Alright, I'm back. My last doc visit about a month ago had me at 215lbs. I'm now at 204lbs. Dunno if that's a particularly good thing as that much of a loss wasn't at all intentional.
I got a food scale and that FitnessPal app, set it for a one pound loss per week, and was genuinely surprised how much meat I could get away with. I learned that my cups are much bigger than I thought and that the amount of almond milk I was drinking was actually a shit-ton of calories. Like, hooooly shit, that was more calories right there than in my usual lunches. So I'm drinking half of that and drinking it slower. And only having one fruit cup at a time, not two. Also, dried dates have a surprising amount of calories and the serving size is only two. Two! Same with honey-roasted almonds: less than a handful?! And almond butter: two tablespoons?! That's it?! All of my snacks are actually bad for me! What the actual fuck?!
So I've been heavily restricting myself when it comes to those things. It isn't satisfying. At all. I am sad and frustrated.
I'll admit that I was an idiot and fucked myself up for a hot second: I kept eating what I usually did (sans all the milk and fruit), but forced myself to split it into three meals instead of my usual two. I regularly had 300 calories leftover every day for about a week (before adding in my exercises because I was too lazy to at the time). I figured I either had to be measuring something wrong, or that I could keep it as 'wiggle room' if I wanted to treat myself to some extra milk or fruit that day. Which I didn't, because I wanted to be a good girl.
That was a mistake, as after that week I got really shaky and spent my days off re-stabilizing my sugar. You'd think I would've learned my lesson from all the crap I went through before, but clearly I am a retard.
I now eat four times per day, using the snack section of the food diary as that fourth meal, and push myself closer to my maximum calories for the day. That, and I make sure I put my exercises in so that I can see what's actually going on. I'm feeling tons better now, aside from desperately wanting to eat all the fruit cups in my fridge and down three mugs of almond milk.
I also invested in some Propell because on top of starving I was dehydrated as fuck and regular water was making life suck. Considering how hot it got and how much I sweat, my dumb ass should've known better. Which also means that all of that weight was most likely water weight.
I'm gonna look into that keto calculator thing, plan some shit out foodwise, and go shopping on my next day off. I'm lactose intolerant and have an annoying amount of food sensitivities besides, but I'm sure I can figure something out. I'm thinking about picking up a case or two of Ensure to take to work with/as my lunch since I never have an appetite at that time and have a very, very bad habit of falling back on Sweet Hawaiian rolls and lemonade, and that's purely for the sake of keeping my sugar up. It's a horrible mindset that I'm still working to fix, and I figure it'll be easier if I have something I can replace it with. Bonus points for them being absolutely delicious.