Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Or it could mean that some ducks are having an orgy.


Zoe is just angry that she can't eat the doughnut through the screen.


Do you know what you're doing though?


It's at five and below, if I were a witch, I would probably buy it for cleansing because it's cheaper than lavender, the main replacement that is recommended. Also, white sage is a plant, it's not really owned by anyone.


I think the reason voodoo practitioners use honey is because it never expires. So unless mouldy strawberries in a jar are particularly magickal, it's probably not a good idea.


After all, period blood is free!


Why would any deity want your already bitten into leftovers? At least give them a piece before you eat it.


I'm surprised this doesn't have any angry notes.

 

[NoReturn]

Or it could mean that some ducks are having an orgy.

That, or a dove got fucked up by a falcon.

I'm surprised this doesn't have any angry notes.

"Paganism, or Wicca"
Oh cram it, kid.
Hey, though, if anyone does actually want to learn about this sort of thing from someone who has actually done the reading, here's something educational:

Spoiler: Neat shit

 

[Haramburger]

I don't know why you would take a picture of that altar. It looks sad and empty.

How to bore a supernatural entity and not get a callback

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

This absolutely didn't happen.


I'm not taking magickal advice from someone who doesn't know the difference between lose and loose.


What does that mean?

 

[NoReturn]

What does that mean?

This dumbass doesn't even say which spread she's using but let's assume it's the easy one.
Past: 3 of Swords - Heartbreak and sadness
Present: The Devil - "Extraordinary efforts"
Future: Reversed 6 of Pentacles/Coins - Envy, jealousy, blahblahblah
Translation: She's fucking this dude because she's on the rebound and she's getting into him but he doesn't want a relationship with her.
Point is the whole thing is an encoded "fuckboy" joke and she thinks she's clever.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

I feel bad for this person. Now people will think that she believes that therapy is useless.


You say "Fuck me up", but cry when someone accidentally misgenders you.

 

[Wes Bluemarine]

Spoiler

View attachment 1604585View attachment 1604586
I feel bad for this person. Now people will think that she believes that therapy is useless.

Hobbies help, but if you think the goodwill kid's tarot set will heal your mental health, you might have physical head trauma.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

Spoiler: Everything from this lesson was 100% channeled from my guides and higher dimensional beings.

This may just be a trick to get Tumblr users outside and exercising.

Spoiler: Emoji spell to guide RBG to the afterlife

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler: Everything from this lesson was 100% channeled from my guides and higher dimensional beings.

View attachment 1605835

How is brushing your teeth artistic?

 

[Wes Bluemarine]

How is brushing your teeth artistic?

The only way to sculpt authentic bones without it being borderline illegal.

 

[NoReturn]

Spoiler: Everything from this lesson was 100% channeled from my guides and higher dimensional beings.

View attachment 1605824View attachment 1605827View attachment 1605835View attachment 1605840
This may just be a trick to get Tumblr users outside and exercising.

Spoiler: Emoji spell to guide RBG to the afterlife

View attachment 1605857

Those tags in the last one got me curious

Spoiler: #eclectic wicca

Didn't work. Found this anyway.

I can't believe this meme has gone this far.

This never happens.

LOL drugz dude, I'm so fun and quirky.

Spoiler: #eclectic witch

Ah yes, validity. The most important thing.
The medication thing is good advice, though.

Ok Aiden.

The stereotype is real.

Brooms can also be used for cleaning.

Spoiler: #pop culture witchcraft

Spoiler: #social justice witch

Seems like a lot of these blogs are a lot less active in the "witch" space than they were in 2018-2019, in at least three of these blogs that I got these images from I saw the content shift from emoji spells to stuff like politics and trans stuff.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Do these people not read Greek mythology?


Isn't it cultural appropriation to say you're karma?


Why do these people have such a high opinion of themselves?


If this is a joke it's in very bad taste.



A bunch of playing cards isn't going to reveal the inner workings of someone else's mind.


At least this person is taking their meds instead of replacing them with shiny rocks, I'll give them that.

 

[Krystal]

These people should learn the ritual of system 32. Also yes and no. Yes by Tumblr's logic and no since everyone has karma. No idea if you can become karma but they need dharma first.

 

[A Sign]

But aren't so-called pop culture spreads fine to use? since tarot can be read in any layout you want.

