DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Forbidden Math]

While I don't expect Phil to suffer terribly for what seems to be inevitable because it's the one area I can agree that pigroach luck is real, it certainly would be justice for his toxic nature to drive away enough whales to put a permanent end to the vest streak. Not just because he's a piece of shit, but because he's a piece of shit who doesn't pay enough attention to what kinds of people give him the most money. They're not big on brains, which he knows, but he doesn't seem to know that with their limited observation skills, they, as has been pointed out, don't see it coming that their whale status doesn't make them immune to what kind of person Phil is. They're going to be shocked by it, every single fucking time, and it would behoove Phil to take that into consideration whenever his natural urge to be an asshole kicks in and it's a whale in his cross-hairs.

That's why I cannot respect Phil in any way. He's a lucky idiotic douchebag, not a clever, business-savvy douchebag. The latter is at least somewhat deserving of the cults they so often create.

Maybe optimistic but I do think that's Phil's eventual fate. He'll just fade in to obscurity more and more until he's basically forgotten (well, except by us, you don't forget nearly 6000 pages of nonsense). Sure he'll probably have whales floating around him for a while, and I'm not saying this decay is going to happen tomorrow, but eventually Phil will be relegated to the "that guy still streams?" layer of memory.

The question that will make that moment really interesting is: Does he keep streaming even after people stop paying him because he needs the ego stroke? He always threatens to stop streaming if he doesn't make enough, but he was threatening that back when he was making "insane money on YouTube" so massive doubt on that one. I personally think he'll keep doing this even if he's getting 50 views and $100 a month. He's addicted to feeling like he's some important big brained streamer who people look up to.

 

[actually]

Correct. He has been around for years, and typically donates during times when the stream is not live.

EDIT: unless I'm.thinking of the wrong person; is this just GoldenColts under a slightly different handle?

You forgot the last part of that cycle, and I only mention it because it really is the cherry on the shit sundae: after Phil abuses them, possibly bans them, they come back for more.

GoldenColts is the one who has cheered thousands of dollars (check the all-time cheer leaderboard). Goldennobles is a different person who has cheered a fair amount, but not nearly as much.

Phil knows that idiots forget their subscriptions and he keeps getting money. It's the only reason his Patreon still exists. And Phil has very likely wasted money the same way. There's also the ego boost that Phil can put on top of his screen every day.

The big sub drops are because tards like OIC gift bunches of subs. As the people who receive them don't actually like DSP, they aren't re-upped the next month. When I tracked it, I would estimate actual subs of around 450. Only about 100-200 happened without a sub notification, meaning those are the ones with paid subs (Prime does not auto-renew) who aren't watching all the time.

 

[Pargon]

The question that will make that moment really interesting is: Does he keep streaming even after people stop paying him because he needs the ego stroke? He always threatens to stop streaming if he doesn't make enough, but he was threatening that back when he was making "insane money on YouTube" so massive doubt on that one. I personally think he'll keep doing this even if he's getting 50 views and $100 a month. He's addicted to feeling like he's some important big brained streamer who people look up to.

That's the eternal question for me at least. Personally I think more than anything through a combination of fear and ego Phil is bound and determined never to go back to any sort of real job. Between having to deal with other people and a boss telling him what to do and running the risk of being recognized if he has a public-facing position (likely considering his lack of experience) he is terrified of having to get a job. So yes, I think Phil will stream for a living even if his standard of life degrades to the point he moves back in with Ma and Pa.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Does he keep streaming even after people stop paying him because he needs the ego stroke?

Given how low Phil is willing to set his "this makes me successful" bar, I don't think any audience is too small for him.

That's the eternal question for me at least. Personally I think more than anything through a combination of fear and ego Phil is bound and determined never to go back to any sort of real job. Between having to deal with other people and a boss telling him what to do and running the risk of being recognized if he has a public-facing position (likely considering his lack of experience) he is terrified of having to get a job.

I've never given any thought to that aspect of Phil's streaming, on account of the fact that even if he really, really, really wanted out, he doesn't have anywhere else to go. He could want a 9-5 until he was blue in the face, he's not getting one no matter what, and even if he did, he would fuck it up even faster than he fucked up all the 9-5's he held back when he wasn't a hermit with a rep.

But if, hypothetically, that were not the case, yes, I do imagine Phil hates the idea of actual work more than anything. He barely puts any effort into the laziest form of work he has ever had, so what else should we expect?

So yes, I think Phil will stream for a living even if his standard of life degrades to the point he moves back in with Ma and Pa.

You know what's going to be the best part of that, if it happens? Phil trying to lie about where he is.

