- Joined
- Feb 27, 2019
It's totally a name I use for my alt accounts. I think her name is least of the problems her mother created for her.
Community Tard Baby General (includes brain dead kids) - Fundies and their genetic Fuckups; Parents of corpses in denial
- Thread starter jurassic bark
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2016
Oh lord, I found the birth story.
Our Birth Story
It was Thursday, January 17, 2019. I had started feeling the contractions of early labor. Just crampy and feeling overall crappy. I had also started my bloody show, making me feel compelled for one last Mama pampering session, just in case we went into labor over the weekend. I went and got my...www.empathicnutritionist.com
https://web.archive.org/web/20200818231722/https://www.empathicnutritionist.com/post/our-birth-story
It was Thursday, January 17, 2019. I had started feeling the contractions of early labor. Just crampy and feeling overall crappy. I had also started my bloody show, making me feel compelled for one last Mama pampering session, just in case we went into labor over the weekend. I went and got my nails done, picked up my cute and comfortable nursing bra to wear during labor from Target, and then went and got my lady bits waxed. There’s a lot you cannot control with labor, but feeling and looking my best was the one thing I knew I could control. That night was a tough one. I was awake most of the night with irregular contractions.
January 18, 2019; Friday. A cold night in the dead of winter in Indianapolis, Indiana. Fresh snow blanketed the ground in sparkling, frosty white. A huge snow storm was due to come blowing in. My irregular contractions continued as the power went out in our area, not for a little bit, but for HOURS. Glenn and I were getting nervous because we knew Luna was coming and it was getting pretty cold in the house. With the power out we would no longer have access to hot water to fill the birthing tub or heat to keep the house warm! Thankfully, that was not the case. About 3pm the power was restored and stayed on for the remainder of our birth (thank goodness!). Around 7pm that night we felt the contractions were getting intense enough that we wanted the midwives to head over, especially since it was about to start dumping snow! As soon as the midwives (Brandi and Joi) arrived, it was time for our first ever doppler during our pregnancy. Our original game plan was to not use a doppler (and we had no ultrasounds) at all during pregnancy and birth, but moving to Indiana changed that. Since Indiana is a licensed midwifery state, they legally required us to use the doppler during birth (where in Las Vegas our midwife was comfortable and competent to use a fetoscope instead to check Luna’s heart rate). So up until this moment, only our midwives had heard Luna’s heartbeat (via the fetoscope- she always hid from Glenn and I when we tried to listen lol). They took out the doppler and placed it on my belly. Loud and clear as ever was the sound of our little lady’s heartbeat. The sound overwhelmed both Glenn and I and we both cried. It was such a special experience and I think well worth the wait. After finding that Lunas heart was strong, the midwives suggested that I try getting in the birthing tub. Once it was filled with warm water, I got in and from that moment on I was in the tub for pretty much the rest of the birth. (This was not something I thought I would be doing since I am not a bath lover, I find the pruning of my digits to be quite painful. But, guys, the pain relief I got from the water and the warmth was enough that leaving the water was OUT OF THE QUESTION!).
Once I was situated in the tub, we placed all of my pregnancy and birthing crystals, that were able to be, in the water. (This was very important to me as I feel a deep connection with crystals and their healing properties.) We also used Himalayan sea salt lamps, Palo Santo, essential oils (lavender and lemon grass – my favorite combo) and Christmas lights to create the ambiance that we wanted for our birth. During the labor, we had a birth photographer, Piper, capturing the moments of our labor. We were so lucky to have met her so soon after moving to Indy! She is a very talented photographer and stayed with us for so many hours capturing some beautiful and life changing moments
At first the contractions had been bearable and fine. I even felt they were a bit exciting, just knowing that the time had come for me to birth my baby! As labor intensified and the contractions quickened, they were so intense and NOTHING like I had thought they would be! I had the thinking, that since I had studied hypnobirthing so much and so hard that I could and would have a pain free (but very intense) birth where I breathed my baby out, instead of pushing. I could not have experienced anything more different! Labor, and my experience, weren’t even close to what I had thought! My contractions were extremely painful and made me moan and scream out; at times, uncontrollably. To be completely honest, eventually it felt like my butt was birthing her and I was in so much pain in that area! LIKE SO PAINFUL! They were strong and powerful! I would try to remind myself that each one was bringing Luna closer to being in our arms.
