Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[AbraCadaver]

So is lucas dead or what

 

[Wernology]

So is lucas dead or what

Probably just broke/lost/had his phone stolen again.

Because I'm spiteful and that one commenter creeped me out with their repeated requests to see the full versions of Lucas fondling his titties, I went through both channels, made a compilation of most of the shirtless videos, downloaded them, and have to upload them in parts because my phone's stock editor is like "No more than 60 video clips at a time, wtf are you even DOING?"

There were 200 videos that I could easily find of him shirtless (in some he has an open shirt, but I stopped counting those after about four or so). Since 200 doesn't divide into 60 evenly, y'all are getting 3 long (about an hour and thirty-ish minutes) horrorshows of shirtless Lucas and one shorter horrorshow of shirtless Lucas, assuming my phone doesn't explode in the process.

Rachel F, I hope you get all the Lucas tiddy you can handle for the barrage of variants of this comment that were deleted as soon as they were posted (but still showed in my comments.)
Calm your own titties, you'll get Lucas' eventually.

Edit: These are all still processing but, once they finish, the embeds will work. I hope you're fucking satisfied Rachel F. Also there's more vintage shirtless Wern bitching about Walter scattered throughout.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Probably just broke/lost/had his phone stolen again.

Because I'm spiteful and that one commenter creeped me out with their repeated requests to see the full versions of Lucas fondling his titties, I went through both channels, made a compilation of most of the shirtless videos, downloaded them, and have to upload them in parts because my phone's stock editor is like "No more than 60 video clips at a time, wtf are you even DOING?"

There were 200 videos that I could easily find of him shirtless (in some he has an open shirt, but I stopped counting those after about four or so). Since 200 doesn't divide into 60 evenly, y'all are getting 3 long (about an hour and thirty-ish minutes) horrorshows of shirtless Lucas and one shorter horrorshow of shirtless Lucas, assuming my phone doesn't explode in the process.

Rachel F, I hope you get all the Lucas tiddy you can handle for the barrage of variants of this comment that were deleted as soon as they were posted (but still showed in my comments.)
Calm your own titties, you'll get Lucas' eventually.
View attachment 1581129

Someone wanting to see the minutae of Lucas touching his own udders is...almost more horrifying than Lucas himself.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Someone wanting to see the minutae of Lucas touching his own udders is...almost more horrifying than Lucas himself.

Come on, @AbraCadaver , you know The Wern's milkshake brings all the kiwis to the yard

 

[WonderWino]

I completed agree. Medicated Lucas is super cringe but he’s a lot less annoying without the false bravado and confidence. It’s a strange bell curve of diminishing return on confidence. In general, confidence is attractive to people romantically, platonically, and professionally. Lucas has been told this and has adopted this super confident persona of bragodocio and arrogance that are utterly repellant. In the medicated videos, his vulnerability is comparatively appealing (not romantically as much as in the sense of humanity and empathy). I think Lucas would be more successful in dating were he medicated (not shocking, most people are) as he would at least have the small chance of finding someone with a bleeding heart for trainwrecks. I think that’s how he got Suzanne.

my guess is that the very aspects of his medicated personality that are appealing to others (calmness, humility, desperation) are the very reasons he refuses medication. I think he probably doesn’t like the feeling of being calm but depressed and having realistic awareness of his lack of appeal to women.

The thing is we've seen lucas medicated, even when doped to the gills he still fixates and obsesses over the same creepy stuff. He just isn't able to scream like loon about it in the streets. Instead you get the quieter obsession, the crazy facial expressions, the crazy notes and the more subdued level of crazy. But its still all hyper focused on his pedo breeding obsessions. Suzanne was his one and only woman and even she only got involved with him because she clearly has problems of her own and was desperate. Likely not particularly bright either. Point being she was a lucky fluke that isn't likely to be repeated no matter what lucas does. and even if he did somehow manage to get that lucky again, its only a matter of time before she would find out about his history and no sane woman would want to be anywhere near after finding out anything his past

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Rachel F, I hope you get all the Lucas tiddy you can handle for the barrage of variants of this comment that were deleted as soon as they were posted (but still showed in my comments.)
Calm your own titties, you'll get Lucas' eventually.
View attachment 1581129

Not to ruin your fun, but I think you went through all that compiling for no reason.

as someone who spends way too much time on YouTube, I’m guessing that it was one comment that Rachel F was trying to add while in shitty coverage. I’ve had times when I comment and it creates 15-20 duplicate same comments and other times when it goes through once but looks like it hasn’t. It often happens when I’m on shit WiFi but sometimes it happens when I’m on Ethernet.

alternatively, I’ve had multiple duplicates replies to comments and I see them on notifications but none appear. At all. It’s happened two or three times—enough to know that it ain’t someone replying and deleting and then replying and deleting over and over again. I assume the person is either struggling with bad WiFi or it’s a YouTube issue.

Plus, the question is if your formatting was messed up; I don’t see where anyone asked to see tatas. I wondered myself if that video was the same one where he tweaked his nips because I was wondering if I had imagined it (shudder). I definitely didn’t want to see it...