 

[Ted’s Lolcow Emporium]

I don’t think it matters if the vest streak ends. If he can’t hit the sub goals and the vest streak goes after a whale or two like OIC leave it gives Phil the excuse to call it a big shock and a crisis. He will just go back to the MO of the last two years where every few months he has a $1k goal fundraising event. It will also give him a perfect excuse to demand fans buy him the new consoles, couch, green screen, and computer. The gritting will never end.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

I don’t think it matters if the vest streak ends. If he can’t hit the sub goals and the vest streak goes after a whale or two like OIC leave it gives Phil the excuse to call it a big shock and a crisis. He will just go back to the MO of the last two years where every few months he has a $1k goal fundraising event. It will also give him a perfect excuse to demand fans buy him the new consoles, couch, green screen, and computer. The gritting will never end.

You're right about Phil calling it a "crisis" and using it however he can, but there is an important factor that makes this a bit different: he has spent months talking it up as a means of beating his detractors. If that's complete emotionless bullshit from him, then whatever he does in response to it coming to a permanent end thanks to him driving one of his bag whales away will be the same. But I don't think it is, because 1) he has demonstrated just how desperate he is for opportunities to laugh at us, and 2) he has gone so far as to rig the streak in order to keep it. That does not paint a picture of someone whose theoretically inevitable tirade is going to be pure business. That suggests that he's going to lash out at everyone in legit anger.

I fully expect that if it comes to a screeching halt and even his not-so-secret arrangements can't avert that, Phil is going to chalk that up as a loss for him, and out will come the claws just like any other time he loses in his own mind.

 

[Iron Hamster]

That's the eternal question for me at least. Personally I think more than anything through a combination of fear and ego Phil is bound and determined never to go back to any sort of real job. Between having to deal with other people and a boss telling him what to do and running the risk of being recognized if he has a public-facing position (likely considering his lack of experience) he is terrified of having to get a job. So yes, I think Phil will stream for a living even if his standard of life degrades to the point he moves back in with Ma and Pa.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind the dumpling will have to eventually get a real job.

 

[King of Not Playing Games]

Re-watching the 7/17 Twitch suspension stream and noticed this gem. DSP has to wade into ambiguous territory because in talking about his "Twitch contact" he has to mention that he can't get in touch because Discord is down. You can see his demeanor completely change:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVhO33ISUZk&t=1564s (timestamp 26:04)

"[concentrating on screen] I think what happens is when they respond to it, you get an e-mail, and I have no e-mails or anything right now at all. So nothing there. And... [looks into camera, raises eyebrows, rapid looks back and forth between the screen and camera] I- I- like I said, I- well, here's the problem now. [nods towards screen, makes Phil-face towards camera, gestures towards camera] Here's the problem. [slaps leg, looks down at chat] So, I messaged *my contact*, at Twitch, but the problem is [looks away], the only, uh... [turns away, picks up phone, looks at it] communication that I have with that guy, was via [speaks quickly] a Discord "chat server", I have a Discord account that literally, I haven't used in years [massive shrug], I only use that account, um... [looks at chat] oh my god! Massive Cloudflare outage... [leans really closely into chat]"

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

The question that will make that moment really interesting is: Does he keep streaming even after people stop paying him because he needs the ego stroke? He always threatens to stop streaming if he doesn't make enough, but he was threatening that back when he was making "insane money on YouTube" so massive doubt on that one. I personally think he'll keep doing this even if he's getting 50 views and $100 a month. He's addicted to feeling like he's some important big brained streamer who people look up to.

I've thought about this too, like what would be Phil's breaking point to finally stop streaming? There is a breaking point... despite his narcissistic ego, we all know he's only doing this every day for money, and that he hates playing games and entertaining wheelchairs he looks down on as subhuman trash.

I guess it depends on if Phil really believes he could walk into Microsoft, Boeing, etc... and get a decent $50k+ job no problem thanks to his illustrious 12-year online career. I think he does really believe that.

 

[Friendly Primarina]

Could Phil get a job even if he wanted to? Especially with everything going on right now. As an employer, are you going to give a greeter job to a 38-year-old has been with a 12+ year resume gap, or an 18-year-old spotty twerp who hasn't developed a sense of self-worth?

 

[Maldron the Assassin]

Correct me if I am wrong but hasn't Phil been fired from every job he's had? He even lost partnerships/sponsorships. He's going to end up on neet bux

 

[Friendly Primarina]

Correct me if I am wrong but hasn't Phil been fired from every job he's had? He even lost partnerships/sponsorships. He's going to end up on neet bux

This really is the only way he won't starve, other than the Bank of Mom and Dad. He can't claim disability because any authority that grants it is going to get their email spammed with clips of DSP jerking off. Does Washington have any requirements for people claiming unemployment to prove they're looking for work?

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Could Phil get a job even if he wanted to? Especially with everything going on right now. As an employer, are you going to give a greeter job to a 38-year-old has been with a 12+ year resume gap, or an 18-year-old spotty twerp who hasn't developed a sense of self-worth?

Only stuff I could see would be in retail they'll take anyone and because of muh bad back he won't be doing anything in the back rooms like unloading trucks so that leaves being around people. All his talk about working for Boeing or some other company is absolutely fucking laughable, not only does he lack the credentials his only credentials are incredibly outdated and that's not getting into the whole issue of credit and background checks that come with being a government contractor which he'd fail with just a simple google search.