We tried to put the hypnobirthing tracks on, but I found myself getting lost in the words and having to restart the track over and over. Instead, what ended up being my birth soundtrack was Glenn’s meditation/breathing app that just plays a sound every time you need to breath in and breath out. The simplicity of it was perfection for me.
Halfway through Saturday, when I thought Luna had to be near making her grand entrance, I kept checking to see if I could feel her head (not knowing yet that it would feel VERY different when her head was within touching rage). At this point, I allowed Brandi to do the first vaginal exam I had had thus far in my pregnancy, to see how I was progressing. The exam was one of the worst experiences and I hated Brandi in that moment as she had caused me so much pain, and what I believed to be, unnecessary pain in what was already a tremendously painful situation. We found that I was not progressing as fast as I should have been for having been in labor for over 24 hours at that point. At this, Brandi suggested that I try relaxing in bed for a little to get some sleep. (HA! I don’t know how one would relax and sleep through such an intense and painful situation).
Glenn helped me to our shower, where I knelt on the floor with the birthing ball in front of me for about 10 minutes and then we laid in our bed together for what felt like forever, but was really only around 20 minutes, before I just couldn’t take the pain and had to get back in the birthing tub. I felt that I could only fully relax in the water. Knowing that I needed to get my body and mind to surrender to the process and relax enough to allow Luna to begin her decent. The water was the only option, because at this point, I was also starting to be over it all and just wanted Luna in my arms already. I was starting to doubt myself, starting to doubt that if my choice to do it naturally was the right choice, and if I had to strength to birth a baby without medical interventions. Several times, with complete seriousness, I told Glenn that this was all his fault. Several times I told him I wanted to go to the hospital and just have a C-section and be done with it all. To which Piper, our photographer and friend, told me about her C-section and how this was not an easy alternative to what I was experiencing (in the moment I thought anything would be easier than what I was going through). Thankfully, Glenn knew how important it was to me, to us, to birth Luna at home without unnecessary medical interventions. He knew I didn’t really want to go to the hospital and I am truly grateful that he stayed strong for us in the moments I was not, and doubted my own strength.
On Saturday evening it snowed so much. It was beautiful watching as I lay in the birthing tub with Glenn. Brandi, the main midwife, was making sure everything was moving along smoothly. Making sure Luna and I were still okay. Every time they’d check her heart beat and tell me it was strong and Luna was doing amazingly, I’d breathe a sigh of relief and think how proud I was for her for doing so well after such a long time laboring already. Kristen, the birth attendant, made sure that the water in the tub stayed nice and warm and got me ice water and ice-cold rags for my neck. Sometime on Sunday, during the second half of my labor, Rachel arrived (the stand-in midwife in case we went into labor while Brandi was out of town for our estimated delivery date). I had only met Rachel once before this and I had immediately connected with her. She reminded me of the midwife I had to leave behind in Vegas. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude when Rachel showed up. This was a complete surprise, as we went into labor before our main midwife Brandi left town. She was exactly what was needed and who I wanted to help me get through the coming hours of labor. She showed up at the perfect time and when I was at my weakest. She was so quick to jump in, to coach me and help guide me through the contractions. She let me squeeze her hands (so ungodly hard- I don’t know how I didn’t break any fingers during this all!), massaged my shoulders and played with my hair as I rested between contractions. She encouraged me to drink my green juices/smoothies, coconut water, and water as often as I could to help keep my strength up. She felt like the best doula Glenn and I could have ever asked for! Rachel kept reminding me how strong I was and that soon I would be meeting our little lady Luna.
To be honest I did not fell strong, I did not feel brave, I didn’t feel powerful or like a beautiful birthing goddess. I felt scared, in tremendous amounts of pain; I felt exhausted, completely. I cried, I screamed, I moaned, I cussed and said, “my butt” and, “oh God” more times than anyone can remember. Birthing Luna was the HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO! Thankfully, I had Rachel, the other midwives, and Glenn there to help me and keep me strong. Allowing me to relax enough for my body to dilate and surrender to the process. Allowing my body to begin moving Luna down to meet us.
At 3:43pm on Sunday, January 20th, my water broke. As soon as this happened a sense of calm came over me. I knew I just jumped another hurdle and Luna was that much closer to being here. The pushing started at 5:11pm. Once I began getting the urge to push, the act itself made me dry heave and gag. It was terrible. I was told by the midwives that this was normal and meant the urges were getting stronger. At this point I was outwardly yelling, “I surrender, Luna, just get out of me! GET OUT!”.
