...
Boring, yes, but there was something heavy hanging over this video. Chantal seemed...sad. I think she is gradually resigning herself to her inevitable and grisly fate, and perhaps even beginning to really climb out of denial and understand the absolute disaster she ate her way into. I could be reading more into this than is actually there, but I think she's starting to get it. And what a horrendous truth to have to face.
This, I think, is pure cycle. How many times have we heard about rock bottom? How many times have we seen her sad
little face? How many times has she said "this time, it will be different?" How many moments of clarity has she had that she has written off as "anxiety attacks"? How many times has she said "failure means death, which is not an option?" How many times has she said she doesn't enjoy doing mukbangs, only to then say she doesn't enjoy weightloss and wants to get back to enjoyable mukbangs?
There is no reasoning here, no sense of responsibility. Sure, there is some regret; there always is a little of that. But nothing cures regrets like a pizza slathered with ranch with six dipping sauces on the side. There are moments when the scales fall from her eyes and she sees exactly what a mess she has gotten herself into. That's when she resorts to flailing at the banister for two minutes to make up for it.
In the end, her choice is stark: accept the reality of her situation and spend years of effort remedying it. Or consume enough fat and sodium and sugar so the disturbing thoughts no longer can make it to her brain. She has known this for years. And she always chooses the latter choice; she simply does not have the brainpower or willpower to do anything else.
If that makes you weep for the human condition, then I weep along with ya bro and offer you a feels heart.
But feel sorry for her? Sorry, I gave up that shit long ago. Hard to feel sorry for someone who cries to her audience and asks for their help, and then blames them, blocks them, and belittles them for holding up their end of the bargain.
She will never believe she is close to death until she is dead. That is one of the most maddening things about her; there will be no deathbed realization one dim night on a respirator for her. Heck, she hasn't been able to even breathe unaided since longer than she has had her channel. But you see what she did yesterday. That's what she does.