Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[fuzzyrodent85]

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This is such a waste of salt, but it's better than mixing it with period blood.

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The candle in the picture isn't even green.

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Just get a dog.

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I garauntee that this redditor just asked her child to pose for this photo.

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Yeah, I guess HRT is a shape-shifting potion. It magickally makes your bones weaker.

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Isn't this the breast cancer ribbon except blue? Are they saying being a witch is like having a disease?

 

[Azafran90]

garauntee that this redditor just asked her child to pose for this photo.

Little kids do say those things, but if mine pointed to a malformed green hag and said "that's mommy" I'd be more worried than proud.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

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What is with these people and moon water? It's literally just a cup of water that's left outside. I don't get how it's supposed to do something that regular water can't. How is Mac and cheese supposed to represent feminity and beauty? Now that I think about it, Mac and cheese is very masculine, the noodles are limp penises and if the sauce is white cheddar flavored then it could represent semen. Also, it's way cheaper to cook food than it is to buy prepackaged meals, especially if you grow your own produce.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

How is Mac and cheese supposed to represent feminity and beauty? Now that I think about it, Mac and cheese is very masculine, the noodles are limp penises and if the sauce is white cheddar flavored then it could represent semen

Its clearly a hole, and thus feminine. Besides they're curved, that analogy doesn't work unless mac and cheese is Chris's limp penis. Which may actually be potent in witchcraft.

You would think all water would be moon water given that it comes from somewhere that theoretically experiences nighttime. I also like how children's glow stars are just as powerful as the real ones. Its almost like none of this is actually real or something.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Its clearly a hole, and thus feminine. Besides they're curved, that analogy doesn't work unless mac and cheese is Chris's limp penis. Which may actually be potent in witchcraft.

You would think all water would be moon water given that it comes from somewhere that theoretically experiences nighttime. I also like how children's glow stars are just as powerful as the real ones. Its almost like none of this is actually real or something.

I was thinking more penne pasta, which could also be masculine in the sense that it's not curved like the male figure. I wonder what exactly Chris's penis could be used for magick. @NoReturn any ideas? Please bless us with your knowledge. My guess would be for a glamour spell, so you can aquire fame like he has. Maybe you can cover his dick in period blood and use it to write an ancient sigil while calling upon the power of autism.

 

[NoReturn]

View attachment 1561102
Isn't this the breast cancer ribbon except blue? Are they saying being a witch is like having a disease?

Together we can find a cure for witchcraft

Spoiler

View attachment 1561670How is Mac and cheese supposed to represent feminity and beauty? Now that I think about it, Mac and cheese is very masculine, the noodles are limp penises and if the sauce is white cheddar flavored then it could represent semen. Also, it's way cheaper to cook food than it is to buy prepackaged meals, especially if you grow your own produce.

Its clearly a hole, and thus feminine. Besides they're curved, that analogy doesn't work unless mac and cheese is Chris's limp penis. Which may actually be potent in witchcraft.

I was thinking more penne pasta, which could also be masculine in the sense that it's not curved like the male figure. I wonder what exactly Chris's penis could be used for magick. @NoReturn any ideas? Please bless us with your knowledge. My guess would be for a glamour spell, so you can aquire fame like he has. Maybe you can cover his dick in period blood and use it to write an ancient sigil while calling upon the power of autism.

Spoiler: Chock full of orgone energy

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

*opens thread*

Now that I think about it, Mac and cheese is very masculine, the noodles are limp penises and if the sauce is white cheddar flavored then it could represent semen

*closes thread*

 

[Chin of Campbell]

Little kids do say those things, but if mine pointed to a malformed green hag and said "that's mommy" I'd be more worried than proud.

"Mommy" probably looks (and acts) more like a different green witch.

Spoiler: That's Mommy!

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Does that really work though? You would have to be really intimidating. I know that religion is a sensitive issue and all, but this person does realize that they wrote eighteen paragraphs explaining the evils of cultural appropriation to a demographic that is garuanteed to agree with them? I mean, your basic witch uses they/them pronouns, has green hair and screeches uncontrollably whenever they see someone waving around a sage leaf, they know about closed cultures and that if you do anything vaguely copying them then people will be mad. One thing that always confused me about these people is that they always say "terfs don't reblog" or "straights can reblog". Like, do they know that there really is no way to control what people do on the internet? No one is looking for permission from them. They aren't that important.

 

[AMHOLIO]

"You can't use lilith unless you're Jewish" well damn the ancient mesopotamians must be pissed that they can't talk about the demon that Jewish lore took from them.

