🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

[World Star]

Let's not forget how he got his felony in the first place.

She'll be safe, she'll just have keep him drinking up he's too drunk to stand or maintain balance.
Faith if you're in this thread here looking for advise, encourage Ralph to drink more and eat less.

 

[ElAbominacion]

Also if it goes to any sort of court Faith could tell people that "he was so controlling he even took my phone and any means of communicating with my friends and family" which is, as they say, not good optics.

That is a classic domestic abuse scenario, too.

 

[A_right_horrorshow]

She'll be safe, she'll just have to have him to continue drinking up he's too drunk to stand or maintain balance.
Faith if you're in this thread here looking for advise, encourage Ralph to drink more and eat less.

And help yourself to that second strip of mamma's meds while you're at it, You've earned a little extra chemical relaxation. What's the worst that could happen mixing an extra strip with booze? Surely the best way to check those tolerances out is to test their limits right?

 

[RalphsFailingKidneys]

No matter what, Ralph is fucked, it's just a matter of how long before the bomb drops.
Ignoring all manipulative behavior and signs of mental illness that Faith has shown, she's only 18 years old.
Normal 18 year can't manage to make a long term relationship work for more than a few months. This is the time where other kids in the same age range are out partying, traveling, starting college, etc.
She will eventually get the itch and it is going to completely fuck Ralph's life up, because when she does, he will be desperate to keep her and he won't be able to do it.
Add on top of that everything that's happened, she's been lying and manipulating since she showed up, she's called him disgusting and used-tampon breath, she's even cucked him by sending pics to Chris while in the crack shack, all of it before the tape was released.

Ralph thinks he can keep this up for years, thinks he can even use it to own the aylawgs by having a baby, when in reality it will only accelerate his own destruction, baby or no baby.

Once whatever state she's in and whatever misguided emotion she confuses for love passes, all you're left with is an 18 year old mentally ill kid who in no way will be able to stay in a 3 year relationship, she will either run to her parents or she will move on to the next guy she finds (most likely online so be sure to monitor all her internet usage if you want to keep her @theralph, I'm, sure she hasn't been doing stuff behind your back this whole time, right?).

Also, since neither of them has a job I assume they don't have any insurance, those 50k wouldn't even last through the pregnancy so I hope Ralph is ready to give up his trash lifestyle because he won't be able to afford it anymore.

Maybe Ralph is counting on the Vickers' money and that's why he pretends to try to be friendly in the last text, but if one thing seems certain is that Vickers won't back down, baby or no baby I don't see that man giving Ralph money under any circumstances.

 

[GameDevAnon]

Ralph thinks he can keep this up for years, thinks he can even use it to own the aylawgs by having a baby, when in reality it will only accelerate his own destruction, baby or no baby.

Uh... if Ralph reproduces, we ALL lose. Keep that in mind.

 

[MeltyTW]

Uh... if Ralph reproduces, we ALL lose. Keep that in mind.

no we get the laughs and ethan will have his littlest alog and future owner of the kiwifarms borne of his own blood. the third man was ethan jr the whole time @theralph, youve been played, the man in the corn suit tricked you into siring your greatest foe and the instrument of your downfall

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

I missed quite a bit, where'd all the pregnancy speculation come from?

Ralph thinks he can keep this up for years, thinks he can even use it to own the aylawgs by having a baby, when in reality it will only accelerate his own destruction, baby or no baby.

Not just the aye laugs, but dear feeder himself... AH HAVUH BAYBEE JAWSH *sips Makers Mark* yu sittin there karen farming with your broken dick in your hand looking at the latest emburlyn mukbohng while i'm fucking a hawt aye teen year old.

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

no we get the laughs and ethan will have his littlest alog and future owner of the kiwifarms borne of his own blood. the third man was ethan jr the whole time @theralph, youve been played, the man in the corn suit tricked you into siring your greatest foe and the instrument of your downfall

When the child is born, the real harvest begins. The third man emerges from Fai Fai's loins.
Behold! For unto us a child is born!
Cornelius Ralph

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

To those who think Faith has complete control over the situation:

If Faith really is this master manipulator controlling everyone around her with 4d chess mind games, she should be careful. When you play with people in this way it's always a dangerous game. Ralph might not be smart enough to outmaneuver her intellectually, but he has serious anger issues and he's an alcoholic. Women who try to control men like this with mindfuckery end up as battered women. If a man like Ethan cannot control his woman psychologically he will become petulant and enraged, something will snap, he'll get trashed and he'll hit her.

