DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Schmeckel]

Rare sight of Phil's hands working the controller:

View attachment 1585305

Spoiler: THIS IS HOW I PLAY THE GAME!

God, this is depressing. I haven't played a Tony Hawk game since THPS2, but someone without both arms and one leg could play ANY of these games better than Phil. I know that there are times that you'll wipe out because you over/under rotate on something, there will be times the physics are wonky and you don't catch a rail for a grind *just* right. But to see a real full-blooded-ItalianbywayofPoland gamer fail to do a goddamn ollie is a complete travesty. And he blames the game, not his mashing of buttons.

When he has the controller in frame, he looks like he's one of those people in a TV show having to pretend to play a video game while on camera: mashing thumbs everywhere so it sounds like they're actually playing a game. The scene in 40 Year Old Virgin (oddly fitting, cause I don't think Phil has had pussy since pussy had him) where Seth Rogan and Ant-Man are playing Mortal Kombat exemplifies this to a T. All you hear is click-clack-click to infinity, which is how Phil sounds when he's playing anything.

Reminds me of having a younger brother who wanted to play games with me, and I gave him an unplugged controller and told him he was TOTALLY being second player. Mash mash mash....

 

[clownpiss]

God, this is depressing. I haven't played a Tony Hawk game since THPS2, but someone without both arms and one leg could play ANY of these games better than Phil. I know that there are times that you'll wipe out because you over/under rotate on something, there will be times the physics are wonky and you don't catch a rail for a grind *just* right. But to see a real full-blooded-ItalianbywayofPoland gamer fail to do a goddamn ollie is a complete travesty. And he blames the game, not his mashing of buttons.

When he has the controller in frame, he looks like he's one of those people in a TV show having to pretend to play a video game while on camera: mashing thumbs everywhere so it sounds like they're actually playing a game. The scene in 40 Year Old Virgin (oddly fitting, cause I don't think Phil has had pussy since pussy had him) where Seth Rogan and Ant-Man are playing Mortal Kombat exemplifies this to a T. All you hear is click-clack-click to infinity, which is how Phil sounds when he's playing anything.

Reminds me of having a younger brother who wanted to play games with me, and I gave him an unplugged controller and told him he was TOTALLY being second player. Mash mash mash....

it's okay to be bad at something if you try to learn, especially if it's your job. it's the complete lack of will/desire to improve at all and the constant "I CANT DO IT" "I SUCK". everything that isn't immediately evident is a fucking puzzle, also "HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW???"

did he forget games are trial and error and something you learn along the way and thats the whole fun of it? if it's not something hes familiar with or something he can easily do its too much effort for him. he wants to collect $100 a stream and watch cut scenes.

I think the most annoying part of him playing thps isn't just what was mentioned but the fact that the game has a lot of intuitiveness that don't require you to be a pro fucking skateboarder (as he implies) to see. he's so fucking dense he somehow cant understand how basic gravity, inertia, momentum, and physics work

 

[Schmeckel]

it's okay to be bad at something if you try to learn, especially if it's your job. it's the complete lack of will/desire to improve at all and the constant "I CANT DO IT" "I SUCK". everything that isn't immediately evident is a fucking puzzle, also "HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW???"

did he forget games are trial and error and something you learn along the way and thats the whole fun of it? if it's not something hes familiar with or something he can easily do its too much effort for him. he wants to collect $100 a stream and watch cut scenes.

I think the most annoying part of him playing thps isn't just what was mentioned but the fact that the game has a lot of intuitiveness that don't require you to be a pro fucking skateboarder (as he implies) to see. he's so fucking dense he somehow cant understand how basic gravity, inertia, momentum, and physics work

It's one of those games that his chat cant hold his hand all the way through.

 

[Draventren]

it's okay to be bad at something if you try to learn, especially if it's your job. it's the complete lack of will/desire to improve at all and the constant "I CANT DO IT" "I SUCK". everything that isn't immediately evident is a fucking puzzle, also "HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW???"

did he forget games are trial and error and something you learn along the way and thats the whole fun of it? if it's not something hes familiar with or something he can easily do its too much effort for him. he wants to collect $100 a stream and watch cut scenes.

