حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Philosophy Zombie]

That sums up his writing quite nicely. It's not bad to the point of hilarity like Gloria Tesch, or Sofia Nova as she likes to call herself now, but it's not good either.

Redesigning Eva was really funny because the edginess was so over the top. My favorite scenes were the one where the school nurse asks Eva whether she'd prefer "smack or crack" and tells her to "get some dick or eat another girl out," and the one where the English teacher jerks off so long and hard that he has a heart attack and dies, in class.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Redesigning Eva was really funny because the edginess was so over the top. My favorite scenes were the one where the school nurse asks Eva whether she'd prefer "smack or crack" and tells her to "get some dick or eat another girl out," and the one where the English teacher jerks off so long and hard that he has a heart attack and dies, in class.

Is there an archive of it? It sounds hilarious in a bad way.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

Is there an archive of it? It sounds hilarious in a bad way.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/redesigning-eva-a-thriller-by-connor.3791/

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Redesigning Eva was really funny because the edginess was so over the top. My favorite scenes were the one where the school nurse asks Eva whether she'd prefer "smack or crack" and tells her to "get some dick or eat another girl out," and the one where the English teacher jerks off so long and hard that he has a heart attack and dies, in class.

The forced edge of Redesigning Eva just made me groan with how transparent the whole shtick was. It honestly felt at points that he was going for something really outrageous to show what a crapsack world it was but it still felt restrained in a way. It was like he wanted to push the envelope but couldn't figure out how to do so. So when in doubt go for sex or drugs.

It anything, his writing was boring.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

It’s hard to finish your Molly Ringwald erotica novel when you’re only using one hand.

 

[William Shatner]

Connor should unironically pursue a carrer as a film critic by getting a degree in Journalism. His reviews are decent when he's not mumbling about Molly Ringworm and he's clearly more interested in movies than he ever was in books. Besides, getting work as journalist could open doors to the film industry, the list of critics who became filmmakers isn't short.

Spoiler: Herzog's advice to Connor

 

[Picklechu]

Connor should unironically pursue a carrer as a film critic by getting a degree in Journalism. His reviews are decent when he's not mumbling about Molly Ringworm and he's clearly more interested in movies than he ever was in books. Besides, getting work as journalist could open doors to the film industry, the list of critics who became filmmakers isn't short.

Spoiler: Herzog's advice to Connor

View attachment 1560705

As soon as he finishes that associate's degree in roughly 15 years, maybe he can pursue his BA in journalism.

 

[MysticMisty]

As soon as he finishes that associate's degree in roughly 15 years, maybe he can pursue his BA in journalism.

You mean Connor didn't drop out yet?

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

You mean Connor didn't drop out yet?

Isn't he at least 25 at this point... ? I think he was 20-21 back when this thread was made, but don't quote me on that. For his own sake I hope he gets a menial job or some shit. He'll officially be a 30-year-old NEET grand wizard in no time.

 

[Picklechu]

You mean Connor didn't drop out yet?

You know, I actually don't know. Connor is very stupid, so it wouldn't surprise me if he dropped out after deciding that he'd rather spend all of his time masturbating while thinking about Molly Ringwald's belly button.

Then again, would mommy and daddy let him drop out after the money they've put into his education so far? Or has it been Connor's own tardbux that they've put towards his education?

 

[Ryker]

Ah, Connor! I remember this fellow. His insane sexual yearnings for Molly Ringwald, his extreme and brutally odd hatred of adoption, his completely unwarranted self-importance, his bizarre belief in his capacity as a "future best selling author". It all floods back. Those wonderful phases of his, spinning endlessly between hatred for us, acknowledging our attempts to try and help him, back to edgy internet hard-man...Good times.

I still recall a group of users who either actively pursued careers in writing and publishing, and some very talented amateurs in addition, all offering to help Connor with his writing dream. Seriously, a group of people already active in the industry of the written word offering 100% help and commitment for free and Connor was too stupid, lazy, opinionated, and self satisfied to avail himself of the opportunity.

It said a lot about the Kiwi community ~ and it said a lot about Connor.

Never change, Connor. You gormless 'tard!

 

[crayolasword]

He’s on a roll..
.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

I only just actually looked at the picture in his Twitter background.

Congrats on your inability to use a camera @Connor Bible

 

[Picklechu]

I only just actually looked at the picture in his Twitter background.

View attachment 1572555

Congrats on your inability to use a camera @Connor Bible

Holy shit, Connor accomplished something. I mean, an AA is generally useless, especially if one isn't going to complete a bachelor's degree, but still.

Has he sperged about classes or studying or anything recently? If so, he's probably attending the University of South Carolina Beaufort. If he isn't, I wonder what he actually does all day? (Jk, we all know he "writes," watches movies, and masturbates.)

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

Has he sperged about classes or studying or anything recently?

No, not on his Twitter.

I could check his Stephen King or other forums activity, if there is still any, anyway. I assumed there isn't because Smutley used to always be the one who kept the thread posted on that, but he's been gone for years. I guess it's just me now keeping any tabs on his activity. This feels weird.

I doubt he's doing anything except writing.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

As it happens, he has. I'm a bit surprised, although I probably shouldn't be. He's been under the radar for god knows how long. I haven't forgotten him mostly because my brain is stuck in 2016 and I don't have the ambition to learn about whatever new lolcows have popped up in the last four fucking years. Fortunately for him my autism knows no bounds and I'll probably stalk him until he dies.

Spoiler: boring

He seems to be playing the "recovery story" angle. All bets are off on how true this actually is considering how many times he's told us the same bullshit story.

Grandma died.

He's claiming he's reading a book. Good one.

I think he has some other forums he uses. I'll bump the thread again once I've sifted through that.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Six years to get a two year degree AND he's getting his first real job afterwards? There's slacking and then there's Connor.

I could understand taking three or four years, especially if you're doing it part-time because you're working, but how the fuck do you take six whole years to get an Associates degree when you're not actually doing anything else? People have gotten their Masters in that time and that includes the time necessary to get your Bachelors.

 

[Maurice Caine]

Six years to get a two year degree AND he's getting his first real job afterwards? There's slacking and then there's Connor.

I could understand taking three or four years, especially if you're doing it part-time because you're working, but how the fuck do you take six whole years to get an Associates degree when you're not actually doing anything else? People have gotten their Masters in that time and that includes the time necessary to get your Bachelors.

At least the poor sod accomplished something in his life.

 

[Picklechu]

Six years to get a two year degree AND he's getting his first real job afterwards? There's slacking and then there's Connor.

I could understand taking three or four years, especially if you're doing it part-time because you're working, but how the fuck do you take six whole years to get an Associates degree when you're not actually doing anything else? People have gotten their Masters in that time and that includes the time necessary to get your Bachelors.

Chris also got his associate's degree in six years, although he technically took five years because he was suspended for a year. Once again, Chris > Connor.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

"There are sticky, lint like objects in the area of my groin, and near the perineum. They smell like death. In fact, that is what my groin smells like, even after applying Gold Bond and Lotrimin and taking a long bath."

Finally, I have answers.