Cultcow EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan / cannotgoogleme - Edgy weeaboo coomer with pedo tendencies and 15+ years internet history as a lolcow, now known as a disaster developer behind eternal debug build called "Yandere Simulator", confirmed groomer and dollfucker

The end of EvaXephon?


  • Total voters
    2,411
I wonder what the new tagline for this thread is going to be.
To be fair, tagline of this thread was never good. At first it was "The developer of Yandere Simulator with the face that only mother could love". Funnily enough, VW then sperged that people spent pages making fun of Alex's appearance, when he was the one, who put this tagline onto thread. When told that tagline was the part of the problem, he changed it to this.
Needless to say, that both of them poorly reflect what makes Alex a cow - it isn't because he looks like your drunken uncle or can't add first fucking rival into his glorified alpha-beta-vertical slice.
Actual reasons are:
  • Inability to take criticism or the fact, that someone is about to beat him in his own game.
  • Constant pity-baiting and bullshit excuses.
  • Terrible time management.
  • Awful interactions with people who stop kissing/don't kiss his ass.
  • Incredibly poor understanding of programming, despite spending six years on coding his game.
  • Too much fucking circumstantial evidence towards him being a pedo.
  • The fact that he hasn't changed at all since his EvaXephon days.
  • Using cornstarch as lube with his real doll.
So the tagline should be something like "Edgy wannabe developer of Yandere Simulator with pedo/dollfucking tendencies."
 
"Sexdoll enthusiast, professional sperg, and aspiring developer of a 6-year game 1/10ths done!"
"YandereDev! YandereDev! Why has your game taken so long to create? Why did you waste my money on sex dolls and a second switch?"
"Perverted maniac, shitty game developer, and excessive consumer of both video games and bodily fluids."
"Sex-maniac pedophile stolen-asset-hell owner. Creator of a programming nightmare, ween armies, and finally fucking Osana."
"Stackexchange browser by day, creepy streamer by night."
"I can't believe my 31 year-old neighbor is working on the closest thing to a school shooting simulator!"
"It's those damn gremlins fault I had to by a stress relief doll"
"Lolcow catalyst" (Drapeis, TheGameSleuth, YandereDataDigger)
"YandereDev! YandereDev!" (Midori's line. The antagonist of Alex's mind who represents annoying fans asking questions he thinks aren't worth his time.)
"In short: I'm not a shitty game developer, I don't own sex dolls, I did not have sexual relations with that child, and my game isn't "slow".
"In short: No, that's ridiculous. No, I've never done that, and would never do that. No, that isn't true. No, I didn't. No, I'm not. No, I don't. I never said that. That's not true at all. Not intentionally. This actually did happen. Yes, I do."

Has to be a good hook for new users though. Should be concise while generally outlining all the insane shit that Alex has pulled over the years.
 
Last edited:
Screen Shot 2020-08-31 at 4.03.01 PM.png
 
Should be concise while generally outlining all the insane shit that Alex has pulled over the years.
That's what OP is for. Tagline should incapsulate the essence of a cow. After all, Alex would be bad developer with a thin skin and questionable tastes with or without Aspedis/GameSlut/second switch/Osana/etc. Before YS he tried to make Lunar Scythe, so he was terrible developer long before that. He had meltdown over Mike Z at the time, so he always had thin skin. Also, his love for underage girls comes from his streams and 4chan/Gaia posts. There is no need to shove everything in one line of text.
 
How about:
"Degenerate control freak cooks code-spaghetti for his Hitman-knockoff since anno 2015 ".

Using cornstarch as lube with his real doll.
Cornstarch is not used as lube, but to make the TPE less sticky. TPE has a tendency to become a magnet for dust and hairs.

Finished Exactly 0 Games.
Finished Games = 0;

Like that one a lot.
 
this one's long, not sure if there is a word limit to the titles...

EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan - One-Man Dumpster Fire of an 'Indie Game Dev', Perverted Incel TO THE EXTREME, (Alleged) Pedophile, Mass-Censorship/Invasive Moderating, (People are having more fun getting banned off his server than playing his actual 'game')
 
If you want a new thread subtitle, I suggest:

Deepfake meme masquerading as game developer
You mean the unfunny deepfake memes that only redditors find any semblance of humor in?

How does that act as a good subtitle? Shouldn't a subtitle show off what makes the cow funny while also intriguing new users to read the thread?
 
Back