Food You're Not Really Sure Anyone Even Buys

[Krystal]

Crabs or Lobsters at my local Safeways.

 

[Bender]

Crabs or Lobsters at my local Safeways.

Anyone who looks at a crab or a lobster and thinks "that looks delicious" is someone who deserves to be locked in a psych ward.

And yes, I get they're actually delicious, but they're two of the the least visually-appealing creatures on earth. Crabs are essentially giant spiders with extra armour while lobsters look like giant versions of the already-ugly shrimp, and they both have BIG, MEATY CLAWS. I do want to try lobster some day, (I tried crab claws at a Japanese restaurant and loved the flavour and texture) but I'm scared of ordering it in a restaurant in case it comes dressed in the shell, which would instantly destroy my appetite, and that shit ain't cheap.

 

[Krystal]

Some restaurants do that. They usually give you a mallet to break open the shell for crab.

 

[AnOminous]

Anyone who looks at a crab or a lobster and thinks "that looks delicious" is someone who deserves to be locked in a psych ward.

And yes, I get they're actually delicious, but they're two of the the least visually-appealing creatures on earth. Crabs are essentially giant spiders with extra armour while lobsters look like giant versions of the already-ugly shrimp, and they both have BIG, MEATY CLAWS. I do want to try lobster some day, (I tried crab claws at a Japanese restaurant and loved the flavour and texture) but I'm scared of ordering it in a restaurant in case it comes dressed in the shell, which would instantly destroy my appetite, and that shit ain't cheap.

All I think when I see a lobster is how it would taste to boil it and beat it open with hammers and tongs and eat its flesh dipped in butter. Coconut crabs are actually scary looking, but I bet they'd be delicious too.

 

[Bender]

What the hell is wrong with you people?

 

[Jeff Gerstmann]

What the hell is wrong with you people?

Ocean bugs are delicious.

 

[Bender]

Ocean bugs are delicious.

Hey, I'm not denying that, as I said I tried crab claw meat and loved it, but surely when you look at them you think they're ugly as sin?

 

[Jeff Gerstmann]

Hey, I'm not denying that, as I said I tried crab claw meat and loved it, but surely when you look at them you think they're ugly as sin?

Sure, they're hideous. But looks don't necessarily dictate what I put in my food hole.

 

[Pond Scum]

Anyone who looks at a crab or a lobster and thinks "that looks delicious" is someone who deserves to be locked in a psych ward.

And yes, I get they're actually delicious, but they're two of the the least visually-appealing creatures on earth. Crabs are essentially giant spiders with extra armour while lobsters look like giant versions of the already-ugly shrimp, and they both have BIG, MEATY CLAWS. I do want to try lobster some day, (I tried crab claws at a Japanese restaurant and loved the flavour and texture) but I'm scared of ordering it in a restaurant in case it comes dressed in the shell, which would instantly destroy my appetite, and that shit ain't cheap.

Couldn't disagree more. Crabs and lobsters look delicious, and if spiders were fleshy and delicious with lemon on the inside I'd be lining up to eat them too.

 

[Bender]

Sure, they're hideous. But looks don't necessarily dictate what I put in my food hole.

So you're saying I have a chance?

 

[Jeff Gerstmann]

So you're saying I have a chance?

 

[AnOminous]

Hey, I'm not denying that, as I said I tried crab claw meat and loved it, but surely when you look at them you think they're ugly as sin?

Not really. There are lots of uglier things. Have you ever seen a monkfish? They're delicious though.

 

[Unpaid Emotional Labourer]

Vienna sausages are something you eat over the bathroom sink piss drunk. The smoked ones are aight doe.

Vienna sausages are something you eat after a hurricane when the power is out for a week because they’re what’s left on the grocery shelf. Also deviled ham.

 

[CORRUPT🍀]

I've never quite gotten over the cockroaches of the sea analogy. I actually heard that about whales but then decided it was more appropriate for crabs and such,

And I've ever seen anyone buy spam. Does anyone eat it? What kind of animal is it from? Is it like pork but with bread or sawdust or something cheap mixed in

 

[Les Morfalous]

Canned meats. I see food charities hand spam over to people who just want something free to eat, but who the fuck subjects their body to that crap and pays for it?

You plebeian oh the highest order!I'll have you know I survived 4 years of university on canned pork, lard and pâte.Ain't nothing better than grandma's home-made brawn.

 

[Jeff Gerstmann]

And I've ever seen anyone buy spam. Does anyone eat it? What kind of animal is it from? Is it like pork but with bread or sawdust or something cheap mixed in

Fried spam can be good on occasion and Hawaiians LOVE spam.
It's pork with a shit ton of salt and sugar to preserve it.

 

[Miss Misery]

Spam musubi is God's own food.

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

Cinnamon Gum. Just that.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

I had some Japanese gum that tasted like pine once. I actually quite liked it, but I guess no one else ever bought any because they stopped making it.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

All I think when I see a lobster is how it would taste to boil it and beat it open with hammers and tongs and eat its flesh dipped in butter. Coconut crabs are actually scary looking, but I bet they'd be delicious too.

The humble brown crab is the tastiest little bastard, and I would choose it over lobster any day. Classic crab linguine is an amazing dish. They're also cheaper and easier to humanely dispatch than their lobster cousins.