 

[Fapcop]

Could we see some clips of medicated and doped up Lucas please?

 

[Wernology]

Not to ruin your fun, but I think you went through all that compiling for no reason.

as someone who spends way too much time on YouTube, I’m guessing that it was one comment that Rachel F was trying to add while in shitty coverage. I’ve had times when I comment and it creates 15-20 duplicate same comments and other times when it goes through once but looks like it hasn’t. It often happens when I’m on shit WiFi but sometimes it happens when I’m on Ethernet.

alternatively, I’ve had multiple duplicates replies to comments and I see them on notifications but none appear. At all. It’s happened two or three times—enough to know that it ain’t someone replying and deleting and then replying and deleting over and over again. I assume the person is either struggling with bad WiFi or it’s a YouTube issue.

Plus, the question is if your formatting was messed up; I don’t see where anyone asked to see tatas. I wondered myself if that video was the same one where he tweaked his nips because I was wondering if I had imagined it (shudder). I definitely didn’t want to see it...

1. I disagree on that 'for nothing' point.
I had fun doing it.
Horrified fun as I realized he had about 200 videos where he was shirtless or mostly shirtless, just on youtube alone. I know he's got more but they're buried in the IG video compilations I've uploaded and I didn't feel like scouring those. These were all readily available and usually done in batches throughout the same day so it wasn't too hard to tap on them to select them then tap the download icon.

And honestly, it didn't really take all that long; what takes time, and it's time I don't have to stick around and do anything, is rendering the video, uploading it, then waiting for Youtube to process it. The last three things I don't have to babysit or do anything manually apart from start the process. It honestly takes me so little time because I don't do much for editing; the phone has a thing to tap between videos that puts auto-transitions in and while I can edit individual videos on the phone, the only time I do is if his dumb ass was recording people who weren't aware of it (like those 'done in HoC's shower area videos or the couple of videos with Isaac where it wasn't clear that Isaac knew those recordings were going to be posted online).

I'm not aiming for a Youtube career so I don't give too many fucks about good editing, especially considering what it is I'm uploading; while you can polish a turd as shown by mythbusters and various etsy shops that sell polished poop balls for some reason, in the end I'd still just have a turd that I'd also spent time trying to polish.

2. She was posting and deleting the comments within seconds. They showed in my notifications and every time I went to answer her the comment was already gone. Her responses were different enough every time and spaced far enough apart that it was just funny to me that someone went from asking about the formatting to all but ask to see the full version where Lucas squeezed his titty for the camera.
It just came off as weirdly comical to me after so many.
They weren't in held for review (which I have to unfortunately do as I've had people try to dox his family in comments before) or in "likely to be spam" they were under published reviews that I could see in Studio and in the app, the latter indicates she was posting and deleting at least a few times.
The screenshotted one was the only one I had left after earlier clearing of notifications; I didn't think to screenshot the other one because I didn't honestly think anyone would ask about "WHERE LUCAS TITTY?" again.

Either way she's got her Lucas Titty Play now and the rest of the Internet can suffer with 4 hours of shirtless Lucas all at once. I feel like I should offer those compilations to be played in rooms trying to get prisoners to confess. Full screen, wall sized shirtless Lucas at full volume would make anyone beg for it to stop.

Also, just because they uploaded out of order on the channel because size, internet, and the fact that I uploaded all four at once because I wanted to go to bed, here they are on a playlist in order. All the shirtless creep one could ever want!

Sadly, you didn't imagine that specific video. I think he titled it "Another Good Reason to Date Me" on his actual channel and it is buried in one of those compilations somewhere. Somehow, him squeezing his mantit and saying, "Do the ladies like...milkshakes?" is one of his creepiest videos, only the ones where he talks about how sexy his niece and 16 year olds are eclipse it. It's clearly supposed to be a joke video but it's more, "...oh god, why?" than it is funny.

Here you go, just so you can be sure it wasn't a horrible fever dream:

As for formatting, I finally found a decent phone app to grab youtube videos so I don't have to bother with the free nonsense I was using on my computers; that one couldn't seem to cope with youtube shot in portrait mode and would try to redo it to cinematic, but was bad at it, and ended up doing weird close ups no matter what resolution was chosen or if you told it to just use it as it was shot. Get what you pay for, I guess.
The only upside for the weird formatting is that it makes it easier to call it "art" or "parody" or some other dumb shit if youtube ever gets on my ass about reuploading his content.

 

[Amewsed]

Could we see some clips of medicated and doped up Lucas please?

I for one would like to request his narration of the clock punk phenomenon known as Wound be made into one easily accessible mst3k treatment worthy video.

 

[WonderWino]

I for one would like to request his narration of the clock punk phenomenon known as Wound be made into one easily accessible mst3k treatment worthy video.