Luna came earth side at 6:34pm. Her heart beat strong and never wavering. She was the brave one. She was the strong one. The final pushes were painful, but the drive I had to just GET HER OUT of me was more powerful. I instinctively got in a squatting position in the water, the one that came most naturally. I pushed, HARD! Over and over. All the while gagging and dry heaving. I could feel her head descending and making the progress and then, when I couldn’t push any more, she would slide right back up. The midwives said this was good, as she was stretching me and would likely mean less tearing. One HUGE push later and out popped her head. Brandi told me to reach down and feel her head, but I just wanted to get her out! Glenn reached down and felt her little head and I think that was a magical and crazy experience for him. After a few more ridiculously painful and hard pushes, all while roaring powerfully to get through the pain, out came our beautiful daughter. I reached down into the water and grabbed her while Brandi helped get the cord from around her neck. I puller her up onto my chest and sat back into Glenn’s arms. Luna took her first few breaths and then just stared up at the both of us, silent, soaking in the world. It was seral and magical, as if she had known us all along. We rubbed her vernix into her skin and then she let out a few big cries. Glenn cried and I was just in so much shock and awe over this being that I had grown now being in my arms; this little being that I didn’t think I would get to have (if you know my husband and I), as we were not initially planning on creating a human family. Instantly I think we both fell so deeply in love with her. Like she’d always been ours, always been the plan. The universe has a funny way of working itself out. We waited until I birthed the placenta and the umbilical cord had stopped pulsating and then Glenn cut her cord at 6:50pm.
After the birth, I was helped out of the tub and onto our couch where I nursed Luna for the first time. She had a strong latch and immediately nursed! I was so relieved as she came early and I worried my body wouldn’t be producing colostrum quite yet. But my body is amazing and it did! In these moments I felt amazing. No pain. No tiredness. No fear. Just powerful, intense, amazing love for my daughter and my husband and tremendous gratitude to my birthing team. Rachel the midwife made me rotisserie chicken and broccoli and fed it to me while I nursed Luna. She was still so motherly to me after the birth. This was so meaningful to me. Once Luna was done nursing they took Luna to be measured and check and I was checked out as well. I got through my 40+ hour labor with NO tears (I credit that to my daily intake of collagen!). After Luna and I were checked, and I urinated, and the team had cleaned up 95% of the birthing gear, the team left.
Then it was just the four of us; Glenn, Marley, Luna and I.
And so, this miraculous journey of parenthood begins.
Luna Elva Ramirez was born on January 20th, 2019; the night of a super full moon blood wolf total lunar eclipse. Luna came into this world on her own time frame, on a day that couldn’t have been more powerful and fitting for her namesake. We named her Luna well before she decided to be born on a day with such a special lunar event. We chose Elva as her middle name as it is Glenn’s Grandmothers first name and also means leader of the elves (which added to the magical nature of her name and spirit). She weighed 6 lbs 8 oz., was 19.7 inches long and her head measured 12.5 inches. Our little Aquarius star child came 1 week early to make her big debut on a such a powerful astrological event.The fucking cord was around her neck.
no guise you're not understanding, it was fine, she meant to say she gave birth to a SERVAL kitten. that "luna" is just a custom realdoll. that's why she always has the same facial expression. her head has one of those expanding boob implants.
Seral=certified naturopathic degree holder level spelling.
There has to be a lot more to the story. I bet she simply ran off anyone who tried to help, even paid caregivers.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
Nope.
Young, fit, 25 year old man found caring for the kid for just short periods too demanding. In my experience, with kids this difficult, the mothers aren’t demanding just plain desperate for help from anyone and the difficulties of the child mean caregivers leave regularly for easier to care for clients.
LetThemEatCake
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2019
Yep, they are usually begging for respite care as tthe kid grows older and larger and more violent, and what they get from the local authority is usually pitiful. If the kid previously attended some kind of sped-school, this would have been cancelled since March, and the mother left alone with him 24/7, dependent on those few hours of respite care as and when the authority deemed it safe for carers to work.