Does Washington have any requirements for people claiming unemployment to prove they're looking for work?

Correct me if I'm wrong but to get unemployment you actually have to work a job where you pay into the system that's what the taxes are for at least that's been the case in the few states I knew people whole filed for lived in not sure about Washington but being a male pollock sure as hell doesn't help his case just like foodstamps or federal aid in general it's easier to get milk from a bull than it is for a white guy to get that sort of assistance.

 

[GunnlaugurSassoon]

I wonder if he’s slowing leaching kat’s experiences and somehow making them his own

"No I can't stop snorting and sniffing okay? It's not funny to make fun of it snort it's a medical condition I got when my mom lahcked me in a clahset full of asbestos sniff because she thought I was possessed by a demon okay dood?"

I'm not sure how plugging a goal is 'advertising' when you're offering nothing for it. I thought, as explained to Nancy, that tips are gratuity for Phil doing a good job... how can you advertise for people to give you gratuity? The whole system kind of falls apart when the service you are offering is begging. Whatever, let's not overthink this, let's just shit on one of our most consistent and long-running paypigs.

"Hello there, CEO of Burger King speaking and boy do I have something special for you. Burgers and fries! Now buying our food isn't mandatory of course, we love cooking food it's our passion... but if you don't buy our food immediately we're going to close down! We really need your patronage! Time to step it up! We're going to remind you to please buy our food every 15 to 20 minutes because this is how advertising works, dumb ass."

[snort]

Close, but as Surly Muppet points out they're a gratuity like DSP explained to Nancy. So it's more like

"Okay guys thanks for coming to Olive Garden, here's your menu. Just a reminder I have my rent to pay so by the end of the meal if you've been liking your service so far remember to tip me."
"Alright here's your appetizers! Just a reminder tipping me is the most helpful right now because I have immediate access where as my hourly wage is paid every TWO WEEKS so I'm at risk of overdrafting my bank account."
"Okay here's your meal, just a reminder that tipping 15% isn't actually tipping 15% because I have to tip out the hostesses and bartenders and everything ok?"

 

[hector85]

I could be wrong here but he seems particularly eager to get to 250 because he probably already spent money prepping for the vestival and probably already spent the $200+ hes gonna make that day. like he used to beg hard but lately he literally counts down the minutes with reminders every couple minutes that the streak could end. that goes waaaay beyond "advertising". I'm curious to see if this keeps up when vest streak 251 is at risk.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Could Phil get a job even if he wanted to? Especially with everything going on right now. As an employer, are you going to give a greeter job to a 38-year-old has been with a 12+ year resume gap, or an 18-year-old spotty twerp who hasn't developed a sense of self-worth?

Here is how he's already bitten himself in the ass for the future. Once he seeks his inevitable employment, he will brag about his begacy. The once potential employer will go looking for his stream archives and see how he treats people that actually give him money. Then it's all over. So he will have to delete this videos and lose whatever revenue he would still get from them.

 

[KKKrèmebrûlée]

Another Pewdiepie and DrDisrespect rant, apparently what separates Phil from them is he makes "meaningful and insightful content".

 

[DZoomer]

That's the eternal question for me at least. Personally I think more than anything through a combination of fear and ego Phil is bound and determined never to go back to any sort of real job. Between having to deal with other people and a boss telling him what to do and running the risk of being recognized if he has a public-facing position (likely considering his lack of experience) he is terrified of having to get a job. So yes, I think Phil will stream for a living even if his standard of life degrades to the point he moves back in with Ma and Pa.

Phil will die a self-imposed death by a thousand cuts. Each year that goes by and he insists on not looking for a more stable job, is a year in which he is making it more difficult for future Phil to have a peaceful life.

And honestly, it'll be fun to watch. It's like some tractor said before: Phil's story will not end in a bang, but in a whimper.

And we get to watch it for free, years of content of a 40+ year old dood fucking up his own life still to come. Praise Jesus.

 

[Kosher Dill]

What's more surprising than Phil not looking for a real job is that he doesn't even try to experiment with his stream. He's got a platoon of retards who will throw money at him to do anything, why doesn't he mix it up a bit? If you're going to be sausage-moding on camera for 6 hours a day, why not at least have some fun with it?
He might even make more money that way, because enthusiasm is contagious. Maybe he'd actually get a viewer if he did something he enjoys.

The fly in the ointment, of course, is that he doesn't enjoy anything except wrestling and homoerotic fantasizing. But he could find a new thing he likes.

 

[Vercingetorix]

I find it really hard to dislike DSP. He's such an asshole in the most non malicious way possible. His entire demeanor just seems to come from pure almost childlike ignorance. I hope he fucks up his bankruptcy completely, just so we can watch him bumble his way through it in real time.