings her down to their level
Makes her feel "crappy"
She is not a negative person by nature!
When you surround yourself with negativity, you become exactly what surrounds you
These weeks without it have been very peaceful
Not the only thing wrong with her life!!!
The least worrisome thing
The easiest thing to fix
Stopped uploading!
Stopped coming back to her channel!!
Got an email, comment section is crazy!!!
Got Boog, I mean Gene, to go through her comments
100% behind her not reading the comments
Deleted a lot of comments,
Blocked a lot of people
Doesn't want Gene to go through that again
But she is gonna make her friend do it!
She knows what she is looking for!
No more toxicity
Her channel is a peaceful and positive place
Gonna be hard
Gotta weed out negativity
And people...
What I have learned...
Working VERY hard with her therapist and my psychiatrist
One of the things I've learned
People feel like they have the right to judge you
Just because you put yourself out there
People think they have the right to be "real" with you because they watch your channel
That real is hurtful!
And negative!
No matter WHAT you do in life, that doesn't give someone the right to be rude to you!!
Many Other channels make videos about her
You feel the need to wanna talk about her?
You are more than welcome to talk about her
Does not bother her
You go to one of those channels
It is NOT going to happen on hers!
It is going to take a long time
Her friend is committed!!
We will get back to positivity!
If she loses views and subscribers, then FINE
She would rather have 5 cool, positive subscribers
Than 500 negative
All about perspective
Bringing positivity back into her life!
Its been a struggle
Several different Medical issues
Not going to go into a lot of detail
Starting to recover, getting treatments
Last weekend really bad cramps
Laid on a heating pad, fell asleep
Heating pad burned her!!!
2nd degree burns in an area that is painful
Working with a doctor to heal them without infection or surgery to repair those
Very painful
Dilling with it
This has her bed bound
Has to have her pants off cuz of the area
Would offer to show pictures
But doesn't feel comfortable showing off her private parts
Very painful
It was a week ago today when the blisters popped
Didn't realize what was going on, didn't know she was burnt
Thought it was the way she laid
Had to have gene to lift her FUPA to see what was going on
One the size of a 50 cent piece, the other a nickel
Very painful
In bed
Depressing
She was Feeling better emotionally
She wants to be doing things!!
Making the video and getting back into bed
Has a dr. Appointment this afternoon
Make this video, go shower, "air out", lay in bed then doctor
Hopefully everything will be okay
The least of the worry...(reboot again)
Hopefully no hospital stays because of them
Hopes everything will just go right like its supposed too
There has been a lot of questions
Doesn't know where to begin
Posted some pics on instagram
People assuming there are problems with Gene??
No problems!
Getting along better than ever!!
Doesn't want to speak for Gene
Does it anyway
They are better at learning to getting along!
Love is growing on a daily basis
He is doing well
I am proud of him!!
She wants him to post more videos
She saw his walk around video
She hopes in the coming weeks she can get better, and wants to make a video of Wheeling
Getting ready to move soon!!
No plans of coming back to live
Will visit, has family and friends
Does not plan on living in West Virginia ever again
Very excited to bring us on her journey
New road
New paths
Working with a therapist!!
Feels stronger
Purging her life of negativity and toxicity
Its why she will no longer read comments
Didn't know if she was even going to make any more YouTube videos
Enjoys making her videos
It is a creative output
She isn't the most talented edit
And letting go of the money, I mean channel, would hurt her, it would be sad
If this doesn't work
She will just make a new channel, monetization be damned
Gonna follow Gods plan
They are working on their spiritual journey
Been doing some bible studies
Going very well
When her spirituality is strong, the rest of her life is strong as well
Weigh in soon!
Hopefully within the next week
Admits to binging a lot during her absence
She did film a binge day and the calories
Wants to share it
Very shameful
Lot of people deal with it
People make you feel like A freak, not normal
You are not a freak if you have an eating disorder
Many people like me
Not that unique
Don't feel comfortable sharing the 5 K calorie binge because other people shame her
She has never binged in front of gene
Has overeaten!! Eaten more than she should
Never will binge in front of Gene
is too embarrassed
Will eat while Gene is asleep
Needs to work on sleeping instead of eating
Hope to have a weigh in this week
Gonna do more what I eat in a day
Not exciting, but she enjoys it
And that is what her channel is about
Her enjoyment
Not trying to make anyone understand her choices or be okay with her choices
She is going to live her life wrong choices or good
Not going to defend her diet, her relationship, her mental issues, they are her choices and she will not answer to anyone ever again
She doesn't have too
Food plan still keto!
Going back to Keto again and again and again and again *insert insane giggle*
Lifestyle that works best for her
Lost 60 pounds because of keto last summer
Then gained it back!
But will lose it again
Is still losing
Getting tired and sore
Needs to lay down
Needs shower
Next couple of days, another video!!
Appreciates the comments reaching out to her
Doesn't know when she will get to her messages
When she is feeling better
Thank you for sticking with her!!
You guys are amazing
Will continue to post for you guys!
Are those that enjoy and can relate to her struggles
Again, not that unique
Wants to be a voice for people who struggle
No matter how many times you fail, you will always be fat
I mean
No matter how many times you fail you will get back up
Be watching for new videos!!
Almost 8 o clock in the A.M.
Gonna end it here
Gonna be back with a new video!
Will be more coherent, pain has her thoughts everywhere
Do good things
Bye everyone!!
