DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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You know, between paypigs getting doxed, the vest streak, and arms-folded tantrums I never thought I'd be nostalgic for 2018 Phil. It seemed boring at the time but we got Mario Sunshine and Mario Tennis that year. His struggle against Lucien!Luigi is the last time I remember him getting legitimately mad, complete with old classics like showing us the controller and slamming it down (well, once).
The problem is that DSP is beyond petrified that he could lose his channel if he goes a little too overboard on stream, so he completely neuters his content as a result and this is in addition to DSP being an outstandingly boring person anyway. The detractors also live in his head 24/7 so he doesn't want to give them the time of day by raging on stream or anything like that.

Of course, all of these efforts are worthless. For one, his channel can get taken down (maybe even banned outright) as long as someone just decides that it needs to happen, as we have seen recently.
Second, people still laugh at DSP on a daily basis due to his lifestyle and overall shenanigans anyway, especially whenever he goes on a huge rant during prestreams. So he doesn't even get the satisfaction of not entertaining the trolls either.
 
You know, between paypigs getting doxed, the vest streak, and arms-folded tantrums I never thought I'd be nostalgic for 2018 Phil. It seemed boring at the time but we got Mario Sunshine and Mario Tennis that year. His struggle against Lucien!Luigi is the last time I remember him getting legitimately mad, complete with old classics like showing us the controller and slamming it down (well, once).
I miss Phil playing sports games he clearly has no understanding of or how to strategize, and seriously getting furious playing them as a 36 year old.
 
I dread to think what would happen to a child they're supposed to be responsible for.
Would be a very neglected child and constantly used for profit by Phil, would also probably get some disorder while growing up e.g. histrionic, antisocial or borderline.
 
The problem is that DSP is beyond petrified that he could lose his channel if he goes a little too overboard on stream, so he completely neuters his content as a result and this is in addition to DSP being an outstandingly boring person anyway. The detractors also live in his head 24/7 so he doesn't want to give them the time of day by raging on stream or anything like that.

Of course, all of these efforts are worthless. For one, his channel can get taken down (maybe even banned outright) as long as someone just decides that it needs to happen, as we have seen recently.
Second, people still laugh at DSP on a daily basis due to his lifestyle and overall shenanigans anyway, especially whenever he goes on a huge rant during prestreams. So he doesn't even get the satisfaction of not entertaining the trolls either.

Because like all lolcows, DSP lacks the critical thinking skills to not be a joke, and my personal favorite the fact that he can't get detractors' dick out of his mouth. How often he promises that he's going to ignore it, how often he promises that he's done with the trolls, but without fail he can't understand that bitching about receiving a troll message is the same as reading it if you get asshurt over it. He can't seem to get his mind around the idea that going on a rant about not giving the trolls the time of day, is giving them the time of day.
 
He can't seem to get his mind around the idea that going on a rant about not giving the trolls the time of day, is giving them the time of day.

I honestly can't tell if that's because of his unfathomable level of immaturity or his severely stunted amount of brain power. Or if on occasion he's just bullshitting, like when he said that he's not going to show his phone because it would be giving the trolls attention they want, even though he's already doing that by going on a twenty minute rant about the Champions meme.

Probably all of the above, like usual.
 
I miss Phil playing sports games he clearly has no understanding of or how to strategize, and seriously getting furious playing them as a 36 year old.
He was mad at Madden '12 before he even started. "I don't wanna be a manager and pay my playrrz! Tha-*SLAM*-t's what an accountehnt does!" Even the SOK were confused when he did that, like, "Did he just controller slam for that?" I guess he was hitting the gin hard even then.
 
Phil is more of a children's entertainer screaming clown now than he ever was. Phil has no awareness past, present and future.
Maybe that’s how he justifies it in his head, he only cares about who you were at the beginning.

PDP was a children’s entertainer when he started but has matured and chilled pot with age, but that’s not good enough for Phil

meanwhile phil believes he’s was the realist mother fucker on the internet when he started on YouTube, so that’s an eternal get out of jail free card for any future children entertaining he does
 
What's funny is that even if Phil didn't have the issue of being the center of a swirling vortex of autism, he would still have trouble attracting sponsors due to the fact that he's just not a good, reliable spokesperson. Say what you will about guys like MXR who have shilled games like Raid: Shadow Legends (or whatever it's called), they do what their sponsor wants them to do and are professional and consistent with their shilling. Try to picture Phil doing that. The same guy who, while with Machinima, did an unboxing video where he didn't open the box and couldn't be bothered to wait until a loud obnoxious fire alarm wasn't going off.

I don't get his shit fits about people who do sponsored stuff. It's mostly just an annoyance when people stop videos to talk about their sponsors, but I don't care that much so long as it's clearly stated and marked as a sponsor thing.

