US Joe Biden News Megathread - The Other Biden Derangement Syndrome Thread (with a side order of Fauci Derangement Syndrome)

Let's pretend for one moment that he does die before the election, just for the funsies. What happens then? Will the nomination revert to option number 2, aka Bernie Sanders? Or will his running mate automatically replace him just the way Vice-President is supposted to step in after the Big Man in the White House chokes on a piece of matzo? Does he even have a running mate yet?

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Prepping Biden for a debate is likely akin to prepping for a colonoscopy, except the shit is gushing out of the intake rather than the exit.

 

[XYZpdq]

Biden has called a lid for the day. At 9:30 AM EST.

And Scott Adams has the best take on it, from a persuasion standpoint.

View attachment 1618174

https://archive.vn/smPWe

After a night of nation-wide riots where Antifa and BLM escalated to using bats, guns, and firebombs directly on police, Biden turned in for a nap after about 90 minutes of work. Presuming they got started at 8 AM, which is a big assumption.

Is there a central resource for lid-calling announcements?

 

[HTTP Error 404]

Is there a central resource for lid-calling announcements?

Don't think so. The press hears about it and then sometimes they let us pleb know.

 

[CrippleThreat]

All of these lids remind me of something:

 

[Leibowitz]

My friends in the Citadel tell me there's a sea of Biden bumper stickers on every car and rig. It's a literal blue wave. That's really concerning. What's worse, the war boys keep calling him "Immortan Joe."

 

[ChikN10der]

My friends in the 4th stimpire tell me that for the last 500 years, the 4th stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, stimsis. But now, they're seeing a sea of biden signs, which are protected by the worst type of electricity, with the pain tripling every second.

The sickening truth that people are calling him "Civil meat Joe" has been revealed only today, and investigation teams are still investigating the truth without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

 

[Garm]

Apparently Biden took the lid to begin “heavily” prepping for the debate in five days. It’s like cramming the week before final exams without having shown up for class all semester, what could go wrong?

Imagine the panic in his camp right now as they try to coach him when he can’t remember shit, gets easily sidetracked, has angry outbursts, and just trails off and stumbles away. Do they snap their fingers at him? Give him treats?

Maybe they are trying to get him to rest so he could have a string of good days.

Odds are the meds are losing their effectiveness because the decline is accelerating. Biden will show up at the debates looking like the Crypt Keeper.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

If i had an abortion 18 years ago, I get to vote twice, right?

Don't give the dems ideas.

 

[GuntPunt]

In the first age, in the first campaign, when the lids were first issued, one stood. Boldened by the embers of the media, his soul slept by the fires of Antifa and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual dullness. In his ravenous dementia he found no answers; and with no interesting policy he scoured the basement seeking vengeance against the orange lord who had wronged him. He wore the dollar store aviators of the Epstiens, and those that felt the grope of his fists named him… Joe Biden.

 

[Drain Todger]

I love how everyone's always going on about Hunter Biden like "Oh, he's Joe Biden's kid". Even the name Hunter suggests a sort of eternal youthfulness. Like, you could just picture him with a Boy Scout merit badge sash over his shoulder and his dad all like "C'mere, Hunter!"

Except Hunter Biden isn't a kid. He's 50 years old, he's incompetent and useless at everything, and he likes fucking trafficked hookers in run-down Slavic bordellos with paint peeling off the walls. His father is older than God, and really has no business running for president in his condition.

 

[JosephStalin]

Is there a central resource for lid-calling announcements?

In this context, what is a "lid", please? I only know a lid as the top of a container or an ounce of pot. Thanks!

 

[Garm]

Biden angry at real question.
View attachment 1616849
Real reporter: You have a conflict of interest in Ukraine.
Biden: ORANGE MAN IS BAD.

Hmm... Has the media actually dived into this scandal? I wonder if they were told to back off after "Hillary's Emails" last time around.

Edit:

In this context, what is a "lid", please? I only know a lid as the top of a container or an ounce of pot. Thanks!

Sorry for the double-post. Couldn't get it to fit under the meme.

Joe Biden refuses to do media appearances.

 

[tehpope]

In this context, what is a "lid", please? I only know a lid as the top of a container or an ounce of pot. Thanks!

Sorry for the double-post. Couldn't get it to fit under the meme.

it means biden is having an episode and won't be on the campaign trail.

 

[JosephStalin]

it means biden is having an episode and won't be on the campaign trail.

Thanks much! Makes you wonder how anyone who isn't utterly fucked in the head can vote for Old Joe. In my opinion he isn't up to the job, physically or mentally. The position of President of the United States is one of the most demanding, if not the most demanding around, physically and mentally. This is why almost every President looks markedly more aged at the end of the term. You get no vacations. You have to be ready to go anywhere, anytime, 24/7/365, even in mid-stroke or while heaving a Havana. If you drank, you couldn't afford to get drunk. President Trump performs rings around Old Joe.

Look for Joe to leave public life as soon as President Trump is inaugurated again come January.

 

[Dark Edea]

And maybe if black people would stop burning down their communities, looting, rioting, and blaming white people every time a black criminal gets killed for doing criminal things then there wouldn't be such a negative view on the black community. I know not all black people a crack addicted nigger criminals, but it sure doesn't help my opinion of them when they won't hold their criminals accountable for being criminal scum. The "He didndu nuffin'!" meme became a fucking meme for a reason. And it certainly isn't helping that the media, certain politicians, and too many naive white liberals are right there with them chanting "He dindu nuffin'! ACAB!" Fuck that noise with a running chainsaw. If they want to benefit from polite Western society then they need to act like it and condemn the criminal elements within their demographic as the criminal scum they are. We need more Morgan "stop talking about race" Freemans and less Cardi Bs.

Black people aren't burning things down, by and large. White people that are closeted racists are the ones burning the cities.

 

[kobebyarlant]

My friends in Belgrade in Serbia told me there's a sea of Biden flags and signs. It's a literal blue wave. That's really concerning.

What's worse, they call him "Slojoedan Milošniffvić".

But for real, as someone who works evenings it's hilarious waking up every morning to read Joe has given up for the day before I've even gotten out of bed.

 

[Hackallier]

My friends in Helsinki in Finland told me there's a sea of Biden flags and signs. It's a literal blue wave. That's really concerning.

What's worse, they call him "Jenkki Joe".

 

[Michael Wade]

Has anybody heard of genuine thefts of Biden campaign signs? I know someone who it actually happened to in my area.

 

[CrippleThreat]

Has anybody heard of genuine thefts of Biden campaign signs? I know someone who it actually happened to in my area.

I don't know, man. It's weird to steal someone's air.

Also, does anyone know what Biden plans to do when he gets into office? Goals or anything of that sort? Or is his whole campaign so far been the effects of having Orange Man live rent free in your head?

 

[Ashen One]

Biden has called a lid for the day. At 9:30 AM EST.

That's 9 times this month. One more and Biden can get a free medium soda next time his campaign calls a lid!

Edit: removed the white spot.