🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

[Captain Manning]

A small, furry humanoid that eats trash and cats and ignores all social norms... By god it all makes sense now Ralf is just trying to make it back to Melmac.
View attachment 1602793

Posts like these are why I love the Farms.

Over here we've got creativity galore, and message decryption that would shame the NSA.

Over there, they still think owning Mundane Matt is funny two years after the fact.

 

[Glade Candles]

I've reuploaded a stream from 2015 w/ the title "Ralph Loses All His Spaghetti." In it we can see Ralph drunk, high, unable to take a joke or understand sarcasm, and immediately jumps down the throats of his friends who are actively trying to help or defend him.

Same shit, different decade.

I'll be premiering it tonight at 8 PM EST.

https://youtube.com/channel/UCLCQt5FWLF4onZ8_afM20Aw

 

[High Tea]

I've reuploaded a stream from 2015 w/ the title "Ralph Loses All His Spaghetti." In it we can see Ralph drunk, high, unable to take a joke or understand sarcasm, and immediately jumps down the throats of his friends who are actively trying to help or defend him.

Same shit, different decade.

I'll be premiering it tonight at 8 PM EST.

View attachment 1602904

https://youtu.be/1RLMTP2eQeM

Should link your channel or be sure to plug it before it goes live. Right now if you go to the link it just says the vid is private and doesn't even give the channel

 

[Glade Candles]

Should link your channel or be sure to plug it before it goes live. Right now if you go to the link it just says the vid is private and doesn't even give the channel

Thanks for the heads up, I've edited it.

 

[PhoBingas]

That or someone spins it to him being a victim of police brutality and he goes all ACAB BLM (which I highly doubt) or he moves to another state or country (also doubt). So gunt is basically a beached whale until something is done through arrest, overdose, or something else happens that kicks him down.

Ralph is a felon, no? Doesn't that bar him from getting a passport or leaving the US? I mean shithole countries might but how long do you think Gunty and Fai would last in Liberia?

 

[Edilg]

So have Ralph and Warski broken up again? So much shit has been happening and listening to his show puts me to sleep. Did he say anything about it?

Ralph is a felon, no? Doesn't that bar him from getting a passport or leaving the US? I mean shithole countries might but how long do you think Gunty and Fai would last in Liberia?

He can't (edit: while on parole) and he can't extract large amounts of money without it raising flags.

I figured Mexico was the best bet but I doubt he can handle a desert trek.

 

[Shakka Ahmose]

Ralph is a felon, no? Doesn't that bar him from getting a passport or leaving the US? I mean shithole countries might but how long do you think Gunty and Fai would last in Liberia?

Based Japanese say no to Ralph and his criminal behavior.

Countries a Convicted Felon can visit

Some countries do not require a U.S. citizen to have a passport before entering. So, a convicted felon will not have a problem going to any of these countries. But, there are plenty of countries that do require a passport and a visa. A convicted felon with a passport is not guaranteed entry when a …

www.uspassporthelpguide.com

 

[Hamsteroid]

View attachment 1602246

Meine liebste Erika,

I can't remember when I last wrote you - the days here tend to blend together somehow. Sometimes I wish I was at the front lines just to have something actually happen. Sniping duty is so dull, we started to play Bingo just to stay awake.
That hasn't kept our northern comrade from loosing it though: A few days ago he read some kind of hostage letter, ran into the woods and hasn't been seen since. Poor bastard…

Yesterday we met a farmer bringing news from the Californian front: The Guntstapo dropped a Baby Of All Bombs on Vicker's Staffel. I'm not believing it just yet as the enemy is known to spread rumors and false information.
He also talked about something happening at Ground AdeZero but he wasn't sure if it's another front line forming or just a small skirmish. Time will tell I guess.

I love you and I miss you - please send pictures of your feet.

Heil Mond! Heil Mais!

Stabsgefreiter Hans T. Eroid

Mein geliebter Hans,

I was at Ground AdeZero when it happend, but don't worry my love, everything is fine.
First the smell of whiskey and selfimportance filled the air, then we heard a strange sound getting louder. It is hard to describe, but I'd say it kind of sounded like a cackling dolphin. Then we saw it: A deformed blimp dropping propaganda leaflets all over the place! (Really cheap paper, boring layout and don't get me started on the choice of font! Our Führer Josef Konrad Mond would have had the editor-in-chief banned for such bad taste!)

Lucky for us, the blimp still had it's Socialist Serial Number printed all over it's side. With the help of an encyclopedia we could easily figure out where to return the proofread and corrected propaganda leaflets. It was a really fun evening - even the milkmaid with the huge jugs next door and a random chinaman joined in the fun!

Apparently your British friend, the Good Duke of Winson had quite the laugh too. Sadly we noticed that only after he was gone already - he is getting so good at his guerrilla warfare shenanigans that even his allies don't know what he is doing anymore.

I love and miss you too, mein Schatz, but you are not getting pictures of my feet - you'll have to see them in person when you come back from the war.

Sieg Mond! Sieg Mais!

Deine Erika

 

[PhoBingas]

He can't and he can't extract large amounts of money without it raising flags.

