This is the story of Cora. Cora is a self centered, boring, NPC in training, and a depressing human being. The only active characters are her mother, a Disney villianess and alcoholic wreck after her husband divorced her to tell The Truth about aliens. Her father, the unholy love child made up of Julian Assange, Art Bell, and Alex Jones. Her aunt, a government spook that spent her entire career studying aliens only to have Cora learn more about them in two weeks. A collection of CIA agents that all blend together. And Ampersand, alien big wig and romantic interest. For people who think Stockholm syndrome is romantic.
Cora starts her mundane journey by having her shit car die, her mother being bitchy because she has to drive her daughter to work, and followed by some CIA goons. While at work what's believed to be a meteor rips through downtown LA and Cora skips out on her temp job because she is freaked out. No one in her office shares her fears. When she gets home her aunt is there and her mother shows up a few minutes later. Apparently the temp company that Cora and her mother work for had their contract ended because Cora left work early. Cora is also fired. The is all put on hold when the CIA guys that were following Cora that morning show and start asking about dear old Dad.
Later that night Ampersand shows up, Cora wanders out of her house to save a dog ,and Cora is implanted with a mind control and translation device. Then promptly fucks off. She calls her house only to find out the the government has taken her mother and two siblings into custody. So she calls her Aunt and arranges for a ride out of Los Angles. Somewhere in Northern California, Cora meets up with her Aunt and the people she works with. Nothing really happens for a bit so Cora fucks off and is hijacked by Ampersand.
Cora then finds herself trying to raid the Google building and she fails by being captured by a rent a cop. Things would be grim for our heroine but a mysterious EMP pulse saves the day and she has the presence of mind to run. Sadly she runs right into Ampersand who is unconscious in a panel van. Like any sane human, she hops into the van and starts driving to Nevada. At some point Ampersand wakes up and takes over her mind. In the morning Ampersand releases his hostage so that she can eat a random canned vegetables and have a meaningful mental masturbation conversation about colonialism, why vegan are awesome, feminist talking points, and random science shit because it is sci-fi after all. Skipping a bit, Ampersand orders his hostage to get a motel room and make contact with her aunt. Aunt shows up, a little bit of minor drama happens, and then Ampersand, his hostage, and the Aunt go back to California.
At Edwards Air Force Base, Ampersand and his hostage are reunited with the rest of his species that made it to Earth. It's at this point that Cora establishes herself as the mouthpiece translator for Ampersand. It got boring for a bit and I ran out of fucks to give at this point. Then military bases in California start getting hit with EMP blasts, so Ampersand, his hostage, and the rest of the aliens get shipped off to Cheyenne Mountain Air Force base. There Ampersand uses his hostage to tell various government officials (not part of the military, Ampersand hates the military) that he and his people will leave Earth soon. It's here Cora learns about the caste system Ampersand's people have, that Ampersand's government will destroy the Earth because other intelligent life is a threat, and that the Stockholm syndrome is starting to manifest an attachment to Ampersand. Then Cora's Dad leaks that George W. Bush knew about aliens and has to resign.
During the chaos and celebrations, a tablet to translate alien to English text is made, more bullshit about colonialism and feminist talking points, more about the Earth being made into a dead rock with a great view, and the budding emotional relationship between Ampersand and his hostage. Oh and there is a weird alien pod baby muguffin that plays a small role for the rest of this book. Then Ampersand's bother kicks in Cheyenne Mountain's doors and most of Ampersand and his people fuck off leaving Cora and the government to pickup the mess. The CIA has no idea what to do with Cora and the alien pod so they are kept together until someone thinks of something. The pod hatches a baby bio-mechanical alien and that's enough reason to get Cora and mecha Yoda the hell away from California.
The home stretch. Cora and mecha Yoda get sent to some state whose name I can't be bothered to care about. I'm sure it's a great state, I just sorry it got mentioned in a shitty book. Anyways, the convoy carrying Cora and mecha Yoda is hit by Ampersand's brother. To no one's surprise Cora and mecha Yoda get away before Ampersand's brother disintegrates the convoy. Being stranded Cora manages to get a hold of her Aunt and even more miraculous she was released from custody in time to give Cora and her mechanical alien thing a ride to the next plot point. With the mecha Yoda out of the picture for awhile Cora finds Ampersand and his people. Pointless bullshit happens for a bit and then Ampersand orders his hostage to fuck off. She doesn't and becomes the hostage of Ampersand's brother.
A lot of boring fuckery happens while Cora and Ampersand's people are being held hostage. Then Ampersand and mecha Yoda show up and even more fuckery happens. A fight breaks out and Cora finds a shovel and becomes Cora the destroyer. Somehow a 21 year old woman with zero experience in armed combat manages to take down an alien that has been biologically and mechanically modified to survive all manner of alien worlds and space travel. Before she can kill this alien Ampersand says no and in evil dick fashion Ampersand's brother kills mecha Yoda and mortally wounds Cora. Later Cora wakes up in hospital, her family has been released from government custody due to Dad leaking more shit. Later that night or a few nights later Ampersand shows up to reinforce his control over his hostage. The fucking end.
This is the spiritual twin to Lewis' Lightbringer . It's better written and has less rape than Lightbringer but it's still a boring and forgettable book. Cora is difficult to relate to and had several opportunities to do anything and leave the plot. About 80% of the book she just does what she's told or worries about inane shit while being a good NPC in her own story. Dialog with little connection to events unfolding at the time is repeated to add nothing to the story. The alien caste shit was confusing and boring. Forcing Bush to resign and the Bush hate in general was just petty and childish. Editing and ghostwriting, in my asshole opinion if this book was ghostwritten the little editing that was done to it was to make the writing flow and word selection feel like one person wrote it. Lastly, I love the reviews about how this book creates conversations. I can see a group of like minded sycophants sitting around discussing such intellectual topics as ' Colonialism is bad', 'Bush sucks', 'The environment is important', and 'We're a bunch of useless tits!'.