I believe humans are simply not designed to endure the level of constant, lifelong 24/7 care that modern sensibilities demand parents of ultra-speds. They're also no designed to be cooped up alone with a screaming tard for months or years on end either. Human babies are dependent for a limited period during which parents are usually worn down to a nub by the grind of it, and then grow more able and independent with every passing month. Go back into the days before family planning and you realise how much childcare was outsourced almost completely to slightly older kids and the elderly if you were poor, and just farmed out to wet nurses and nannies and basically anyone you could pay tto do tthe grunt work if you were rich. Looking after babies is actually boring and horribly exhausting. Speds often are more demanding than babies as they grow and their care demands actually expand rather than decrease over time, and behavior grows worse, not better. Life revolves around their endless care and burgeoning medical needs, with nothing to show for it, apart from keeping them alive another day. You can see why some mothers go batshit and turn themselves into mommy martyrs babbling about child angels and pretending their goblins are sentient when they're not and all that shitt, and cultivate an army of people who support their fantasy life. It's either live in a fantasy world where it's somehow all meaningful that or admit your life is pure shit, every day is a meaningless old grind and you wish you were dead or the kid was so you could be free and have some semblence of a life again. I don't see many people keeping sanity in this situation without a lot of support. And by support I mean a lot of time being a normal human away from the child. enjoying normal human things as opposed to being a sped servant and a sped punchbag.
It would have been fine for her 50-odd years ago ot dump the kid on the state and never see him again. Society would have sympathized and approved of it, in fact. However, modern society has deemed parents who admi they do not want a massively disabled child to wheel around and devote the next five decades to maintaining are Very Bad People and mothers are damned if they do it, while mothers who actually endure decades of pointless misery in the service of a declining sped are giving some measure of praise, or admiration. Then when they snap after ten years of stress, everyone shouts 'why didn't she just give him away?'. One, nobody would have wanted him, and two, she would have been shamed to the hilt for it.
The father spewing praise for the kid while deliberaely putting an ocean between them is typical. One of the things people don't like to admit is that heavily dependent disabled kids often mean the father takes a hike once grim reality sets in.
I have personally known a couple of families where the MOTHER couldn't cope and took off, and I've seen plenty of fathers who couldn't cope with NORMAL kids either.
There are a lot of overlaps between this, and people who insist on caring for their dementia-stricken parents with no outside help. That doesn't work very well either. Putting a severely disabled person of any age in a care facility is nobody's business except the ones directly involved.
MysticMisty
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2013
The loss of any loved one is hard, and finding out that a baby you want and are carrying has failed to develop a brain and will die is no exception. But this anencephaly group is above and beyond normal grieving, and even grotesque. It feels just outright...sarcastic. Those photos of that barely a fetus in that little knitted bed thing, Blue Death and the Seven Dwarfs, the "Happy zero birthdays ever" thing.... It genuinely feels like they're sarcastic takes at a tragic end to a wanted pregnancy, and yet they're not. And worse, they get praised for mocking the miscarriages and still births of their dead, brainless fetuses.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2018
Poor Josh is gonna grow up like Cal Hartley probably, constantly overshadowed by his narc mom's perfect puppet. You know, most mothers after suffering such a loss would be ecstatic their next kid was viable and whole, but not these munchie "mothers".
JackDonaghysSecretLover
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2019
Oh lord, I found the birth story.
Our Birth Story
It was Thursday, January 17, 2019. I had started feeling the contractions of early labor. Just crampy and feeling overall crappy. I had also started my bloody show, making me feel compelled for one last Mama pampering session, just in case we went into labor over the weekend. I went and got my...https://web.archive.org/web/20200818231722/https://www.empathicnutritionist.com/post/our-birth-story
It was Thursday, January 17, 2019. I had started feeling the contractions of early labor. Just crampy and feeling overall crappy. I had also started my bloody show, making me feel compelled for one last Mama pampering session, just in case we went into labor over the weekend. I went and got my nails done, picked up my cute and comfortable nursing bra to wear during labor from Target, and then went and got my lady bits waxed. There’s a lot you cannot control with labor, but feeling and looking my best was the one thing I knew I could control. That night was a tough one. I was awake most of the night with irregular contractions.