There is no way he could ever get a sponsor for anything, ever. The people who handle that shit are pretty tone deaf to what the young people like, but I have no doubt that when they do their research into people they want to pay to shill for them, they are pretty thorough. Phil is a negative person. He's negative about everything, and it's pretty evident even in his videos where he's not losing his shit over nothing. That's not going to encourage people to buy into what you're selling. Add on that he's totally unreliable and is about a 50/50 chance of him badmouthing your product, or else another product of/like yours and it's no mystery why no one wants to seek him out for sponsorship.
 
There is no way he could ever get a sponsor for anything, ever. The people who handle that shit are pretty tone deaf to what the young people like, but I have no doubt that when they do their research into people they want to pay to shill for them, they are pretty thorough. Phil is a negative person. He's negative about everything, and it's pretty evident even in his videos where he's not losing his shit over nothing. That's not going to encourage people to buy into what you're selling. Add on that he's totally unreliable and is about a 50/50 chance of him badmouthing your product, or else another product of/like yours and it's no mystery why no one wants to seek him out for sponsorship.

I genuinely think that the people behind the marketing for the Raid mobile game are absolutely unscrupulous and would be willing to sponsor Phil, if they ever heard of him. I remember seeing a funny video of some alt-right dude who was about to go on a tirade about why waves of immigration are bad for the country, but then paused to tell us about this awesome new mobile game and how we could get a discount on stuff if we used his promo code. The problem is that these people are unaware Phil exists, or else they glanced at the numbers of views he gets on YouTube and Twitch and immediately removed him from consideration.
 
I genuinely think that the people behind the marketing for the Raid mobile game are absolutely unscrupulous and would be willing to sponsor Phil, if they ever heard of him. I remember seeing a funny video of some alt-right dude who was about to go on a tirade about why waves of immigration are bad for the country, but then paused to tell us about this awesome new mobile game and how we could get a discount on stuff if we used his promo code. The problem is that these people are unaware Phil exists, or else they glanced at the numbers of views he gets on YouTube and Twitch and immediately removed him from consideration.
Phil Burnell: a worse sponsor for a brand than James Allsup
 
I genuinely think that the people behind the marketing for the Raid mobile game are absolutely unscrupulous and would be willing to sponsor Phil, if they ever heard of him. I remember seeing a funny video of some alt-right dude who was about to go on a tirade about why waves of immigration are bad for the country, but then paused to tell us about this awesome new mobile game and how we could get a discount on stuff if we used his promo code. The problem is that these people are unaware Phil exists, or else they glanced at the numbers of views he gets on YouTube and Twitch and immediately removed him from consideration.
sounds like someone should reach out and let them know about DSP. shilling raid is so easy even a monkey could do it, you literally read a script and play their video. phil gets paid and we get to laugh at the pig being a shill, but it's ok, he's actually not a shill. he's just giving us his ahnest opinion, and that opinion is raid shadow legends is one hell of an amazing game and if you sign up with his code you'll get 15,000 silver and a 4 star champion! also would be hilarious to eventually find out he also dropped 40k on the game a few months down the road, while not AS scummy as WWE champions, raid is really fucking scummy.
 
For people who want to see more rage just know it’s coming. Based on how he played it the first time Arkham City, especially the boss fights, will piss him off. Then he is playing Divinity II and based on the party member death system and how he tried bulldoze his way through KOTOR he might ragequit the game.

Once the Hardcore Begging Season arrives Crash 4 might provide knee slaps and controller slams and of course he is going to hate Cyberpunk and call his audience who like it idiot sheep only to pull a Sekiro/RE 2 remake and pretend he loves it. I don’t know if I’m missing anything else someone would like to add, but it really is those games and maybe a mystery arc that pops up that are worth looking forward to the rest of the year.
 
I genuinely think that the people behind the marketing for the Raid mobile game are absolutely unscrupulous and would be willing to sponsor Phil, if they ever heard of him. I remember seeing a funny video of some alt-right dude who was about to go on a tirade about why waves of immigration are bad for the country, but then paused to tell us about this awesome new mobile game and how we could get a discount on stuff if we used his promo code. The problem is that these people are unaware Phil exists, or else they glanced at the numbers of views he gets on YouTube and Twitch and immediately removed him from consideration.

Awhile back he was asked if they'd tried getting him to promote their game and he said they hadn't.

Yet fellow lolcow Wings of Redemption said he had been contacted to promote it, but turned it down.

So that mobile game company likely IS aware or dsp if they asked Wings. In other words, dsp is such a goddamn toxic black hole of negativity that wings of fucking redemption is eligible to sell their game before dsp is.

dsp has the opposite of the midas touch, where everything he touches or gets involved in just turns to shit. No company is gonna want to get involved with that motherfucker.
 
There is no way he could ever get a sponsor for anything, ever.
That's the oddity here - he has gotten some sponsorship opportunities, mostly from companies/parties that were small and unscrupulous, or from big corporations that didn't notice who they were dealing with. Off the top of my head...

