- Joined
- Jul 13, 2017
Oh please. This faggot is getting owned by kayfabe provocateurs like Godwinson and PPP, and he fancies himself as Vince McMahon?
He's full on delusional now.
🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.
- Thread starter chimpburgers
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Oh please. This faggot is getting owned by kayfabe provocateurs like Godwinson and PPP, and he fancies himself as Vince McMahon?
He's full on delusional now.
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2018
Stabbed in the Gunt
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2020
The corn RISES!
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2017
Okay Dame, you can now change your shtick from Mundane Matt to Ralph.
Seriously, do it, you taco nigger. Nobody gives a fuck about Matt anymore.
Seriously, do it, you taco nigger. Nobody gives a fuck about Matt anymore.
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2020
"Putting on a classic"? He didn't address the feline question, lift the fucking cat to the camera @theralph Anything you do until you verify the fact that Cleo is alive and Smoke wasn't just some stranger's cat picture you stole off /r/chonkers is bullshit. Answer the feline question already, you faggot!
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2019
Man swimming in sewer claims to have many friends, all of which have peanuts and corn embedded in them. Ralph, if you would put down the pills, the makers mark, and the fucking pot for just a second, you would realize how fucking delusional you really are. You are not a big deal, not online, not in real life, if you died tomorrow I doubt anyone would remember you after a month or so had passed and we all quit laughing long enough to roam on to better harvests elsewhere. You are nothing ralph. You are sitting in a padded fucking room rolling your shit into balls and eating crayons while you hallucinate that your stuffed alligator is telling you what a big man you are. Any guest that comes onto the show at this point is just a low tier grifter trying to steal away all the fucking idiots that still pay you money because they are a fucking mark. You are not playing checkers, or chess, or even tic tac toe, you are just collecting participation awards while the CCP launders money through you.
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2018
Let's do some math:
On subscribestar he has 15 total supporters, percentage-wise it looks like this (I'm rounding below (=/=100%) but using the unrounded numbers for the next step):
4 @ $2 = 27%
7 @ $5 = 47%
4 @ $10 = 27%
The type of subscriber that would take the effort to go from Patreon to Subscribestar are the most loyal followers and it would be natural to assume they pay a higher average, therefore we'll assume the following estimate to be conservative.
Applying these percentages to his (229 subscriber strong) Patreon tiers (which are identical):
229 * 27% = 61 @ $2 = $122.13
229 * 47% = 107 @ $5 = $534.33
229 * 27% = 61 @ $10 = $610.67
Adding all of these together gives us an estimate of $1,267.13 per month or $15,205.60 per year.
HOWEVER, this is all before Patreon takes its cut. Ralph has a "founder account" older than their new account fee regime (https://archive.md/5U3w6), which means he has 5% taken out, meaning he gets $1,203.77/month ($14,445.32/year)? Not exactly! If you look at the linked archived in the last sentence, there are additional fees dependent upon the tier due to transaction costs and it's worse the farther down you go.
So let's back up before the Patreon fee. Last I checked, Patreon uses Stripe, PayPal, and Payoneer for processing, this page (https://archive.md/onS7n) says the fees on PayPal and Stripe are 2.9 + 30 cents per transaction, which fits with what I've seen. (I'm not going to estimate currency conversion fees since those are both unknowable and likely negligible.)
Using the above means subtracting 30 cents for each of the 229 Patreons, giving a $68.70 dollar loss plus another 2.9% taken from the total (because the fees are taken from the payments directly, it will be from the number before the 30 cents are removed):
$1,267.13 per month or $15,205.60 per year - (2.9% and $68.70 per month) becomes $1,161.68 per month or $13,940.20 per year. Now, I'm going to be generous and assume Patreon doesn't take their 5% until after transaction fees:
$1,161.68 per month or $13,940.20 per year - 5% = $1,103.60 per month or $13,243.19 per year.
There are also fees to transfer the money to a bank account, however, that's fairly negligible at this level. This is all pre-tax meaning he doesn't even keep this much from his "$30K Patreon".
In summation: @ $1,100 per month or 13,200 per year, Ethan Ralph makes less than an assistant crackwhore in Mississippi.
If my estimates are wrong, @theralph can always stop being a pussy and show his actual Patreon numbers to btfo the alawgs once and for all...
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Laura Loomer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2019
Does anyone still have a copy of the dramatic reading Godwinson did last time Ralph's cat went missing?
Ralph's going to have to go to Fucking burger King, enjoy flipping burgers to pay for your alawg owning baby ralph
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2020
He has a plethora of guests, but he has to rely on relationships to get to them. Plus they are people that most people have never heard of. And since he doesn't introduce and research the guest, it's like, 'Hey, this random person is with us today that I expect you to know even though no one has heard of them'. Dame was part of a running joke and a frequent guest. People got to know him. Now it's guest number 8 that may be a comedian, political, news, etc that has a name, but is not famous enough to be super well known, but could just be the guy next door and no one would know the difference.