I think the most annoying part of him playing thps isn't just what was mentioned but the fact that the game has a lot of intuitiveness that don't require you to be a pro fucking skateboarder (as he implies) to see. he's so fucking dense he somehow cant understand how basic gravity, inertia, momentum, and physics work

Being able to admit you aren't good at something and that you need to and want to learn is an extremely mature, and humbling thing to be able to admit. It's a blow to your pride and can make you feel useless.

So no, Phil will never be able to acknowledge that about anything ever.

 

[Brother Wind]

It's one of those games that his chat cant hold his hand all the way through.

The best games for him to play. It feels like its been too damn long. Maybe games are getting too easy

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

Rare sight of Phil's hands working the controller:

View attachment 1585305

Spoiler: THIS IS HOW I PLAY THE GAME!

"WHUT?!?!?!?"
"Dood I'm pressing buttons!" *Holds controller up to camera*
"It said it didn't count!"
"I didn't do that!"
*Obnoxious contemptuous laughter when he fails*
Holy shit, this is the most classic DSP playthrough we've had in a long time. And now with the Vest Streak gone, there's no nu-Phil bullshit of faking pahsitivity and constant e-begging. Finally a new TiHYDP worth recommending. Hopefully now the "ironic" trolls of late can get a taste of the real premium Phil content, when the bitter hermit crab isn't being fed a safe income.

 

[Forbidden Math]

he wants to collect $100 a stream and watch cut scenes.

And this is why he LOVES David Cage games.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

If Wings gets the amount of chargebacks he claims and still has a paypal account, then Darksy's account should be fine.

I do remember there being a $25 fee for chargebacks that were waived during the pandemic but I could be wrong. @LyteSydeByll do you have any info related to the $25 fee for chargebacks? Is it $25 per chargeback?

Wings is at least smart enough to save some money and keep his Paypal full so it doesn't get into negatives, though.

 

[leChinkyRaccoon]

When Phil knew everything about cuties because it won something at Cannes or some other fancy film festival and not what literally everyone was saying about it.
But now he saw some content warnings and can admit that he doesn't have netflix.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

When Phil knew everything about cuties because it won something at Cannes or some other fancy film festival and not what literally everyone was saying about it.
But now he saw some content warnings and can admit that he doesn't have netflix.

"It's rare that I do a 180 on anything this quickly"
More like it's rare that you do it at all, Phil. Lack of self-awareness strikes again.
So are you gonna apologize to Memology now, or...?

 

[Pargon]

When Phil knew everything about cuties because it won something at Cannes or some other fancy film festival and not what literally everyone was saying about it.
But now he saw some content warnings and can admit that he doesn't have netflix.

Thank God for this, the take of the World's Most Cultured Man. Finally, I can sleep.

 

[Near]

$50 to put on the glasses
$100 to put on the vest
$200 to spin in the seat

$2000 to suckstart a shotgun

God knows he needs that money

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Phil rarely does a 180 on anything...
(I'm going to paraphrase because I don't have hours to find all the actual quotes)

"Twitch is all about bits subs and tips. It's a site for cam girls. Real gamers don't use Twitch"

"Pointing a camcorder at the television is superior to direct capture"

"Only children play minecraft"

"I don't have money to buy a cat"

"I don't have money to get married"

"My girlfriend is in the hospital"

"I would pimp slap that girl in real life"

"You are permanently banned and will never be allowed back"

"I no longer eat fast food"

"I no longer eat red meat"

"I opened the door too hard and put a hole in the wall"

"Kat will be in my new videos"

The list goes on and on. The only time Phil is unable to do a 180 is when he plays Tony Hawk.