He's gotten a few free games. Most recently the Mario and Sonic at the Olympics game that he didn't disclose was a review copy until after playing it, and then had to edit the YT video titles to include proper disclosure. Phil didn't say who his source was, but did insinuate that they have sent him some free games... presumably none of which were disclosed. He thinks that, because he shit on the game, it makes him 'real', but not disclosing it makes him look like a sleazebag.

There were the sponsored streams. I won't say he was up ELO Hell's ass, but I will say, he kept it clean and let it's flaws - pure FakeSydePhil. He did the same with Assassins Creed, a game he was constantly screaming at, and then went FakeSyde for just the section he chalked up to the sponsorship program. Phil has implied that the ELO Hell devs possibly got him blacklisted, and then UbiSoft got him banned from the program completely, all based on the feedback they got.

There were the two chair companies, which is where Phil really demonstrated that he will shill his little heart out if you'll sponsor him. The first company folded immediately, the second allegedly sent him the chair for free. But crucially, Phil started plugging it on stream and banning anyone who spoke ill of the company or gaming chairs before he even sat in the chair. He now admits it is shit, and quotes the people in chat who said it was a shifty business model. The ones he banned.

There is the mystery of the Switch joycon he recently reviewed for unknown parties that also reinforced the shill issue. He never used the product. He fondled them a little, and then apparently regurgitated what Kat said about her experiences with them. So he'll accept review products that he has no intent to use himself.

Finally, we can also look at what Phil does with the people he chooses to 'sponsor', so to speak - interviews. When he is offered an interview, even by a party that would ostensibly be helping him with an issue (Wreckeyetta), Phil demands total compliance. He wants it all softball, he wants smoke blown up his ass, and he wants any viewer that steps out of line to be completely annihilated, or have any kind of public facing chat removed. Considering this, it kind of makes sense why he believes the reverse - he thinks that to promote something, you need to swear a blood oath and carry their banner into war. Because that's what you better fucking do for him.

Phil's stance on sponsorship comes from two perspectives. First, jealousy. He hates that people can get sponsorships and he cannot, not even because of the trolls but because he is stubborn and obnoxious. So he'll shit on them and position himself as an overlooked underdog to try to compensate. Second, hypocrisy. Phil knows that if he gets a sponsorship, he will voraciously suck their dick, and do any kind of shady shit that might help. He assumes everyone else would do this, and he is free to fault them for it, even if he has no proof that they are acting like he would.

Unrelated, but my favourite part of last night's rant was the way he seamlessly wove in the return of the 'Black and White Mentality' philosophy. He had to drop this for a while because it was getting mocked so hard, but I'm glad to see he thinks its a high horse he can ride through town again.
 
Awhile back he was asked if they'd tried getting him to promote their game and he said they hadn't.

Yet fellow lolcow Wings of Redemption said he had been contacted to promote it, but turned it down.

So that mobile game company likely IS aware or dsp if they asked Wings. In other words, dsp is such a goddamn toxic black hole of negativity that wings of fucking redemption is eligible to sell their game before dsp is.

dsp has the opposite of the midas touch, where everything he touches or gets involved in just turns to shit. No company is gonna want to get involved with that motherfucker.
Also possible is that Wings was lying when he said they came to him. Mind you I don't know shit about Wings but I just don't feel like he would be above a RAID sponsorship with how much he begs. That said it's also totally possible that RAID doesn't care if you're a lolcow so long as you have simps.
 
Also possible is that Wings was lying when he said they came to him. Mind you I don't know shit about Wings but I just don't feel like he would be above a RAID sponsorship with how much he begs. That said it's also totally possible that RAID doesn't care if you're a lolcow so long as you have simps.

Grain of salt because I'm not too in depth on the Internet Historian lore, but he was either sponsored or mocking the amount of sponsorship in a few of his videos and his brand is comedically dissing on his sponsorships, so it wouldn't be completely out of line for one of the handful of VPN companies or Raid to be willing to dance with a Wings or a DSP just to ride meme culture but I'd imagine that DSP was a bit too volatile and low reaching for them.
 
For people who want to see more rage just know it’s coming. Based on how he played it the first time Arkham City, especially the boss fights, will piss him off. Then he is playing Divinity II and based on the party member death system and how he tried bulldoze his way through KOTOR he might ragequit the game.

Thanks to chat handholding him, it's impossible to know with absolute certainty what will make him rage. Everyone knew Sekiro would cause frustration, but no one could have predicted just how hard he ended up raging at the Guardian Ape. And I don't think anyone looked forward to his Crash Team Racing playthrough at all, but he ended up raging at it more than anything he's played in years.

Arkham City has the potential for salt (I remember I personally raged at the Grundy boss fight, because I completely forgot about the game mechanic you were supposed to be using to win), but I wouldn't expect it as a sure thing.
 
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