-damn, i was really hoping it wouldnt really be sloppy joes
-shot one: a cats ass
-demonic fucking cat voice
-okay whoever it was in here who predicted shed sing celine im gonna sue for emotional damages
-she just knows we're on bated breath waiting for that titanic video
-she must be the only person who thinks sloppy joes smell good
-now for the totally true, factual, not at all fake, 100% nonfiction tale of the man named sloppy joe
-warns us its TMI, probably involves shit
-whats with the old-timey music on a non-timewarp video?
-its something that shes making the sauce instead of getting it from a can i guess. it still looks like barf but at least its *homemade* barf
-she doesnt like her sloppy joes too sloppy, but we can be sure she'll get it all over her anyway
-more fucking chips, 'lightly' salted
-a whole bowl of cherry tomatoes and ranch?
-another coldest water bottle shoutout
-would you believe that the dressing is CREAMY?
-i know those are normal size sandwiches but in her hands they seem like sliders my god
-the quietest 'shh' tic yet
-puts chips on sloppy joe as if its something that she just thought of and shes never done, sure jan
-puts away almost a whole joe in like 2 minutes
-she might have to censor this one, worries for her conservative viewers. bitch, where?
-dedicated to her 'big girl' followers. you are more than a 'big girl' chinny, you shot past 'big' 300 pounds ago.
-shes correcting her last storytime, she just misremembered her lie from the first time she told it, totally not fake
-chinnys friend was a slut for anyone that had a car
-she was a very sexual person, as we all know from her numerous factually truly real stories of all her past classy lovers
-"wonders how shes still alive" believe me we're as surprised as you are, but its the food down your throat not the dicks we're thinking of when we ask that
-her friend had a guy that would do things for her and look miserable, but put up with it to get laid. wonder where she got that inspo from
-shes absolutely dousing those tomatoes in the dressing why even bother with a veggie
-back when she was a sexy and dainty 200lbs gorl
-"half what i am now" + 80 more pounds
-she cant be bothered to make up a name for a club, tries to sound like she knows what clubs are like but can only think that they must stink
-dont make us think about your 'pheromones'
-"when im tanked i love attention" as opposed to now i guess. she also says 'tanked' like 5 times
-is she gonna fuck this guy she says looked like eddie murphe?
-we're supposed to buy that some rando came up and offered to eat her out, completely by random
-"youre looking at me today and thinking i would kill somebody if i sat on their face today, but back then i wasnt this size. but even now if a guy wanted me to sit on his face, i would" this just in, chantal BRAZENLY reveals plans to commit manslaughter, more at 11
-had a lover during the beginning with bibbi and she totally sat on his face and "did her die? no" so that'll show us
-some guy asked her if fat girls have fat vaginas, and that i actually believed happened lmao but i bet she was pissed at the time
-im fucking gagging, she says he only asked bc he wanted to know what a 'fat peach' was like to munch on



-nobody wants your dingleberry buffet chantal
-shes totally not a pillow princess. she cant stand up to pat out dough but shes actually a master at reverse cowgirl probably
-her friends bf got her a hotel room just to get rid of her so he could fuck
-so of course, sloppy joe comes back to her room, which she allows bc he had weed
-wait, so she didnt get his name, is this not joe?
-she did the polite thing and checked for dingleberries and streaks in the bathroom, bc shes nothing if not polite
-how does 'drip-drying' make you fresh? fucking gag
-again, she has the nerve to be picky about whos willing to fuck her
-his dick was making her nauseous, maybe theres hope for her to be alr's new boo after all
-she leaves this stranger in a room someone else got for her? responsible
-two drunk girls confirm this man is in fact sloppy joe, and his dick is huge
-hes also a feeder who loves eating out whale puss like its a delicacy
-hes riddled with stds, why does she brag about these guys wanting her again? its like she knows if she invents a half-way decent man no one will believe her (not that we do now)
-she faked throwing up and getting her period, but he apparently wanted his red wings and likes a little ketchup on his fat peaches
-she still ended up third-wheeling in her friends room. just waltzed in and caught them fucking
-her friend was happy to see her???? no you idiot, just bc you didnt want to get laid
-she laughs that the guy got pissed without a care at all that he wasted money getting her a room, which she probably shit all over
-psa: dont accept oral from men who look like eddie murphy
-he should sue her for using his likeness in this tale. at least get some royalties or something
-assures us the time-warp is coming soon
-cat on the table