Anyone that would like to start from the beginning and follow along, I've done a blog on Realself for the interim. I'm adding stuff daily.
https://www.realself.com/review/vaginoplasty-complete-disaster-beginning JANUARY 15TH, 2019 UPDATE!! Hey folks, I'm sorry this is taking me so long. I've run into host problems and I've had to change things up. It's not a bad thing in the end, but I'm taking it to its own domain and site, free of the over-watch content police. Apparently, most of the blogging sites have algorithms that have a difficult time discerning healthcare and educational images from porn. It's just a hassle explaining everything over and over. I should be finished with the first release round that contains everything from start to now within about 10 days. Then I will post the new url. I haven't quit on this, I'm more fired up about the possibilities now more than ever. Mostly because it's been such a long and painful process to recover from. It's not just me either. I've talked to a lot of people who have faced this kind of situation and even years later, they can't find any closure. I'm not just talking about my situation with Gallagher. I'm talking about a variety of surgeons. But I'm not speaking for anyone else, and I'm not doing this for revenge. I'm doing this to be heard and to heal from the trauma I've felt from my GCS experience that has continued for almost two years. Last January, Dr. Sidhbh Gallagher, and her staff urged me to focus on my experience when telling people my story. So, here we are. This is going to be fun and I promise you, there will be some WTF moments. I'm not sure how long this image will stay up but I'll put one of the December result images below. If you're wondering why my scar is still like this or why I haven't gone to my regular Doctor -- let me tell you, I have. On multiple occasions. I waited for the last three months for a recommendation from my primary care physician with IU-Health, the largest employer in Indiana, and in the end, he said --"I don't know who to send you to". Ya, I waited three months to hear that. FYI - this is 14 months AFTER the revision
This is only the 2nd half of my GCS experience, with plastic surgeon Sidhbh Gallagher M.D. in Indianapolis, Indiana starting in late March 2017. To be more specific, I'm referring to MTF Vaginoplasty or bottom surgery. This story isn't a personal vendetta against Dr. Gallagher. I’m not out for retribution, notoriety or money. I have no intention of pursuing any kind of litigation either. There’s no need to embellish or exaggerate any of the circumstances to get my point across about the pain and misery I’ve faced through much of the 11+ months post-surgery experience. It’s laid bare in the emails we exchanged over the entire course of my recovery and the revision that followed. If I don't speak up, and say something about my experience, nothing will change. Potential and current GCS patients won't ask the questions they should be asking during their consultations or demanding the disclosure of problems when their surgeon stone-face them or deflect their questions when they ask. No one should take it for granted that they are getting all the pre-surgery, risk/complication information they should have when seeking this level of surgery or tolerate a bait and switch in the level of post-surgery care. Surgery experience matters. A lot. FTM top surgery is not the same as MTF bottom surgery even if the surgeon refers to them both as Gender Affirmation Surgeries in order to obfuscate their lack of experience in one procedure or the other. With that said, the worst part of my year-long nightmare was that it didn’t have to end in the pile of rubble it did. I walked away from her clinic in February, of this year after another incident with her Coordinator. My crime? I forwarded an email to her staff on behalf of a panicked individual who had been unable to contact them for nearly 3-weeks. This simple task, set the end in motion. No yelling or screaming, no vulgarities, no real nastiness at all. It was, however, the turning point when I realized. I could no longer go along to get along. I made it clear in writing that I no longer felt welcome in their outpatient clinic. Since then, the only communication I’ve received in reply to my emails have been from her PA, stating that Dr. Gallagher would talk to me if I made an appointment. Even if I wanted to, I could no longer afford it. That matters very little because I haven’t made any request to return anyway. What I have done is follow through with the promise I made from the very beginning –provide them with updated result images. Sure, I’ve made some snarky comments, who the hell wouldn’t when you continue to have problems 19-months after your initial surgery? So, ya, In late June of this year, I sent them an email asking for an apology. Something simple, like, We’re sorry, this was an unusual situation, and your surgery could have been handled better. I thought if nothing else, they should acknowledge that. Yes, I know how crazy that sounds. But no, to make matters even worse, they thought sending me an official dismissal letter, with a fabricated reason for dismissal, was a better plan. What makes this all the more hilarious or tragically comical, is that I haven’t had a single verbal argument with any of them. I haven’t been anything but over-the-top pathetically pleasant every step of the way. Seriously, I never wanted difficulty or conflict and it was never there. OK, there was some difficulty -- BUT IT WAS WITH MY VAGINA! Anyway, glowing emails, ya, like every day -Dear Dr. Gallagher, you are the best, yada, yada, yada. Seriously, you do this when you're damaged and depressed and you're hoping the person that took your genitals apart will put them back together in a way that doesn't scare you. So after you've looked at what I went through below (and this is only half of it mind you). Just imagine what it feels like to get a registered letter like the one below from your gender affirmation surgeon of some 16 months for the dastardly deed of requesting an apology. Go ahead, Read it below, I'll wait right here.