Her games might work while he's sober and thinking rationally, but as we all know, these moments of clarity are not the norm for Ralph. I don't think he is the sort of person who can really be manipulated in this fashion. He is more like a wild Hippo - an undisciplined beast of pure rage and violence. If he feels slighted by a smaller transgressor he will use his physical leverage to defeat it. With this being the case, so long as they are together, I have to assume that either Ralph is controlling her or their bond is genuine.

If she tries to mindfuck him into obedience he will eventually snap and give her a black eye. Let's not forget how he got his felony in the first place.

Master manipulator is not really how I would describe someone like Faith, it's more simple than this. She gets into relationships with men who are desperate, to the point where they will accept her behaviour because they lack the sort of self-confidence that it requires to break off toxic relationships in fear of never getting someone else. Look at @Ahalfwaycrook as a perfect example of this, despite everything that has happened he is still asking for answers in her YouTube comments section - in spite of the fact their relationship was fake, that she dated other people while they were together, lied about Ralph, claimed he was a crazy stalker to her father, he can't break it off. This isn't through being a master manipulator, it's through picking the right victims.

Likewise, Ralph was lied to about her parents being abusive, he was lied to about the "trauma" she had been through. She lied to him about her trip to DC, and she talked shit about him behind his back to someone who thought he was her boyfriend. No self-respecting man would put up with that. Additionally, a master manipulator would not have been caught - she did, every fucking time.

My guess is Ralph has severe confidence issues, exacerbated by the alcohol, the obesity, Nora leaving him and the fact his show is basically on life support despite his proclaimations to the contrary. These confidence issues make him an excellent mark for this type of woman.

 

[PhoBingas]

I missed quite a bit, where'd all the pregnancy speculation come from?


Not just the aye laugs, but dear feeder himself... AH HAVUH BAYBEE JAWSH *sips Makers Mark* yu sittin there karen farming with your broken dick in your hand looking at the latest emburlyn mukbohng while i'm fucking a hawt aye teen year old.

Has anyone been watching how often Ralph has been scratching at his crotch? Or does his setup let him scratch at his herpes sores / hpv warts on the sly?

 

[AutismAwareness]

Null reads an anonymous post from an anonymous user.

 

[Jesus_Christ]

Hey guys, former lurker looking to get in on this sweet, sweet nectar!

The biggest problem with Reethan isn't that he doesn't WANT to change, it's that he doesn't think that there's any reason for him to change. I truly think he believes that everything is fine. We're all just jealous a-logs, and he thinks he's living a pretty good life. He only talks to people within his circle-jerk of friends who encourage his behaviour, and he blocks/bans anybody who doesn't agree with him. The guy has never learned how to communicate with people who disagree with him (like literally every other Lolcow) because he's never had a job where you couldn't just scream at people and have a cappo ban them. I'm sure everybody knows a hag who dropped out of high school, had some kids, and now thinks she's royalty for some reason and if you ever happen to disagree with her about something - ANYTHING, she will get extremely mad/defensive, start yelling, and just keeps escalating the situation until you back off and never talk to that hag again. That happens because she has never learned the deescalating techniques that most people learn naturally when they have to work with people who might have differing opinions. The only way that will change is if he gets a job. If he doesn't get a job, and she gets pregnant and becomes a hag... What a nightmare that would be... but Jesus motherfucking Christ, will it be entertaining to watch as a spectator! The nectar would flow for 18 fucking years!

