Battletoads 2020 - Chug my dumptruck you stinky wimps, BEEP BEEP, GARBAGE BUTT BACKING U-U-U-UP!

I'm generally confused, the tone is all over the place and the jokes and word play make no sense. At least The Ripping Friends tried to be more consistant with their humor. Even aquateen was able to string stuff together so it could flow along and escalate.

But this? This is garbage, no love or care went into the script.
 
Battletoads? More like Scattletoads lmao
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Steam stats aren't promising, people are assuming it'll just go free to Gamepass users to bait memberships with free shit, not sure that makes financial sense but hey, I'm not in charge.
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Hey Susan notice how I'm a bizarre looking alien and I'm talking to you casually. See this is a completely wacky out there situation with you ,me and the whole alien schtick, but we're all talking completely normal like we're in an office? Isn't that funny Susan? We're all acting like none of this is strange some real high IQ comedy right here. We don't need to tell jokes people just need to look at us and see us acting casually and also see that I'm an alien. I mean in reality people probably would be freaking out Susan and people would be screaming or taking pictures with their iphone but because we're just talking normally we're subverting expectations and therefore are performing comedy just because of that.

NOW LOOK AT ME SUSAN IM SCREAMING BECAUSE THE AUDIENCE IS GETTING BORED OF US TALKING, LOOK AT ME SCREAM AND FLAIL MY ARMS AROUND WHEN JUST A MOMENT AGO I WAS CALM. ISNT THE CONTRAST FUNNY SUSAN I WAS CALM AND NOW IM EXCITING AND SCREAMING? DONT I SOUND FUNNY SCREAMING NORMAL WORDS WHICH I WAS JUST SAYING MOMENTS BEFORE WHEN I WAS CALM? ISNT THIS FUNNY SUSAN DO YOU SEE ALL THE PEOPLE LAUGHING AS I OVER EXPLAIN THINGS WHILE SCREAMING? THIS IS WHAT COMEDY FOR HIGH IQ INDIVIDUALS LOOKS LIKE, NORMAL CONVERSATIONS WITH NO JOKES AND NO SET UP THAT SUDDENLY TURNS TO OFF THE CUFF AD LIBBING SHOUTING MATCHES WITH MAYBE SOME POP CULTURE REFERENCES THROWN IN! DOESN'T THIS REMIND YOU OF THE TIME WE SAW GHOSTBUSTERS 2016 SUSAN?
 
Why does Microsoft keep fucking up their funded titles in noted devs/studios? first there was D4 being fucked out of money, Then there was Phantom Dust being fucked over, then Scalebound happened, and out of all of them the games to get released are this and crackdown 3.
One a bomb no one asked for aside for the meme to call into game-stop about, with an art style that cuphead blows out of the water, and the other crackdown 3 which speaks for itself
I think they are good when it comes to indie teams with games like ori and cuphead but anything with notoriety seems to be a crap-shoot with them.
I'm generally confused, the tone is all over the place and the jokes and word play make no sense. At least The Ripping Friends tried to be more consistant with their humor. Even aquateen was able to string stuff together so it could flow along and escalate.

But this? This is garbage, no love or care went into the script.
It's a beat-em up where the cheesy story is shit, but even worse I think is the gameplay it's just so clunky. the way everything looks and moves is the equivalent of playing an episode of Johnny Test, like the game was made by an AI.
for context here's a walkthrough to show what I mean:
It feels like a quick cash grab but the only problem is, there is nothing to cash in on. unlike the retro 2d platformer, its not like there was a huge beat-em up revival, it was pretty spread out. On the top of my head there was scott pillgram, castle crashers, river city girls, and streets of rage 4, there are there but it's not like its a massive wave of nostalgia for the genre. it's not like it was made for the gamestop meme either since that was dead and buried before this game's announcement.
I mean its not like battletoads was a particularly exceptional game back in the 80s, but this just looks like shit visuals aside
 
The tunnel levels are dogshit, not even in a fun way, but like "why am I playing this" way

That's most of the game. It's hard af I Wanna Be The Guy bs but I Wanna Be The Guy is more fun and more forgiving.

The best Battletoads game is Battletoads meet the Double Dragon.
 
I've got tons of nostalgia for the original. I was dead-on in the target demo for it when it came out and hated the clinger winger with a passion. I was considering picking this up just to see how much of a clusterfuck it was when it hit the 5$ pricepoint but that eight seconds in the OP was like getting sandblasted in the face.

Yacht Club or Tribute Games should've went after the license, they're the only semi-pro developers I can think of who can still nail the eight-bit aesthetic with the proper limitations. NES toads returning with no flicker or slowdown and more levels would be wonderful.

Also it's not battletoads if it's not literally impossible in multiplayer.
 
What is the market for this game supposed to be?
Game pass filler. Quality doesn't really matter to Microsoft, it's just another thing they can put on the service and point at as to why it's an amazing value. Also keep in mind this isn't even a proper Rare game, it was mainly outsourced to some no name studio who does grunt work for other companies. If you look at their website they specifically consider it to be one of "their games" as opposed to the "client games" they've worked on. I assume Microsoft was able to pay them pennies to get it made.

I bum GPU off a family member and played the first couple of levels. It's fucking worse then any of the trailers, screen shots, or forum posts let on. The art style and "humor" speak for itself but the actual gameplay is significantly worse then games like SoR4 and River City Girls which are probably the best beat em ups of the past few years imo.
 
Yacht Club or Tribute Games should've went after the license, they're the only semi-pro developers I can think of who can still nail the eight-bit aesthetic with the proper limitations. NES toads returning with no flicker or slowdown and more levels would be wonderful.

And tighter controls too. I HATE the floaty controls of those games.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: ducktales4gameboy
This is why no one buys your consoles anymore, Microsoft. I got over the Console Wars shit a LONG time ago, but genuinely, I could not find a reason aside from KI and that Rare Collection to ever, EVER want to bother with a Xbox One. There's a reason Sony left them in the dust. Therefore, I see no reason in what will most likely be over 7 years later to get the XboxSex. That's what I'm calling it, by the way. Bit more forced than Xbone, but eh, it works.
 
If anyone finds an entertaining longplay of this where the streamers just play the whole thing and absolutely hate it and rip on it nonstop, post it. I want to see someone with vintage Toad experience get the full experience blind. I have a suspicious feeling Nick Rekieta might do a drunken one given his history with the series but I don't think he's announced plans for it.
 
If I didn’t know any better, I legit thought the video that was in OP’s description was literal cartoon porn played out for children to see. I had to watch that “BEEP BEEP GARBAGE BUTT” video a few times to figure out what does this have to do with Battletoads, and I still have no clue what it’s supposed to mean.
 
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