Pretty cool huh?
So the questions I get. - Why did you need a revision? - Where's the first part of the story? - What happened that was so bad? The truth is my vagina is just plain hard to look at. My point here isn't too gross people out with gory surgery pictures. That's really the bottom line. Having said that, if I'm going to get you from that first week of surgery to now, so you fully understand the journey, it's going to take pictures of what started this entire mess, to begin with. I'll add some but they are going to be smaller low res images. I can only speculate as to why this went off the rails from the beginning. All I can do is show and tell you that it did. What I find to be the most tragic about my surgery is how it was handled and the fact that nothing was ever done about it as it fell apart. She didn't intervene in any way even after telling me that it would heal through something called Second Intention. She gave me a rudimentary explanation of what that meant, and I was an absolute fool not to research it fully myself, but hey, I trusted my surgeon. Had I done the research, I would have read the roadmap that would make up the next year of my life and the misery that comes with wound healing through Second Intention. So that was my mistake. I say that because this is something I would typically do and didn't. The first 8 images below are a spotty chronology of what happened right out of the gate. Basically, my vulva sutures started coming apart at the main incisions 9 days after surgery. Over the following months, this just snowballed into one problem after another because of the way it healed through the magic of Second Intention and restricted the vulva entrance. By August, it had become covered in granulation that was excruciatingly painful to the point of tears every day. Dilation became almost impossible due to the painful scar tissue and hypergranulation. I was able to do enough dilation with a small dilator to keep it open. You can see how it had healed by Sept. 27th, all pushed to one side with granulation on the inside. This is why I needed a revision. But wait a second, let's revisit that issue of healing through Second Intention. As I mentioned, I failed to 2nd guess Dr. Gallagher's notion that it was no big deal. Later I went back and did a cursory look with a basic google search which brought up the Wikipedia page for wound healing. Sure enough, we have bullet points. * Secondary intention is implemented when primary intention is not possible. * This is due to wounds being created by major trauma in which there has been a significant loss in tissue or tissue damage.[98] * The wound is allowed to granulate. * Surgeon may pack the wound with a gauze or use a drainage system. * Granulation results in a broader scar. * Healing process can be slow due to presence of drainage from infection. * Wound care must be performed daily to encourage wound debris removal to allow for granulation tissue formation. Was I told any of this? of course not. Let me tell you though, I sure the hell suffered the consequences. Looking back, what I find the most interesting about this vulva explosion is that she never gave me a reason for why it may have happened. Plenty of recognition that it did, but never an explanation as to why. Sure, there was swelling. Did we not expect the swelling? What could have caused that much swelling? Or, was it something else altogether? Keep in mind, I live 30 minutes from the hospital. I sent her images like this from the beginning asking if we needed to intervene and do something. Her course of action was to just let it heal through 2nd intention. This was all dreadfully painful and it went on and on like this for months but that's an entirely different story.