Seriously though @theralph, if you genuinely want a child you can't have it living in the conditions you are capable of providing. I'm not going to give away my power level, but I am truly concerned for the life you are threatening to bring into the world, so if you want a job send me a PM and I'll get you in contact with a mechanical contractor that will hire you - they're constantly in need of people and will literally hire anyone. You would be working as a Construction Millwright - I think they might call them machinists down in 'Murica but don't quote me on that. Most of the guys smoke weed on breaks/before work, but liquor while at work is a big no-no (feel free to get trashed after work like everyone else though as long as you can still get up the next morning). You'll work with felons and Mexicans who get in arguments with their ex wives/baby mama's as they wildly swing a chainsaw around to cut up crates (might even give you a glimpse into your potential future that we've been warning you about and you'll see that we aren't JUST a-loggin' you, there's a nugget of truth in what people are saying)... It was a truly magnificent sight from my perspective though (just like this situation for the most part), I've never laughed so hard in my life as when a supervisor walked up to me and said in his thick southern accent "Hey big guy, I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything, but could you tell little buddy out there that he should calm down before he continues, I'd hate to see something happen and he gets an injury...". This contractor pretty much exclusively hires felons, it's $20/hr to start, AND you get to fly around the country and stay in nice hotels for months at a time on their dime. You just pay for meals (aside from breakfast which is usually a complementary buffet at the hotel) and you can even bring Faith if you want. It's not Killstream, but it's a REAL job that will get you the respect that you seem to crave but haven't yet done anything to earn, and it might even go a long way to getting Papa Vickers off your back. If you think you're not going anywhere with regards to Faith/the guntlet you guys want to spawn; like it or not, you'll need to PROVE your a man to Vickers (as well as Faith, she'll ABSOLUTELY leave just like Nora as soon as she grows up and realizes you're worthless) because up until now you've been acting like a man-child. I'm dead serious, send me a PM and I'll hook you up if you're willing to make some changes in your life. $20/hr isn't much, but if you put in some time after 4-5 years if you're half-decent and you don't turn down jobs when you get called, you're EASILY taking home 100k/year and you're basically working part time (but LONG physically demanding 12 hour days every day until the job is done when you are working, 0 days off for a month or two working 6am-6pm usually)

You need to understand: We are not jealous, you haven't done ANYTHING in your life to warrant the envy of anybody. Seriously, IIRC the only thing you've accomplished in your life is finishing college, and you just sat on your degree and made it worthless. Good job! /golf-clap. Sure we're all laughing at you're shitty life; and make no mistake, that is what you are living... I don't know where I was ultimately going with that statement... But if you really want to OWN THE AYLAWGS! you NEED to change. That - and only that - is what will cut off the torrent of this sweet nectar that you have been providing us . Nobody is going to attack/a-log/troll a normal contributing member of society for being a normal contributing member of society... But if you want to LARP as an alt-right, neo-nazi grifter... Welllllll... You know how it is... I'm sure this is all common sense to most of the people ITT without lolcow tendencies.

Regardless of what your future entails, thanks for all of the laughs. We're all having a blast. I'm saying this sincerely Ethan, this is fucking great entertainment, better than the KS ever was. I wish I could talk about this to people offline without getting weird looks. Seriously though, I saw it posted earlier but someone really does need to make this into a movie so everyone can enjoy the nectar. Or create a Chris-Chan style docu-series to chronicle all of the gunts arcs throughout the years. At this point, I honestly think his shenanigans trump Chris'.

 

[Delicious Diversity]

Hey guys, former lurker looking to get in on this sweet, sweet nectar!

The biggest problem with Reethan isn't that he doesn't WANT to change, it's that he doesn't think that there's any reason for him to change. I truly think he believes that everything is fine. We're all just jealous a-logs, and he thinks he's living a pretty good life. He only talks to people within his circle-jerk of friends who encourage his behaviour, and he blocks/bans anybody who doesn't agree with him. The guy has never learned how to communicate with people who disagree with him (like literally every other Lolcow) because he's never had a job where you couldn't just scream at people and have a cappo ban them. I'm sure everybody knows a hag who dropped out of high school, had some kids, and now thinks she's royalty for some reason and if you ever happen to disagree with her about something - ANYTHING, she will get extremely mad/defensive, start yelling, and just keeps escalating the situation until you back off and never talk to that hag again. That happens because she has never learned the deescalating techniques that most people learn naturally when they have to work with people who might have differing opinions. The only way that will change is if he gets a job. If he doesn't get a job, and she gets pregnant and becomes a hag... What a nightmare that would be... but Jesus motherfucking Christ, will it be entertaining to watch as a spectator! The nectar would flow for 18 fucking years!