January 18, 2019; Friday. A cold night in the dead of winter in Indianapolis, Indiana. Fresh snow blanketed the ground in sparkling, frosty white. A huge snow storm was due to come blowing in. My irregular contractions continued as the power went out in our area, not for a little bit, but for HOURS. Glenn and I were getting nervous because we knew Luna was coming and it was getting pretty cold in the house. With the power out we would no longer have access to hot water to fill the birthing tub or heat to keep the house warm! Thankfully, that was not the case. About 3pm the power was restored and stayed on for the remainder of our birth (thank goodness!). Around 7pm that night we felt the contractions were getting intense enough that we wanted the midwives to head over, especially since it was about to start dumping snow! As soon as the midwives (Brandi and Joi) arrived, it was time for our first ever doppler during our pregnancy. Our original game plan was to not use a doppler (and we had no ultrasounds) at all during pregnancy and birth, but moving to Indiana changed that. Since Indiana is a licensed midwifery state, they legally required us to use the doppler during birth (where in Las Vegas our midwife was comfortable and competent to use a fetoscope instead to check Luna’s heart rate). So up until this moment, only our midwives had heard Luna’s heartbeat (via the fetoscope- she always hid from Glenn and I when we tried to listen lol). They took out the doppler and placed it on my belly. Loud and clear as ever was the sound of our little lady’s heartbeat. The sound overwhelmed both Glenn and I and we both cried. It was such a special experience and I think well worth the wait. After finding that Lunas heart was strong, the midwives suggested that I try getting in the birthing tub. Once it was filled with warm water, I got in and from that moment on I was in the tub for pretty much the rest of the birth. (This was not something I thought I would be doing since I am not a bath lover, I find the pruning of my digits to be quite painful. But, guys, the pain relief I got from the water and the warmth was enough that leaving the water was OUT OF THE QUESTION!).
Once I was situated in the tub, we placed all of my pregnancy and birthing crystals, that were able to be, in the water. (This was very important to me as I feel a deep connection with crystals and their healing properties.) We also used Himalayan sea salt lamps, Palo Santo, essential oils (lavender and lemon grass – my favorite combo) and Christmas lights to create the ambiance that we wanted for our birth. During the labor, we had a birth photographer, Piper, capturing the moments of our labor. We were so lucky to have met her so soon after moving to Indy! She is a very talented photographer and stayed with us for so many hours capturing some beautiful and life changing moments
At first the contractions had been bearable and fine. I even felt they were a bit exciting, just knowing that the time had come for me to birth my baby! As labor intensified and the contractions quickened, they were so intense and NOTHING like I had thought they would be! I had the thinking, that since I had studied hypnobirthing so much and so hard that I could and would have a pain free (but very intense) birth where I breathed my baby out, instead of pushing. I could not have experienced anything more different! Labor, and my experience, weren’t even close to what I had thought! My contractions were extremely painful and made me moan and scream out; at times, uncontrollably. To be completely honest, eventually it felt like my butt was birthing her and I was in so much pain in that area! LIKE SO PAINFUL! They were strong and powerful! I would try to remind myself that each one was bringing Luna closer to being in our arms.
We tried to put the hypnobirthing tracks on, but I found myself getting lost in the words and having to restart the track over and over. Instead, what ended up being my birth soundtrack was Glenn’s meditation/breathing app that just plays a sound every time you need to breath in and breath out. The simplicity of it was perfection for me.
Halfway through Saturday, when I thought Luna had to be near making her grand entrance, I kept checking to see if I could feel her head (not knowing yet that it would feel VERY different when her head was within touching rage). At this point, I allowed Brandi to do the first vaginal exam I had had thus far in my pregnancy, to see how I was progressing. The exam was one of the worst experiences and I hated Brandi in that moment as she had caused me so much pain, and what I believed to be, unnecessary pain in what was already a tremendously painful situation. We found that I was not progressing as fast as I should have been for having been in labor for over 24 hours at that point. At this, Brandi suggested that I try relaxing in bed for a little to get some sleep. (HA! I don’t know how one would relax and sleep through such an intense and painful situation).
Glenn helped me to our shower, where I knelt on the floor with the birthing ball in front of me for about 10 minutes and then we laid in our bed together for what felt like forever, but was really only around 20 minutes, before I just couldn’t take the pain and had to get back in the birthing tub. I felt that I could only fully relax in the water. Knowing that I needed to get my body and mind to surrender to the process and relax enough to allow Luna to begin her decent. The water was the only option, because at this point, I was also starting to be over it all and just wanted Luna in my arms already. I was starting to doubt myself, starting to doubt that if my choice to do it naturally was the right choice, and if I had to strength to birth a baby without medical interventions. Several times, with complete seriousness, I told Glenn that this was all his fault. Several times I told him I wanted to go to the hospital and just have a C-section and be done with it all. To which Piper, our photographer and friend, told me about her C-section and how this was not an easy alternative to what I was experiencing (in the moment I thought anything would be easier than what I was going through). Thankfully, Glenn knew how important it was to me, to us, to birth Luna at home without unnecessary medical interventions. He knew I didn’t really want to go to the hospital and I am truly grateful that he stayed strong for us in the moments I was not, and doubted my own strength.
