The most interesting part of this video for me is when,
apropos of absolutely nothing at all, she brings up Bibi. She is at her best here.
One thing I love about her are her gestures and facial expressions. They are very studied and rehearsed, and she uses the same ones over and over. When she is being honest, she doesn't use many of her rehearsed moves, but when she is being evasive, she will run through multiple series of these rehearsed moves, which is exactly what she does here. This is very familiar behavior; it is extraordinarily consistent with her.
She starts around 10:50, with a dismissive sweep of her hand that is supposed to signify "oh, yes. This is so beneath me that I almost forgot all about it, but I guess I will address you knuckleheads" Many of her canned hand gestures and facial expressions are meant to tacitly express entire mouthfuls like that. She also furrows her brow, which adds to the "oh yeah, I just remembered this trifling thing, it is coming back to me now..."
Exaggerated wave of her paw and wrinkled brow signifies something not-important will be addressed.
"I've been getting so many questions about..."
She pauses here for one of her other trademark facial gestures (and one she ought to lose, but I'm glad she keeps it). You know the look I mean, it looks like this:
Tongue behind teeth and face-screw signifies she almost forgets what it was, it was such a trivial matter...
This charming expression, in which she tongues out food debris from behind her teeth and looks like an absolute fucking short buser doing so, is used to draw out the sentence and show that she has to think really hard to even remember what those pesky questions even
were, they mean so little to her...
"...what
happened on
Saturday", she finally blurts in an irritated voice, shaking her head like she's just disgusted with
our stupidity. Have there really been so many questions? I didn't see more than a handful, and they were almost all from her dingbat fans, just making little friendly jokes. So while this rehearsed act of faux-improvisation is meant to convince us that she has not been thinking about it at all and barely even remembered the questions, it is just an act. She kinda inadvertently reveals her hand right here, actually.
"when I went over to to the old apartment to see Bibi...", she said grumpily, in that unmodulated voice, shoving an onion ring into her mouth for punctuation.
"And I am surprised by the questions because I thought.." she said, the unmodulated voice cracking shrilly, her brow furrowing again to show how confused she is that any rational person would even ask.
Pursed lips and furrowed brow signify absolute bafflement that anyone would even ask about Bibi
Her eyes dart a little and she continues, somewhat peeved, "I explained in my vlog that..."
A very long pause follows...she may just be experiencing heartburn at this moment, but she is probably fumbling for words in that barren brain of hers; just like when she tries to describe the flavor of food. She needs to think before completing any sentence, but here she needs to think it through because she needs to show us that we are idiots and she isn't still thinking of Bibi...
This thoughtful face is used as a holding pattern, while she searches for how to 'splain this...
Considerable time passes as she munches a cheese popper, deep in thought, her sentence dangling in the wind. She glances over to Peetz' food.
Then, she's got it! She has figured out what she had so clearly said in her vlog and is now ready to tell us!! She signals this with a decisive nod of the head and she shoots her pinkie out at the audience. Here it comes, ladies and gents, the rest of the sentence...
Pinkie jab and decisive head nod signal that she's now got it, and will now complete her sentence.
No, wait!! She delays finishing her sentence again, and even turns to Peetz as if she is waiting for him to explain it all to the audience for her. Peetz, just sits there, shoulders hunched. No help there, Clotso...
You'll get me out of this, right, Peetz?
"...went there for dinner", she abruptly continues...jabbing with that pinkie for emphasis. She then eats a popper, licks her fingers, shakes her head and waves her hand in the air dismissively again, as if to signify, "this, obviously, ought to be all that need be said there, and why I even have to address it because it is already in an old vlog is beyond me"
Another dismissive wave of that fat mitt signifies that this all ought to go without saying.
She shakes her head, chewing, wiping the tips of her fingers on the greasy burger wrapper. She picks up an empty french fry wrapper for no reason, and sets it back down to the side. She avoids eye contact and says in a brittle voice, "got some stuff, watched a couple of videos, and left." It is interesting that she is unable to make eye contact even with a camera when lying. Somehow, I doubt she watched videos there or had dinner there. I do believe she got stuff and left. I am always amused that no matter how rehearsed her facial expressions and hand gestures are, her fat, deceitful face will always give her away in the end.
Her eyes remain completely averted from the camera during the last part of the sentence, suggesting deceit.
She then waves a french fry in a gesture of "it was nothing" And seeks confirmation from Peetz, flashing him another look. "I wasn't home late, eh?" she asks casually, shrugging. "No", answers puppet Peetz in his usual monotone. This of course is a deflection morons do. It does not address the question or anything really, it merely diverts from it. However it is meant as supporting evidence that meeting Bibi was no big deal for her.
Casual wave of a french fry signifies that she is utterly unconcerned with the whole thing, and it is all no big deal
"Nothing happened!" she says, still talking noticeably more loudly and shrilly than normal, making eye contact with the camera again, jabbing with her finger and shaking her head. Nothing to see here, folks.
"And I stayed home and watched Star Trek IV...The Journey Home", offers Peetz, pretty much sealing the story of...what exactly? What did the questions about Bibi ask? They remain unknown. What are the answers to those questions? They remain unknown.
Chantal gives a deep nod in agreement with Peetz, which signals that all proof has been submitted and Peetz is absolutely right! That settles the question of Bibi once and for all!
This deep, exaggerated nod signifies that Peetz did indeed watch Star Trek IV last night, which ought to settle the question of Bibi forever!!
However, after sperging about Star Trek for a moment, she has to make sure the case is closed, so she gives yet another emphatic sweep of her hand, shakes her head and averts her gaze again. "But yeah...nothing
happened. I mean...we're [sic] broke up...we've broken up...so...
Averted eyes and another sweep of the hand means she is really, really done with the topic now.
"Were friends...just like...", she shrugs and gestures toward Peetz with a french fry, "just like Peetz and I are friends...." Again, she needs Peetz' confirmation, so she sticks the fry into her gaping yob and asks, "Right Peetz?" "Yup" he replies without looking up from his Twitter feed, before she finishes getting the question out. "But..." she says, shaking the fry in her fist"... "I'm closer to Peetz, obviously!" she says, adding a gratuitous "obviously" You guys are dum dums for thinking she isn't closer to Peetz, which again wasn't the question...
The funny thing is she seems to be trying to quiet down suspicions that she and Bibi had a sex romp in the apartment, which is something absolutely
nobody thought happened.
She is such a klutz, even with the facial expressions and hand gestures she has spent a lifetime trying to perfect. It is so easy to read right through her...