Seriously though @theralph, if you genuinely want a child you can't have it living in the conditions you are capable of providing. I'm not going to give away my power level, but I am truly concerned for the life you are threatening to bring into the world, so if you want a job send me a PM and I'll get you in contact with a mechanical contractor that will hire you - they're constantly in need of people and will literally hire anyone. You would be working as a Construction Millwright - I think they might call them machinists down in 'Murica but don't quote me on that. Most of the guys smoke weed on breaks/before work, but liquor while at work is a big no-no (feel free to get trashed after work like everyone else though as long as you can still get up the next morning). You'll work with felons and Mexicans who get in arguments with their ex wives/baby mama's as they wildly swing a chainsaw around to cut up crates (might even give you a glimpse into your potential future that we've been warning you about and you'll see that we aren't JUST a-loggin' you, there's a nugget of truth in what people are saying)... It was a truly magnificent sight from my perspective though (just like this situation for the most part), I've never laughed so hard in my life as when a supervisor walked up to me and said in his thick southern accent "Hey big guy, I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything, but could you tell little buddy out there that he should calm down before he continues, I'd hate to see something happen and he gets an injury...". This contractor pretty much exclusively hires felons, it's $20/hr to start, AND you get to fly around the country and stay in nice hotels for months at a time on their dime. You just pay for meals (aside from breakfast which is usually a complementary buffet at the hotel) and you can even bring Faith if you want. It's not Killstream, but it's a REAL job that will get you the respect that you seem to crave but haven't yet done anything to earn, and it might even go a long way to getting Papa Vickers off your back. If you think you're not going anywhere with regards to Faith/the guntlet you guys want to spawn; like it or not, you'll need to PROVE your a man to Vickers (as well as Faith, she'll ABSOLUTELY leave just like Nora as soon as she grows up and realizes you're worthless) because up until now you've been acting like a man-child. I'm dead serious, send me a PM and I'll hook you up if you're willing to make some changes in your life. $20/hr isn't much, but if you put in some time after 4-5 years if you're half-decent and you don't turn down jobs when you get called, you're EASILY taking home 100k/year and you're basically working part time (but LONG physically demanding 12 hour days every day until the job is done when you are working, 0 days off for a month or two working 6am-6pm usually)

You need to understand: We are not jealous, you haven't done ANYTHING in your life to warrant the envy of anybody. Seriously, IIRC the only thing you've accomplished in your life is finishing college, and you just sat on your degree and made it worthless. Good job! /golf-clap. Sure we're all laughing at you're shitty life; and make no mistake, that is what you are living... I don't know where I was ultimately going with that statement... But if you really want to OWN THE AYLAWGS! you NEED to change. That - and only that - is what will cut off the torrent of this sweet nectar that you have been providing us . Nobody is going to attack/a-log/troll a normal contributing member of society for being a normal contributing member of society... But if you want to LARP as an alt-right, neo-nazi grifter... Welllllll... You know how it is... I'm sure this is all common sense to most of the people ITT without lolcow tendencies.

Regardless of what your future entails, thanks for all of the laughs. We're all having a blast. I'm saying this sincerely Ethan, this is fucking great entertainment, better than the KS ever was. I wish I could talk about this to people offline without getting weird looks. Seriously though, I saw it posted earlier but someone really does need to make this into a movie so everyone can enjoy the nectar. Or create a Chris-Chan style docu-series to chronicle all of the gunts arcs throughout the years. At this point, I honestly think his shenanigans trump Chris'.

Nice of you to join the party bud, but I'd suggest you try to condense your posts a bit. Unless you're dropping massive amounts of highly pertinent new information no one is going to read through skyscrapers of text.

 

[Desktop User2]

Archive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XIRqT4pI8c&ab_channel=DAKKADAKKA
https://archive.vn/wip/iTHSw
View attachment 1561979

Things always go amazing when someone tries to overextend their welcome on this IBS shit... I know it's just theater, because these shit kicking people love wrestling for some reason, but that's embarrassing.