All becomes gunt
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2020
The baby will probably be raised and repeatedly sexually abused by Diddler Dax and Digibro, it's probably a sacrifice to keep their loyalty
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2020
I mean thankfully most of my focus was on discord and the game, I actually got caught slipping a few times when Ralph switched up his screen positioning, I didnt want my game taking up too much screen if it wasnt important.
L. Duse
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2017
Also, even if he has an endless list of guests who somehow all endorsed his grooming, his exploiting of a mentally ill brat R Kelly style, his flagging, his doxxing and see no problems ruining their reputation by associating with @theralph, it is never a good idea to burn bridges with anyone.
After all, the more the merrier, the more content, the more likely the show is to succeed. Listeners (or former listeners) do tune in to listen to Dame Peso's crusade against the Young Turks and even Null talking about the Farms! Now that @theralph sees them as mortal enemies and most likely won't invite them on again, isn't he afraid that the listeners would have less reason to tune in?
I wonder if he is even serious about seeing the show succeed with all of that self destructive behaviour.
This is a shame. Many former listeners and associates like @adezero liked Ralph once upon a time when they fell for his on air personality of being apparently able to take punches and being seen as a good umpire overseeing internet personalities going at each other's throats. Sir Gern even thought Ralph would entertain his ludicrous proposal to get Trump to tweet Gamergate.
But I guess he was just drunk causing him to be silent and be unable to respond properly when IBS is taking place or even when people laugh at him on air.
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- Joined
- Jul 13, 2017
On occasion, maybe. He's going to soon find that the Matt shit isn't a number one hit outside Ralph's hugbox. It was funny... two years ago. There's now plenty of Gunt shit that he can set to anime soundtracks and join the new decade. His call.
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2018
Has anyone asked Ralph yet if he's going to let Digibro babysit his kid so Ralph and Faith can get away for some sniffs?
I honestly can't believe he stills calls his little YT thing the Soyless Matt Show. He should change it to the Alcoholic Ralph Show.
L. Duse
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2017
Come on now. Sargger's News Report doesn't count? He tried rebranding it into Sargger News, I suppose a reference to Sir Gern's white niggers remark but he changed it back to Soyless Matt.
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2020
Seeing how you (are) being hysterical and disillusioned, I have some words for you Mr. Retort. Please heed them!
Edit: Link to the original video
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- Joined
- Oct 11, 2019
well, the WWE has been going down hill from what I've been told by wrestling aspies...
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2020
Christ @theralph is such a moron.
So he claims Ade is a meth addicted whore, it could be true I guess, but I concur with Godwinson that even the bad lighting picture looked fine for someone who is in their 40s - so I'm going to press X to doubt on the meth front.
Yet he seems to think that apparently the fact he chose to put his weeny sausage into an alleged meth whore shouldn't reflect badly on him? How desperate are ya Ralph?
Ralph, if what you are saying is true you actively bragged to Josh that you were in a relationship with a meth addicted whore with low self-esteem who bounces between Z-celebrities.
If it's not true, and fuck knows at this point - but let's be real everything he says is a self serving half truth at best - then Ralph has posted an article where he has accused someone of substance abuse issues on top of laughing at their being the victim of domestic abuse - something he then claims he took advantage of - and proclaiming he cheated on her. That's a real good look in a relationship Ralph, especially when you're there saying it publicly - I bet all your future love interests won't be put off from reading what you post about yourself... Probably because they will all be too mentally ill or strung out on drugs to care based on what you're saying yourself!
So Faith has no reason to trust that you will be faithful. Everyone has reason to believe you actively try to take advantage of women with low self-esteem (you know, like a young girl who ran away from home who has mental illness) and that you probably have few qualms about domestic violence. I wonder why the parents hate you.
So he claims Ade is a meth addicted whore, it could be true I guess, but I concur with Godwinson that even the bad lighting picture looked fine for someone who is in their 40s - so I'm going to press X to doubt on the meth front.
Yet he seems to think that apparently the fact he chose to put his weeny sausage into an alleged meth whore shouldn't reflect badly on him? How desperate are ya Ralph?
Ralph, if what you are saying is true you actively bragged to Josh that you were in a relationship with a meth addicted whore with low self-esteem who bounces between Z-celebrities.
If it's not true, and fuck knows at this point - but let's be real everything he says is a self serving half truth at best - then Ralph has posted an article where he has accused someone of substance abuse issues on top of laughing at their being the victim of domestic abuse - something he then claims he took advantage of - and proclaiming he cheated on her. That's a real good look in a relationship Ralph, especially when you're there saying it publicly - I bet all your future love interests won't be put off from reading what you post about yourself... Probably because they will all be too mentally ill or strung out on drugs to care based on what you're saying yourself!
So Faith has no reason to trust that you will be faithful. Everyone has reason to believe you actively try to take advantage of women with low self-esteem (you know, like a young girl who ran away from home who has mental illness) and that you probably have few qualms about domestic violence. I wonder why the parents hate you.
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- Joined
- Aug 20, 2020
Holy shit youre a legend, I always mark out when someone remembers those videos, I need to go back now with meme potential in mind
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