حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
That's a lot of anger coming from someone who doesn't care anymore.
But that's the whole thing. It's not enough that he doesn't care anymore. He has to tell us that he doesn't care anymore. That's how you know we're still in his head. A person that truly didn't care wouldn't have taken the time to even say a word.

Don't forget Connor, you're here forever.

EDIT: And this only makes it that much funnier. His last posting was more than 3 years ago and look what it says: https://kiwifarms.net/members/connor-bible.1462/page-2#profile-post-70590

He's moving on with his life. And yet more than 3 years later he's still saying how much he's moved on and doesn't care.

Never change Connor. Never change.
 
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He calls us cowards but won't even name the Farms nor log in to talk to us? :thinking:
He's learned his lesson about engaging directly, but... he still creates accounts on other websites under his real name.

Honestly that's unfathomable to me on its own, but especially so for a person that has known stalkers. I think it's a combination of egoism and poor impulse control that gives him the compulsion to draw attention to his identity as though he were a celebrity.
 
Ah, Connor.

Since we last spoke I've been outpatient for three years, live by myself, & I'll have my graphic design degree in another year or two. A bachelor's, of course. Already got some companies I want to work for lined up.

What have you been up to, big guy? Still taking two remedial math courses a year? Still a woman-hating incel living with his parents? Still running errands with Gram-Gram?

Where's the fucking book, Connor?

EDIT: Yeah, yeah, I know. Couldn't resist. Thanks for Twitter update, @Philosophy Zombie .

EDIT ×2: I feel like I'm reading a Cole Smithey review. :\
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Cinecal. That's actually kind of clever.
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Then pleasure yourself to the tapes.

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Connor hates Julia Roberts for some inane reason and you can check his Quora, which is filled with weird bullshit about Julia Roberts. I don't think anyone posted it yet so it's here.

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I can only assume Roberts and Ringwald hold a bitter rivalry that only exists in his head, because they're both washed-up actresses in their 50s, but only Roberts actually gets roles. This makes one has-been the sexiest woman alive and the other the devil incarnate.
 
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Then pleasure yourself to the tapes.

View attachment 1556375

Connor hates Julia Roberts for some inane reason and you can check his Quora, which is filled with weird bullshit about Julia Roberts. I don't think anyone posted it yet so it's here.

View attachment 1556380
View attachment 1556381

I can only assume Roberts and Ringwald hold a bitter rivalry that only exists in his head, because they're both washed-up actresses in their 50s, but only Roberts actually gets roles. This makes one has-been the sexiest woman alive and the other the devil incarnate.
I get not liking Julia Roberts. I'm not a fan of her work and never considered her all that attractive but to hate her because she's only a competent actress and not a great actress? That's just stupid.
 
I get not liking Julia Roberts. I'm not a fan of her work and never considered her all that attractive but to hate her because she's only a competent actress and not a great actress? That's just stupid.
For me I don't really get caring much about an actor besides liking or disliking their acting, the films/shows they were in, or laughing at the personal lives of the wackier ones. But I understand that people do. The intensity of his hatred is what's weird. You'd think Julia Roberts diddled a kid or something. My and most normal people's opinions on Roberts are that I don't fucking care about her because she's a stranger and she's done nothing to me. If I hated her acting I would just avoid her films.

Tbh Keanu Reeves is a bad actor (not ragging, he's good for action scenes but his acting is wooden as get out and that's a fact) and still everybody loves him because he's a nice guy. I bet Connor does too. He probably just hates Roberts because she dares to be a middle-aged woman in movies, not be Molly Ringwald, and doesn't give him a boner.
 
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View attachment 1556374

Then pleasure yourself to the tapes.

View attachment 1556375

Connor hates Julia Roberts for some inane reason and you can check his Quora, which is filled with weird bullshit about Julia Roberts. I don't think anyone posted it yet so it's here.

View attachment 1556380
View attachment 1556381

I can only assume Roberts and Ringwald hold a bitter rivalry that only exists in his head, because they're both washed-up actresses in their 50s, but only Roberts actually gets roles. This makes one has-been the sexiest woman alive and the other the devil incarnate.

Molly rejected the main role in Pretty Woman which turned Julia in a moviestar so maybe Connor is resentful towards that
 
I haven't read any of Connor's writing in years but from his movie reviews I don't imagine it's any better, so that makes me think: what is he writing 50k+ words about? And more importantly, is it going to be readable? If Connor's writing had a flavor it would be "improperly stored bread but not bad enough to be stale." You can do something with it (that teacher jerkin it to death in front of his class was insane, lean further into wacky grim shit like that Connor) but it's bland to the point of dreadful. If those totally neutral aliens from Futurama had an equivalent of Edgar Allen Poe it would be Connor. His work inspires me to suicide, though not because of the existential horror, but because it makes an exceedingly mundane read.
 
I haven't read any of Connor's writing in years but from his movie reviews I don't imagine it's any better, so that makes me think: what is he writing 50k+ words about? And more importantly, is it going to be readable?
I'm sure it is terrible, but most first drafts are terrible. It is probably really bad even for a first draft though. That said at least he did something.

I'm not sure I can say I'm pleasantly surprised by this, because honestly I wanted him to fail so I could have more to make fun of him over, but I'm surprised by it.

Connor, I know you're reading this, so let me say that we'll all be very proud of how far you've come if you share your novel with us.

By the way, how have you been my old friend? It feels like it's been forever.

Four hours to write 265 words. Still, that's probably the most productive Connie has been in a decade
He finally met his NaNoWriMo goal. It just took him three years.

edit: by old friend I meant you @Coster lmao
 
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Tbh Keanu Reeves is a bad actor (not ragging, he's good for action scenes but his acting is wooden as get out and that's a fact) and still everybody loves him because he's a nice guy.
I have to disagree that he's a bad actor. He's a good actor that just has a very narrow range. His strengths are playing the silent, monosyllabic lone wolf type hero or the stupid stoner dude.

Take a look at his most successful movies namely "The Matrix", the "John Wick" series and the "Bill & Ted" movies. Then take a look at those movies where he tries to "act" and how wooden and unnatural he comes across. Sure he's supposedly the nicest guy in Hollywood but that's not saying much.

If Connor's writing had a flavor it would be "improperly stored bread but not bad enough to be stale." You can do something with it (that teacher jerkin it to death in front of his class was insane, lean further into wacky grim shit like that Connor) but it's bland to the point of dreadful. If those totally neutral aliens from Futurama had an equivalent of Edgar Allen Poe it would be Connor.

That sums up his writing quite nicely. It's not bad to the point of hilarity like Gloria Tesch, or Sofia Nova as she likes to call herself now, but it's not good either. It's boring and dull with a little twist of psychosis thrown in to be edgy. Writing is tough but there's a difference between Connor and a real writer. A real writer, whether they get published or not, is writing because they need to. There's a story bouncing around in their head and they have to get it out. It's like a compulsion. They can't really rest until it's on paper. Connor is writing because he wants to be famous and attract the attention of Molly Ringwald. I don't care how good his writing might be, he's doing it for the wrong reasons.
 
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