On Saturday evening it snowed so much. It was beautiful watching as I lay in the birthing tub with Glenn. Brandi, the main midwife, was making sure everything was moving along smoothly. Making sure Luna and I were still okay. Every time they’d check her heart beat and tell me it was strong and Luna was doing amazingly, I’d breathe a sigh of relief and think how proud I was for her for doing so well after such a long time laboring already. Kristen, the birth attendant, made sure that the water in the tub stayed nice and warm and got me ice water and ice-cold rags for my neck. Sometime on Sunday, during the second half of my labor, Rachel arrived (the stand-in midwife in case we went into labor while Brandi was out of town for our estimated delivery date). I had only met Rachel once before this and I had immediately connected with her. She reminded me of the midwife I had to leave behind in Vegas. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude when Rachel showed up. This was a complete surprise, as we went into labor before our main midwife Brandi left town. She was exactly what was needed and who I wanted to help me get through the coming hours of labor. She showed up at the perfect time and when I was at my weakest. She was so quick to jump in, to coach me and help guide me through the contractions. She let me squeeze her hands (so ungodly hard- I don’t know how I didn’t break any fingers during this all!), massaged my shoulders and played with my hair as I rested between contractions. She encouraged me to drink my green juices/smoothies, coconut water, and water as often as I could to help keep my strength up. She felt like the best doula Glenn and I could have ever asked for! Rachel kept reminding me how strong I was and that soon I would be meeting our little lady Luna.
To be honest I did not fell strong, I did not feel brave, I didn’t feel powerful or like a beautiful birthing goddess. I felt scared, in tremendous amounts of pain; I felt exhausted, completely. I cried, I screamed, I moaned, I cussed and said, “my butt” and, “oh God” more times than anyone can remember. Birthing Luna was the HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO! Thankfully, I had Rachel, the other midwives, and Glenn there to help me and keep me strong. Allowing me to relax enough for my body to dilate and surrender to the process. Allowing my body to begin moving Luna down to meet us.
At 3:43pm on Sunday, January 20th, my water broke. As soon as this happened a sense of calm came over me. I knew I just jumped another hurdle and Luna was that much closer to being here. The pushing started at 5:11pm. Once I began getting the urge to push, the act itself made me dry heave and gag. It was terrible. I was told by the midwives that this was normal and meant the urges were getting stronger. At this point I was outwardly yelling, “I surrender, Luna, just get out of me! GET OUT!”.
Luna came earth side at 6:34pm. Her heart beat strong and never wavering. She was the brave one. She was the strong one. The final pushes were painful, but the drive I had to just GET HER OUT of me was more powerful. I instinctively got in a squatting position in the water, the one that came most naturally. I pushed, HARD! Over and over. All the while gagging and dry heaving. I could feel her head descending and making the progress and then, when I couldn’t push any more, she would slide right back up. The midwives said this was good, as she was stretching me and would likely mean less tearing. One HUGE push later and out popped her head. Brandi told me to reach down and feel her head, but I just wanted to get her out! Glenn reached down and felt her little head and I think that was a magical and crazy experience for him. After a few more ridiculously painful and hard pushes, all while roaring powerfully to get through the pain, out came our beautiful daughter. I reached down into the water and grabbed her while Brandi helped get the cord from around her neck. I puller her up onto my chest and sat back into Glenn’s arms. Luna took her first few breaths and then just stared up at the both of us, silent, soaking in the world. It was seral and magical, as if she had known us all along. We rubbed her vernix into her skin and then she let out a few big cries. Glenn cried and I was just in so much shock and awe over this being that I had grown now being in my arms; this little being that I didn’t think I would get to have (if you know my husband and I), as we were not initially planning on creating a human family. Instantly I think we both fell so deeply in love with her. Like she’d always been ours, always been the plan. The universe has a funny way of working itself out. We waited until I birthed the placenta and the umbilical cord had stopped pulsating and then Glenn cut her cord at 6:50pm.
After the birth, I was helped out of the tub and onto our couch where I nursed Luna for the first time. She had a strong latch and immediately nursed! I was so relieved as she came early and I worried my body wouldn’t be producing colostrum quite yet. But my body is amazing and it did! In these moments I felt amazing. No pain. No tiredness. No fear. Just powerful, intense, amazing love for my daughter and my husband and tremendous gratitude to my birthing team. Rachel the midwife made me rotisserie chicken and broccoli and fed it to me while I nursed Luna. She was still so motherly to me after the birth. This was so meaningful to me. Once Luna was done nursing they took Luna to be measured and check and I was checked out as well. I got through my 40+ hour labor with NO tears (I credit that to my daily intake of collagen!). After Luna and I were checked, and I urinated, and the team had cleaned up 95% of the birthing gear, the team left.