Everything else "uwu hex da twolls" when these troon "witches" would be too chicken shit to even step outside to awkwardly creep glare at someone.

And silly hamster of course they never read greek mythology, they only read Harry Potter while they seethe over JK TERFling uwu

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

They should've put more effort into the chant. Rhyming off with off is very lazy.


GO TO THERAPY!


Don't these people have better things to do than write three paragraphs debating the ethics of using faeself pronouns?


If you really have an "undying love" for this deity, you would give them better offerings.

 

[DungeonMaster]

But aren't so-called pop culture spreads fine to use? since tarot can be read in any layout you want.

Everything else "uwu hex da twolls" when these troon "witches" would be too chicken shit to even step outside to awkwardly creep glare at someone.

And silly hamster of course they never read greek mythology, they only read Harry Potter while they seethe over JK TERFling uwu

What the hell do they think karma is?
Now, I don't know much about hinduism but I've heard it's supposed to accumulate depending on your good or bad deeds and influences what you become in the next life. It's like christianity: no point in acting on your own sense of morals when whoever wronged you is just gonna get what they deserve when they die. But you wouldn't expect them to be anything more than deeply confused materialists with incredible delusions of power. I've long since believed the west, America in particular, has valued individual freedom to the point where it fosters subcultures like this. I have nothing against it - but this is the inevitable side effect of freedom on the rootless youth.

 

[NoReturn]

Don't these people have better things to do than write three paragraphs debating the ethics of using faeself pronouns?

hoW CaN yOu aPprOpriAtE cultURE FRom whITE PEOPle?
lol white people amiright. They've got no culture.

 

[NoReturn]

Mods- I might start branching out in this thread to include more non-tumblr stuff, but with the distinction that "witchblr" is still "Social Justice Witches" and tumblr-level delusion and not the same as the neopagan general content.

With that in mind, here comes a dump.

Spoiler: General Tumblr crap from the cottage witch tag

Spoiler

I wasn't going to include this one until I saw the tags.

This is a bad goal.

I had to look up "endos" and "cglre".

"Endos" = "Endogenics" = "An 'Endogenic system' is a catch-all term for non-traumagenic systems (systems that do not originate from trauma)." but it can also be people with "EDNOS" which is an eating disorder that doesn't fit neatly into something like anorexia or bulimia. I think she means the first one.

"CGLRE" = "Care-Giver/Little REgression" = Ageplay

This one was so crazy it goes outside the spoiler.

And something actually cute as eye bleach:

 

[A Detachable Penis]

Accessible naturecore pffffftt nature would have you devoured by wolves.

I thought the pagans got over the fluffy bunny shit in the 00s, but the self-serving egos of these idiots holds no bounds.

Like what of the dark and gruesome side of nature? The -50C windchill in winter that tries to fucking murder you?

 

[Unhindered Clown]

That hot chocolate does sound pretty enticing, I won't lie. But let's call it what it is... a recipe!

I find it rather ironic that a website where tumblr ideology began with pushing for a counterculture against "traditional gender roles to fight the patriarchy", is becoming increasingly known for 'aesthetics as lifestyles' like witchblr, ghiblicore, cottagecore, grandmacore [just NOUNcore if we are being honest]. Cottagecore is the traditional 'female' image-- baking, cooking, sewing, gardening, wearing frilly girly dresses, wash dishes by hand... effectively reject modernity and embrace 'tradition'. Meanwhile, witchblr has similar 'hobbies' like gardening for magikul hurbs, but leans more towards 'makeup is magic too' types of things that build the 'female empowerment' idea. It's mostly the opposite of the 2013 tumblr atmosphere where 90% of text posts were about dismantling the patriarchy and rejecting oppressive social constructs imposed on women... like makeup (sometimes you would see things like 'my eyeliner is sharp enough to stab a man' back then but there was and still is discourse on whether makeup is actually 'feminist' every so often).

Of course, more power to them if cottagecore is the only way for them to not live boring hobbyless lives. I just find it a bit saddening that these hobbies (which I'm sure are enjoyable on their own) need to be packaged as 'magically gifted talents granted from your imaginary god-friend'. They are so incapable of finding joy in the mundane that they need to ascribe words like 'rituals' and 'spells' to ordinary things.