I figured Mexico was the best bet but I doubt he can handle a desert trek.

This. Please this. If there's a higher power Ralph will try to flee to Mexico. The idea of that gunt getting snatched up with his child bride by coyotes or the Mexican border patrol is hilarious... But I don't think the cartels would get much for Ralph unless they sold him for soap-fat.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

Can someone post clips where Godwinson nails Ralph's hoofs to the cross and the one where he is psamcologically broken?

Godwinson raves about driving nails into pig hooves as the stream collapses into a pile of bits

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ethan-ralph-theralphretort.16672/post-6993627

Even if you don't care about Ralph either way it's still funny.

 

[naught]

Archive of the archive ladies and guntelman. Can't flag them all.

https://youtu.be/yWXLw3piVeI

 

[kidatari]

posted this in pics/gif thread but for whatever reason I did not think of posting it here instead

 

[High Tea]

Ralph is a felon, no? Doesn't that bar him from getting a passport or leaving the US? I mean shithole countries might but how long do you think Gunty and Fai would last in Liberia?

You aren't even allowed to leave your state without permission from probation or vote. ER not being able to go to England for example, had to be a strain. If you get your felony changed to a misdemeanor, which is possible after a lot of work and depending on the offense, you can get your right to vote and travel restored.

 

[naught sock account 1]

posted this in pics/gif thread but for whatever reason I did not think of posting it here instead

Aww cute. I'd watch it @ movie night.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

A small, furry humanoid that eats trash and cats and ignores all social norms... By god it all makes sense now Ralf is just trying to make it back to Melmac.
View attachment 1602793

Since we're requesting clips doesn't anyone have the one where it's spoof of an 80s TV show staring Ralph and Warski and they use a shot of Belial from Basket Case credited as "and Ia Nub Shuggarath[or some other Lovecraftian name] as 'Gunty'"

The idea of a Lovecraftian abomination working as an actor to portray The Gunt in an 80s TV show is hilarious.

What do you guys think the Vicker's sent fai fai for her birthday?

If I were them I'd send her a cheap flip-phone with credit on it and a note saying 'You can always call us if you change your mind'

 

[Lore Master]

So have Ralph and Warski broken up again? So much shit has been happening and listening to his show puts me to sleep. Did he say anything about it?

I am thinking that Andy and Ralph aren't internet besties anymore. Heard that Andy hasn't been invited on TRR recently, Ralph doesn't retweet or @ mention him anymore when talking about TRR on Twitter and Ralph doesn't host him from what I have seen. Someone else said that Andy pushed his time up as well, so I imagine that Andy probably had a falling out with Ralph. Since Andy hasn't been on his numbers have dipped and his lino amount has been almost halved. Think Andy is worried hence why he is streaming right now as we speak with sub 200 viewers.

 

[TwoDollarPeePeePooPoo]

Since we're requesting clips doesn't anyone have the one where it's spoof of an 80s TV show staring Ralph and Warski and they use a shot of Belial from Basket Case credited as "and Ia Nub Shuggarath[or some other Lovecraftian name] as 'Gunty'"

The idea of a Lovecraftian abomination working as an actor to portray The Gunt in an 80s TV show is hilarious.

This one?

 

[High Tea]

Godwinson's twitter is gone yet again. So is the pattern, have something to say when things are ramping up and he's about to drop a video, plug said video, then delete until he has something to say again? At this point I wonder if it's worth documenting the twitter deletions and reappearances.

 

[FuzzMushr00m]

Here's some autism

Spoiler: Stream Oddity

Janitor to major gunt
Janitor to major gunt
Take your mother’s pills and turn the killstream on
Janitor to major gunt
The Bojack theme is almost done
OBS is ready I’m waiting just for you

This is janitor to major gunt
You’re really the most based
And the triggered alogs seethe
While you fuck Faith
Now if you don’t start the killstream you’ll be late

This is major gunt to janitor
You’ve heard the latest news
I just want you all to know that IT’S NOT TRUUUUUUU
And the ninjets aren't landing, they fly through

Gaydur pleeeaase clean the live chat from the haters
And start up my bots
700 views
And some lemons are for you

Though I’m cucking up to stay on DLive
My psyche is getting broken
Maybe I should dox another old e-whore
Tell my child bride I got superhacked
She knows

Janitor to major gunt
Your speech is slurred
Your nose is brown
Can you hear me major gunt (x3)

Can you

Here Am I rotting in my crack shack
Far from 2018
My guntling now is due
And I wish it wasn't TRUUUU

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

posted this in pics/gif thread but for whatever reason I did not think of posting it here instead

Some excerpts from the script of the Kiwiflix film Top Gunt

"Ethan. While you were up there showboating with the a-logs, who was covering Cougar?"
"YOU AIN'T MY DADDY! EAT A FUCKIN CALL YOU GODDAMN HOLLYWOOD AND WOLFMAN!"

"Talk to me, Gaydur!"
"Heh! We've got six MiGs up here doing gay ops, but I bet Rachel Maddow won't talk about THIS literal Russian interference (fake Jim laugh)!"
Ralph pulls the ejection handle and Gator breaks his neck on the canopy.