 

[Jesus_Christ]

Nice of you to join the party bud, but I'd suggest you try to condense your posts a bit. Unless you're dropping massive amounts of highly pertinent new information no one is going to read through skyscrapers of text.

Yeah, sorry that was kind of long winded but I've been silently following this trainwreck for a few years now and had a lot to get off my chest (mostly for my own sanity). I'll make sure any future posts are more condensed

 

[MeltyTW]

I keep getting more and more angry that this cunt is convinced that a kid will be his positive legacy to the world, you want a real positive legacy @theralph ? kill yourself, its the only way you will ever leave anything positive in this world and thats only because it prevents you from doing any more harm to the people you profess to care about. The only way you could perform any action that would help the world or your potential family is to end it and preemptively end the misery you would put them through.

The best case scenario where your kid turns out ok despite your horrific lifestyle he will hate your guts. You will be a monster to him if you even long enough to meet him when he can remember your face. Dont try to leave a mark on the world. leave it skid mark free when you go. Maybe Faith can have a baby daddy who isnt constantly drunk, doesnt have a gay failing internet blackmail mafia, doesnt bring up null's penis to his lovers etc etc etc etc

oh to be clear ethan this isnt because its you its because this kid will have a shit existence for your selfish desires just like your tape and genius drunken idea ruined your girlfriend's

 

[All becomes gunt]

You guys are all assuming she knows the details of the situation. She had her phone taken away from her and whatever replacement she gets will be under ralph's control. She's also an 18 year old drama addict and excessively sneaky, so im not sure he can limit her internet consumption forever. But i doubt she will go researching her legal situation and/or reading the farms with any unmonitored time she can obtain. She's more likely to skulk around in retarded teenage social media backwaters trolling for attention from long distance boyfriends.

Alright @Kraut you are up big boy. Time for a gay op ( take notes Gator ). First of all call squad charlie delta and sigma to report to the secret discord at excactly twelve hundred hours. The mission is to create male Tilly Laws and send em to venture to the backwater social media Faith inhabits and locate the target. Then we will perform an extraction via kiwi and squire's post will be the first fuel for our helicopter. If all goes to shit send in Bravo. Overlord over and out.

 

[The Bovinian Derivative]

Alright @Kraut you are up big boy. Time for a gay op ( take notes Gator ). First of all call squad charlie delta and sigma to report to the secret discord at excactly twelve hundred hours. The mission is to create male Tilly Laws and send em to venture to the backwater social media Faith inhabits and locate the target. Then we will perform an extraction via kiwi and squire's post will be the first fuel for our helicopter. If all goes to shit send in Bravo. Overlord over and out.

Reading your post with your avatar made me imagine this as a CRP video in my head and it took me 2 minutes to read though it.

 

[ElAbominacion]

I keep getting more and more angry that this cunt is convinced that a kid will be his positive legacy to the world, you want a real positive legacy @theralph ? kill yourself, its the only way you will ever leave anything positive in this world and thats only because it prevents you from doing any more harm to the people you profess to care about. The only way you could perform any action that would help the world or your potential family is to end it and preemptively end the misery you would put them through.

The best case scenario where your kid turns out ok despite your horrific lifestyle he will hate your guts. You will be a monster to him if you even long enough to meet him when he can remember your face. Dont try to leave a mark on the world. leave it skid mark free when you go. Maybe Faith can have a baby daddy who isnt constantly drunk, doesnt have a gay failing internet blackmail mafia, doesnt bring up null's penis to his lovers etc etc etc etc

oh to be clear ethan this isnt because its you its because this kid will have a shit existence for your selfish desires just like your tape and genius drunken idea ruined your girlfriend's

That this fucker thinks he can have a child is just the ultimate joke. He's not capable of providing for himself, imagine providing for a whole family, with a dysfunctional, lying, cheating bitch for a baby mother.

 

[MeltyTW]

That this fucker thinks he can have a child is just the ultimate joke. He's not capable of providing for himself, imagine providing for a whole family, with a dysfunctional, lying, cheating bitch for a baby mother.

oh something else horrifying, they blame kids for being molested! ethan called the girls victimized in Cuties whores and sluts.