.....if this is done it really needs to be edited to be like this:

Except with lucas, his catfish, clips of a psych ward, screaming on the streets, telomeres and wound

It would be a true masterpiece of wernology

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

When does Fatty get his government cheese check? And who was our kiwi who was a voice on the ground, had access to the intake rolls at H O C?
Do we have any evidence that El blobbo isn't dead?

 

[Trainwreck]

When does Fatty get his government cheese check? And who was our kiwi who was a voice on the ground, had access to the intake rolls at H O C?
Do we have any evidence that El blobbo isn't dead?

That would be @Nobleman. I've been keeping an eye out for the fat, retarded piece of shit, but I haven't seen him at all. I don't remember what Lucas' actual birth date is but here is the pay schedule for SSD: If the birth date of the person upon whom the benefits are based falls between the 1st and 10th days of the month, then benefits will be paid on the second Wednesday of the month. If that birthday falls between the 11th and the 20th, benefits will be paid on the third Wednesday of the month. And finally, if that birthday falls between the 21st and the 31st of the month, benefits will be paid on the fourth Wednesday of the month.

 

[wenttobermuda]

That would be @Nobleman. I've been keeping an eye out for the fat, retarded piece of shit, but I haven't seen him at all. I don't remember what Lucas' actual birth date is but here is the pay schedule for SSD: If the birth date of the person upon whom the benefits are based falls between the 1st and 10th days of the month, then benefits will be paid on the second Wednesday of the month. If that birthday falls between the 11th and the 20th, benefits will be paid on the third Wednesday of the month. And finally, if that birthday falls between the 21st and the 31st of the month, benefits will be paid on the fourth Wednesday of the month.

He was born on the 27th. That means benefits on the 4th Wednesday of the month. That'll be a little while.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Come on, @AbraCadaver , you know The Wern's milkshake brings all the kiwis to the yard

Right, well that’s me just died a little inside, thanks.

 

[mothman96]

When does Fatty get his government cheese check? And who was our kiwi who was a voice on the ground, had access to the intake rolls at H O C?
Do we have any evidence that El blobbo isn't dead?

That would be @Nobleman. I've been keeping an eye out for the fat, retarded piece of shit, but I haven't seen him at all. I don't remember what Lucas' actual birth date is but here is the pay schedule for SSD: If the birth date of the person upon whom the benefits are based falls between the 1st and 10th days of the month, then benefits will be paid on the second Wednesday of the month. If that birthday falls between the 11th and the 20th, benefits will be paid on the third Wednesday of the month. And finally, if that birthday falls between the 21st and the 31st of the month, benefits will be paid on the fourth Wednesday of the month.

He was born on the 27th. That means benefits on the 4th Wednesday of the month. That'll be a little while.

Lucas didn't worked long enough to qualify for Social Security Disability. He is getting SSI. SSI is payed on the 1st of each month. In the case the 1st falls on a weekend, SSI is paid on the friday before.

 

[Trainwreck]

Lucas didn't worked long enough to qualify for Social Security Disability. He is getting SSI. SSI is payed on the 1st of each month. In the case the 1st falls on a weekend, SSI is paid on the friday before.

So then this calendar is wrong? I thought because it said SSI at the bottom it would still qualify because he is only receiving SSI and not SS as well.

https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10031-2020.pdf

 

[mothman96]

So then this calendar is wrong? I thought because it said SSI at the bottom it would still qualify because he is only receiving SSI and not SS as well.

https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10031-2020.pdf

Look at the tan circle in the calendar. Aug. 1st fell on Sat, so his SSI was payed on Friday July 31. For Sept, the payment is on Tues. the 1st. For Oct it will be on Thursday the 1st.

ETA:
Since Nov. 1st falls on a Sunday, he will get his Nov SSI on Fri. Oct 30.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

So then this calendar is wrong? I thought because it said SSI at the bottom it would still qualify because he is only receiving SSI and not SS as well.

https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10031-2020.pdf

Myself and everyone I know gets their SSI on the 1st, or the last weekday before the 1st. I've posted this before and I don't know if other states and areas are different.

 

[Da Dude123]

This gonna be a long month if Tubby has lost his phone. Someone in Spokane usually spots him shuffling around downtown or at the mall, creeping around. If he is dead somewhere no one will report him missing, well maybe his PO can put out an arrest warrant for him. Besides that, no one will report him missing at all. I am not sure if his social workers would actually file a missing persons report. I know the shelters wouldn't. He most likely is phoneless and someone will see him somewhere. We haven't heard from @Nobleman in a while. Hopefully, he hasn't flown to close to the sun with what he has told us.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

This gonna be a long month if Tubby has lost his phone. Someone in Spokane usually spots him shuffling around downtown or at the mall, creeping around. If he is dead somewhere no one will report him missing, well maybe his PO can put out an arrest warrant for him. Besides that, no one will report him missing at all. I am not sure if his social workers would actually file a missing persons report. I know the shelters wouldn't. He most likely is phoneless and someone will see him somewhere. We haven't heard from @Nobleman in a while. Hopefully, he hasn't flown to close to the sun with what he has told us.

If Lucas is dead, I hope his corpse is making that face from your user icon.