 

[leChinkyRaccoon]

Phil rarely does a 180 on anything...
(I'm going to paraphrase because I don't have hours to find all the actual quotes)

"Twitch is all about bits subs and tips. It's a site for cam girls. Real gamers don't use Twitch"

"Pointing a camcorder at the television is superior to direct capture"

"Only children play minecraft"

"I don't have money to buy a cat"

"I don't have money to get married"

"My girlfriend is in the hospital"

"I would pimp slap that girl in real life"

"You are permanently banned and will never be allowed back"

"I no longer eat fast food"

"I no longer eat red meat"

"I opened the door too hard and put a hole in the wall"

"Kat will be in my new videos"

The list goes on and on. The only time Phil is unable to do a 180 is when he plays Tony Hawk.

180? I don't know skater lingo I was busy playing street fighter, never got into that.

 

[ANDS!]

So this "vest streak" is literally him wearing a vest? That's it? Is it a challenge because it is summer and might be warm. I don't get it. If it is literally just putting a piece of clothing on. . .I dunno. No one can be THAT uncreative. I also saw a video where he's blowing bubbles now. Like. . .it's almost a top-level high-meta parody of streamers and we just haven't gotten the joke yet.

 

[King of Not Playing Games]

The challenge is he's betting you can't give him a hundred dollars.

EDIT: It's so fucking telling that nothing about any of this has anything to do with his gameplay. It's the gameplay that sucks! Why does he think more people turn out for his drama shtreems and pre-shtreems than him actually playing a game? It's because he sucks at playing games and the TIHYDP beat him down so thoroughly that he actively strives to make every playthrough as boring and monotonous as possible. It's like... it's like these are the sorts of things that would distract *him*, so he thinks that works on everyone else. No one is distracted by a 38 year old man spinning in a chair, or blowing bubbles, or that fucking pathetic giddy excitement when his eyes light up and he sees he's reached the tip goal and waltzes off to put on the dress... I mean vest.

Does he even knows what draws people's attention anymore? And even worse, if him and Kat are watching other, more popular streamers on Twitch, and this is what they came up with, how fucking retarded are they combined?

 

[LyteSydeByll]

DSP would be complaining about being in the negative. But the chargebacks came before he emptied his PayPal so they took the money from yesterday and used it to pay back the disputed charges he lost. Fucking kek.

THIS is why he pays that 1% transfer fee. He tries to rip that money out as fast as possible to avoid this EXACT scenario from happening and still got fucked.

 

[Iroquois Pliskin]

So this "vest streak" is literally him wearing a vest? That's it? Is it a challenge because it is summer and might be warm. I don't get it. If it is literally just putting a piece of clothing on. . .I dunno. No one can be THAT uncreative. I also saw a video where he's blowing bubbles now. Like. . .it's almost a top-level high-meta parody of streamers and we just haven't gotten the joke yet.

And he has a gay ops sect of toe suckers that queue up to send him hundreds of dollars everyday because of it. Lunacy.

 

[Si vis pacem para bellum]

DSP would be complaining about being in the negative. But the chargebacks came before he emptied his PayPal so they took the money from yesterday and used it to pay back the disputed charges he lost. Fucking kek.

THIS is why he pays that 1% transfer fee. He tries to rip that money out as fast as possible to avoid this EXACT scenario from happening and still got fucked.

The penultimate retard strategy, to try to avoid them taking what they are going to take. It's better to PLAN for stupid shit like this that is predictable than to try to scam a giant corporation for it. I hope this hot strat pays off with a paypal ban, then we get subs and bits begging that will inevitably have the salt again on the regular...I am starting to miss the pubg streams where he would shove his foot in his own mouth on the regular.

 

[Iron Hamster]

DSP would be complaining about being in the negative. But the chargebacks came before he emptied his PayPal so they took the money from yesterday and used it to pay back the disputed charges he lost. Fucking kek.

THIS is why he pays that 1% transfer fee. He tries to rip that money out as fast as possible to avoid this EXACT scenario from happening and still got fucked.

He can't be surprised. He read the terms of service I posted about it the other day.