Then it was just the four of us; Glenn, Marley, Luna and I.
And so, this miraculous journey of parenthood begins.
Luna Elva Ramirez was born on January 20th, 2019; the night of a super full moon blood wolf total lunar eclipse. Luna came into this world on her own time frame, on a day that couldn’t have been more powerful and fitting for her namesake. We named her Luna well before she decided to be born on a day with such a special lunar event. We chose Elva as her middle name as it is Glenn’s Grandmothers first name and also means leader of the elves (which added to the magical nature of her name and spirit). She weighed 6 lbs 8 oz., was 19.7 inches long and her head measured 12.5 inches. Our little Aquarius star child came 1 week early to make her big debut on a such a powerful astrological event.The fucking cord was around her neck.
she was so obsessed with being in the water that now she has a big water head baby. Cool!
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2016
I support women and families choosing the birth experience that is right for them given the individual circumstances of their pregnancy, but I have no idea how this is legal. A least a nurse-midwife is a registered nurse that can prescribe medication and perform exams. It's some clown world shit to have someone who is supposedly a certified professional midwife asking life and death questions on Facebook.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
I really wonder why this kid wasn’t in some sort of facility given the severity of his issues. I had maybe incorrectly assumed the NHS did offer more full time care options.
The mother was from Moscow. Russians haven’t had the luxuries of the west and they still dump speds and even just normal kids in orphanages if they are unwanted. There was a roaring trade in white infants and toddler adoptions to the west for many years thanks to this. They do not share the sentiments of the west when it comes to the severely disabled.
Olga married a rich Englishman and ended up with a severe sped. Given the type of Russian woman who manages to hustle out of Moscow and marry a wealthy western photographer- this was surely a very unexpected detour for her life and one she was ill equipped in many ways to deal with. She may have even gotten pregnant hoping it was her ticket to marriage and a secure life but it was like some dark genie wish. She got the home in London but in exchange it became a prison.
The father can fuck off. He probably had seen the kid maybe a total of a week in the past four years. His “he loved to travel, visit art galleries...” is just putrid and sound like the warrior moms who pretend their potato in a wheelchair will be a ballet dancer. But a potato would have been far easier to care for than Dylan. Potato kids just lay there, it sounds like Dylan kicked, screamed and fought a lot making caretaking x1000 harder. Can you imagine changing shit filled diapers of a screaming, kicking 10 year old? Devoting the entirety of your 30’s to taking care of a kid that screamed a lot and tried to hurt you for doing it?
It’s awful, but what exactly did Dylan have to look forward to in life? Thirty years of screaming and total infant like dependence for his every need? Its grim as fuck.
Allo Vera
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2019
Honestly, the chances of getting a child easily placed into a residential special needs school is basically zero. It’s hard enough to get even get basic respite (once day a month, say) without there being some sort of crisis leading to Social Services stepping in. Anecdotally, I know of parents (well, mothers) who are slammed and guilt tripped by professionals for even asking for respite - insinuating that if they “cant cope” then their child might as well be removed from their care, which they don’t actually want.
Residential special needs schools do exist, but there aren’t enough of them and they’re so incredibly expensive (and no local authority wants to pay for a place if they can avoid it), if a child does get a place, you can be sure that it’s the culmination of years of fighting, numerous family crises, parental mental and physical collapse etc etc.
So it doesn’t surprise me at all that this child was cared for at home. It’s the norm.
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2018
I follow a woman on Instagram who's 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with a diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma in April. The parents took her to the ER because she was very disoriented, losing control of motor skills, acting very out-of-sorts...then they were told their daughter, the youngest of their three children, had this tumor at the base of her brain and there was no cure, no chance, 100% fatality.
They took her home & made her comfortable, celebrated her birthday, did a lot of little family/friend things. She died peacefully at home, surrounded by family & friends & her favorite things, like Peppa Pig. They buried her on June 11th in a simple ceremony.
The mother has documented it all, but not to point that a lot of these muchie/tard moms do. Her fear, her anger, her pain, how's it's affected her relationship her her husband & other two children. I know the circumstances are different (a child born with a serious condition versus having a normal child that suddenly becomes terminally ill), but it sort of demonstrates the difference between building a community for actual support & for attention/ass pats....
