🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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I can't believe nobody has posted this yet. We've seen the ultrasound now we can see the child. He shall be The Shepherd of the Shuck , The Haunting Harvester, The Monster of the Maize.
 

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"According to data from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, which regularly tracks the price tag attached to raising a child in the U.S., the average family “will spend approximately $12,980 annually per child"

Also looking at a few other sources, all the medical and what not on the line month lead up(including delivery and basic post natal) is about 10 grand on its own.

So basic maths is if Ralph and Child Bride literally only live off superchats, the guntling itself will eat through all of his saving from his height in about 4~ years. This means that Child bride needs to get a job quick. Ralph needs to get a real job, because I dont think Memphis will dish out enough welfare to keep his addiction going. No matter what the guntling is gonna live in a crackshack looking at what ralph currently makes.
 
"According to data from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, which regularly tracks the price tag attached to raising a child in the U.S., the average family “will spend approximately $12,980 annually per child"

Also looking at a few other sources, all the medical and what not on the line month lead up(including delivery and basic post natal) is about 10 grand on its own.

So basic maths is if Ralph and Child Bride literally only live off superchats, the guntling itself will eat through all of his saving from his height in about 4~ years. This means that Child bride needs to get a job quick. Ralph needs to get a real job, because I dont think Memphis will dish out enough welfare to keep his addiction going. No matter what the guntling is gonna live in a crackshack looking at what ralph currently makes.
$10k for prenatal and delivery? That is the most optimistic shit I've ever seen. You're looking at closer to $30k for a regular pregnancy and up to $50k for a c-section delivery depending on complications. That $10k figure might cover an uncomplicated delivery where she goes home the next day but that's not going to cover testing, prenatal visits, coaching, etc. Looking at figures for just delivery costs it can be as little as $4800 in Alabama for an uncomplicated vaginal delivery up to $50k if there are complications. Won't cover problems in the NICU either (Ralph was pre-term born at 7 months and only weighed 4lbs, he has a brother with serious medical/developmental problems.) Christ. $10k is not anywhere near how much this shit will cost them.

But she's on medicaid so it won't cost them anything but their pride having to deal with DCFS each month.
 
(unless you're some kind of lich)
id probably sacrifice ralph's baby for eternal life ngl,

Ralph better hope that nothing happens to the pregnancy, he has set up so many potential jokes around miscarriage and abortion that you would think he was obsessed with it or something.
lol he sounded fucking terrified when a superchat made a sargon joke.
 
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$10k for prenatal and delivery? That is the most optimistic shit I've ever seen. You're looking at up to $50k for a c-section delivery depending on complications. That $10k figure might cover an uncomplicated delivery where she goes home the next day but that's not going to cover testing, prenatal visits, coaching, etc. Looking at figures for just delivery costs it can be as little as $4800 in Alabama for an uncomplicated vaginal delivery up to $50k if there are complications. Won't cover problems in the NICU either. Christ.

We have several kids and this is best case. I think each pregnancy cost us around $10k and that's just because that is where my insurance fully kicked in and started paying 100%. That did get us to delivery before we reached that amount, but that's also the bulk of the amount. We easily paid less than half the actual bills.

Edit: Also want to state that, when Ralph gets his first bill from these prenatal care visits and declines the payment plan and won't pony up any cash when they go in for follow-ups, they WILL cut him off and deny treatment. He will be stuck at the free clinic in the 8 hour waiting room, getting told oh you look fine as they do no actual exam and scooted off so they can treat the next crack victim.
 
$10k for prenatal and delivery? That is the most optimistic shit I've ever seen. You're looking at closer to $30k for a regular pregnancy and up to $50k for a c-section delivery depending on complications. That $10k figure might cover an uncomplicated delivery where she goes home the next day but that's not going to cover testing, prenatal visits, coaching, etc. Looking at figures for just delivery costs it can be as little as $4800 in Alabama for an uncomplicated vaginal delivery up to $50k if there are complications. Won't cover problems in the NICU either (Ralph was pre-term born at 7 months and only weighed 4lbs, he has a brother with serious medical/developmental problems.) Christ. $10k is not anywhere near how much this shit will cost them.

But she's on medicaid so it won't cost them anything but their pride having to deal with DCFS each month.
Bold of you to think he would dish out for "optional" baby things rather then makers mark.
 
You know, I've always heard your kids are always 10X worse than you are as a warning for kids to treat their parents well. In the case of Faith and Ralph they're going to be in for a real doozy if this actually rings true. Can you imagine, the gunt on dialysis and the guntling telling him to eat a dick when asked for a ride. The guntling giving a big middle finger to mom and fucking the most grotesque creature it can find and telling the world just exactly how psycho faith beat the guntling as a child. It's already written in the stars.
 
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The gunt and Faith supposedly made the spawn of autism at the barbie dream mansion when Destiny was there. Plus I've been hearing that Faith is a massive destiny fan girl and only went to the barbie ghetto hut was that she could meet him. If it ain't a halfway cucks kid,it might be possible that everyone's sorta favorite far left midget cucked the gunt and gotten her knocked up.
Based Destiny, impreging fangirls for shits and giggles.
 
You know, I've always heard your kids are always 10X worse than you are as a warning for kids to treat their parents well. In the case of Faith and Ralph they're going to be in for a real doozy if this actually rings true. Can you imagine, the gunt on dialysis and the guntling telling him to eat a dick. The guntling giving a big middle finger to mom and fucking the most grotesque creature it can find and telling the world just exactly how psycho faith beat the guntling as a child. It's already written in the stars.
lol ralph aint gonna live that long
 
10k-30k unless he breaks parole and takes his wife to Mexico or Canada. No way he'll be able to get a passport the few months left before birth and remaining parole time. Maybe he'll just send her with a mule to a foreign land, or get a veterinary or back street doctor. Actually back street doctor seems most likely, or could keep it a "home birth" as well.
 
Bold of you to think he would dish out for "optional" baby things rather then makers mark.
Care isn't optional, it's actually a crime in many places to not seek care for your unborn child. If she is on medicaid she'll have to keep all her appointments too or risk losing her benefits and getting alogged by a social worker.
10k-30k unless he breaks parole and takes his wife to Mexico or Canada. No way he'll be able to get a passport the few months left before birth and remaining parole time. Maybe he'll just send her with a mule to a foreign land, or get a veterinary or back street doctor. Actually back street doctor seems most likely, or could keep it a "home birth" as well.
Even if you go with some kind of hippie birth doula/midwife they still have to be paid and keep records. Babies are fucking expensive no matter how you do it. Have a friend that had three at home births, two water and one on this disgusting yoga ball that she still has in the livingroom. Any time some unwitting bastard sits on it she starts talking about how THAT is the ball she popped out number two on. I don't know if it's THE ball, anymore, but anyway she still spent a pretty penny on homebirthing even when she didn't have the birthing pool.
 
Care isn't optional, it's actually a crime in many places to not seek care for your unborn child. If she is on medicaid she'll have to keep all her appointments too or risk losing her benefits and getting alogged by a social worker.

Even if you go with some kind of hippie birth doula/midwife they still have to be paid and keep records. Babies are fucking expensive no matter how you do it. Have a friend that had three at home births, two water and one on this disgusting yoga ball that she still has in the livingroom. Any time some unwitting bastard sits on it she starts talking about how THAT is the ball she popped out number two on.
Lick the yoga ball.
 
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