 

[Shaka Brah]

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View attachment 1562467 Does that really work though? You would have to be really intimidating. View attachment 1562469View attachment 1562476View attachment 1562489View attachment 1562491View attachment 1562492View attachment 1562493View attachment 1562498View attachment 1562499View attachment 1562500 I know that religion is a sensitive issue and all, but this person does realize that they wrote eighteen paragraphs explaining the evils of cultural appropriation to a demographic that is garuanteed to agree with them? I mean, your basic witch uses they/them pronouns, has green hair and screeches uncontrollably whenever they see someone waving around a sage leaf, they know about closed cultures and that if you do anything vaguely copying them then people will be mad. View attachment 1562542View attachment 1562545View attachment 1562547View attachment 1562549View attachment 1562555View attachment 1562556 One thing that always confused me about these people is that they always say "terfs don't reblog" or "straights can reblog". Like, do they know that there really is no way to control what people do on the internet? No one is looking for permission from them. They aren't that important.

"You can't use lilith unless you're Jewish" well damn the ancient mesopotamians must be pissed that they can't talk about the demon that Jewish lore took from them.

If the average Second Temple Jew heard that a woman was praying to Lilith, he'd get the Rabbi and have her exorcised or publicly beaten. Any pre-diaspora historical Jew would despise people who made devotion to such a dark figure.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

I really don't like this person for some reason.



The reason you think using period blood in spells is gross is because it is. Also, heckin hecks? Are you two?



You can't control the weather. The sooner you accept this fact the better.



She eats babies. Why do you love her so much?



Why are you happy that your dog is running in front of cars? He's going to get run over.



I hate it when Tumblr people slam their hands on their keyboard to represent confusion.



"Talk about the "Fae being pissed" all you want, but if you talked about My Lady or Lady Rhiannon the way you talked about the Fair Folk they'd be just as pissed and you'd feel it just as much, if not more." This sounds like that one kid in kindergarten who said that their dad could beat up your dad.



Crystals are literally just shiny rocks. They don't have any psychic powers.

 

[The Sauce Boss]

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View attachment 1563836 I really don't like this person for some reason.View attachment 1563837View attachment 1563838 The reason you think using period blood in spells is gross is because it is? Also, heckin hecks? Are you two? View attachment 1563839 You can't control the weather. The sooner you accept this fact the better. View attachment 1563841 She eats babies. Why do you love her so much? View attachment 1563843View attachment 1563844View attachment 1563845View attachment 1563846 Why are you happy that your dog is running in front of cars? He's going to get run over.View attachment 1563854View attachment 1563855View attachment 1563856 I hate it when Tumblr people slam their hands on their keyboard to represent confusion. View attachment 1563858View attachment 1563859View attachment 1563860View attachment 1563861"Talk about the "Fae being pissed" all you want, but if you talked about My Lady or Lady Rhiannon the way you talked about the Fair Folk they'd be just as pissed and you'd feel it just as much, if not more." This sounds like that one kid in kindergarten who said that their dad could beat up your dad. View attachment 1563867View attachment 1563869View attachment 1563870 Crystals are literally just shiny rocks. They don't have any psychic powers.

this formatting hurt me on a deeply spiritual level, please make this more readable.

Do none of these people actually read the lore of the deities they claim to kin/worship/whatever?

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

this formatting hurt me on a deeply spiritual level, please make this more readable.

Do none of these people actually read the lore of the deities they claim to kin/worship/whatever?

How do I make it more readable?

 

[The Sauce Boss]

How do I make it more readable?

line breaks after every picture + caption. The way you have it formatted, the pictures are all right next to each other with a sentence or two between them.

like this:

attachment+caption

attachment+ caption

and so on.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

line breaks after every picture + caption. The way you have it formatted, the pictures are all right next to each other with a sentence or two between them.

like this:

attachment+caption

attachment+ caption

and so on.

Thanks so much! I will follow these instructions in the future and edit the post I made.

Spoiler

Good luck hexing your oppressors.


How do you whisper into someone's mouth?


You know what's the best crystal for depression?
Your fucking meds.

 

[AMHOLIO]

You know what's the best crystal for depression?
Your fucking meds.

But my dad said it was meth

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

But my dad said it was meth

@Meth Until Death do you agree?

 

[WinchesterPremium]

How do you whisper into someone's mouth?

Magic? Possibly incredibly gay glitter magic.

That was totally written by a softboy wasn't it? That was the most aggressively feminine thing I've seen all week.

 

[verygayFrogs]

"Mommy" probably looks (and acts) more like a different green witch.

Spoiler: That's Mommy!

View attachment 1562268

Hey gruntilda is a skilled inventor, madwoman and can throw sick beats