They took her home & made her comfortable, celebrated her birthday, did a lot of little family/friend things. She died peacefully at home, surrounded by family & friends & her favorite things, like Peppa Pig. They buried her on June 11th in a simple ceremony.
The mother has documented it all, but not to point that a lot of these muchie/tard moms do. Her fear, her anger, her pain, how's it's affected her relationship her her husband & other two children. I know the circumstances are different (a child born with a serious condition versus having a normal child that suddenly becomes terminally ill), but it sort of demonstrates the difference between building a community for actual support & for attention/ass pats....
Allo Vera
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2019
Oh man, that’s horrific.
But it’s almost unusual these days for parents to hear “no treatment options” and just... accept it. Just keep their child happy and comfortable and let them go. It seems like most cases like this end with fighting, demands for second options, crowdfunding for vast sums of money to fund some overseas experimental treatment that’s basically guaranteed not to work. Kudos to the parents for just accepting they’ve been dealt the shittiest hand imaginable and not prolonging their child’s suffering.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2018
I kind of get it though, you live with modern medicine your whole life you start to believe there's nothing it can't do (along with a good dose of understandably not wanting to accept the death of a child).
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
I looked up the condition. There was a story about a Korean family in the UK who’s daughter had it. They sold everything to go to Mexico for a special treatment...and she was dead within 18 months anyway. Maybe it got her a few more months, it’s hard to say, but the end result was exactly what the parents were told initially.
I wish I could erase even knowing that condition exists. It’s as brutal and horrific as shit gets.
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One of my Facebook friends and his wife had their first child yesterday, delivered at home by a CNM and they used an Aqua Doula (basically a heavy-duty swimming pool, set up in their bedroom). However, in this case the pregnancy and labor were uncomplicated, and mother and baby are fine. I'm sure they would not have hesitated to call an ambulance had anything gone wrong, especially because he had lived in Malawi for a while and certainly saw what could potentially happen if things go sideways.
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2018
When I briefly worked in insurance, I took a call from a father who wanted to know his hospice options. So I start looking them up & he tells me his 7 year old son has diffuse intrinsic pontine gliomas (DIPG) and the doctors have given him two months to live. That's where I first heard that term. This man just sounded dazed, like he was sleepwalking through the conversation we were having, like he was on auto pilot. He had to call to find out this information, but you could tell from his voice that it was something he never thought he'd have to do: arrange hospice care for his child. I was sympathetic & gentle, I gave him the information and when I asked if there was anything else I could do for him, he said "Do I tell him....? Do I tell my boy he's dying or do I just let him think everything is fine as he just gets sicker and sicker...?"
Broke my heart. It took everything I had in me not to just bawl on the phone with him. I connected him with the insurance company's mental health line and I have no clue what happened after that. That wasn't part of my job. But I took off my headset, went to the bathroom & sobbed for a good 15 minutes afterward.
Even with all our advancements in field of medicine, all the treatments and vaccines and whatnot....there are still some things in this world we can't cure. DIPG only effects children and is always fatal.
Oh really? She asked for that eh? Who is she kidding...
- Joined
- May 8, 2019
I just don't get this whole "birth experience" shit. A good experience is mother and baby surviving. A perfect experience is healthy mother and baby.
A preventable catastrophe like Luna is an unqualified fail no matter how great the experience of laboring for three days in a bloody, shit-contaminated turtle pool on the living room floor.
OB/GYNs can get sued for malpractice if the kid has a birthmark ffs. How is this woo-midwife-pool-doula not in jail for criminal negligence?
Want an experience? Let a real MD deliver the baby, then take the family to Disneyland when it's old enough to enjoy it.
Makes as much sense as wanting a "getting my car smogged" experience where the car and I both get to sit in a hot tub while the technician reads the ODB2 codes. And livestream it on InstaTwitTokSnapBook or whatever the fuck it's called.
A preventable catastrophe like Luna is an unqualified fail no matter how great the experience of laboring for three days in a bloody, shit-contaminated turtle pool on the living room floor.
OB/GYNs can get sued for malpractice if the kid has a birthmark ffs. How is this woo-midwife-pool-doula not in jail for criminal negligence?
Want an experience? Let a real MD deliver the baby, then take the family to Disneyland when it's old enough to enjoy it.
Makes as much sense as wanting a "getting my car smogged" experience where the car and I both get to sit in a hot tub while the technician reads the ODB2 codes. And livestream it on InstaTwitTokSnapBook or whatever the fuck it's called.