I probably don't have to say this but.... Full Disclosure. I have Nothing, Zero, Notta-a-thing to do with any official promotion, marketing or patient care for Dr. Sidhbh Gallagher's plastic surgery practice. We aren't hanging out at the local eatery like BFF's either. I'm just an Indy-based, now post-op, GCS patient, sharing their surgery experience with others considering the same. I don't want ANYONE reading my story concluding I am a paid mouthpiece for any surgeon. I will answer any questions you have, honestly and to the best of my knowledge.
At the moment, the only recovery period that's covered here are from results on and after the Nov 16, 2017 revision surgery.
Some of the same problems with sutures and hypergranulation began to appear about a 10 days after the revision. The were treated with silver nitrate.
As of January 2018, my biggest complaint by far is the scarring from the W-plasty at the top. I was never told I was having a W-plasty for my revision, only that she was going to "Bring this together" (see blue gloved image above). The potential for scarring was never mentioned. I expressed my dissatisfaction with the amount of scarring four weeks later. She felt comfortable with the extent of the scarring and that it would be acceptable as it matures over time. She also suggested I massage it in an effort to smooth and break up the lumpy tissue. That's just not going to happen. If you're wondering if I feel disappointed by that response, the answer is - Yes, definitely.
A note on depth. The depth has remained about 5" which is pretty good. Prior to the revision surgery, I was limited to the smallest purple dilator from the Soul Source set due to the scar tissue build-up and potential tearing. As of 12/20/2017, I can dilate using the largest green dilator -basically 4 sizes up, from the same set. I'd say that's a substantial improvement.
A quick look at VICRYL Suture Spitting
Below: Images from January 21, 2018
January 26th, 2018 An introduction to VICRYL Suture Reactivity. For some time know I've been having problems with suture "Spitting". This is NOT and allergy it is a reactive process that can happen in a few weeks or a few months. As you can see below what happens. Since I don't have any sensitivity in this area, I don't feel it forming under the skin. It starts like a small inflamed bump then splits open and "spits" out the semi-dissolved VICRYL suture material encapsulated in thicker than normal blood. It doesn't hurt as much as it surprises me. Ten months later, I've mentioned this problem several times with Dr. Gallagher, and sent her great image details of the process as it was unfolding elsewhere. After all of these attempts to understand what was happening the best she offer was "VICRYL sutures are known for being very well tolerated". That's it. Everything else I had to figure by doing my own research on the interwebs. This was totally unnecessary.
And this 5 days later
February 1, 2018 Overall things are looking pretty good except for the on going suture reactions in the scar at the top. Depth remains an easy 5" - 5 1/2".
February 8th, 2018 Updates This is my least favorite part of the result. It’s still sore and lumpy underneath. I keep it moisturized and I've used silicone scar tape. I'm feeling alright with the progress of the revision surgery --Except for the W-plasty scar. It's a problem it's lumpy its cracks and it's sore sometimes. I can't feel anything on the skin surface but I can feel pressure underneath. I asked for a clitoral reduction during the revision and Dr. Gallagher said there might be some temporary loss of sensitivity. I couldn't really tell that there was any difference afterward, but in the last several weeks I have noticed the sensitivity decrease of about 30-40%. It's remained about the same since. I'm not panicking because I've noticed an overall increase in feeling at the sub-layers of the labia tissue. Hopefully, this will continue to the skin surface. So it's clear, let me show you what my expectations were prior to surgery and again with the revision. Same goals for the most part.
Somehow I ended up here.
February and March Updates
You have no idea how difficult it's been to get this giant knot of a scar problem taken care of and fixed. I've been trying for two months now just to get a referral from my Primary Care Physician. I don't know why he insists on getting one from Dr. Gallagher, that wasn't my idea. I simply need one from my PCP. He's been my PCP for 10 years, sat in his office and cried about all this back in February so none of it is new to him. When I complained to Dr. Gallagher about it she told me to massage it. What do I even say to that? She was totally serious. Last week my PCP emailed me and said that Dr. Gallagher actually told them she recommended I go to Dr. Unger in Cleveland or Dr. Schechter in Chicago. LOL! Right, sure she did. More mystery mail no doubt. The truth is, she never made those recommendations and surprisingly enough, my PCP can't find any documentation of them either. Go figure. Add that to my list of: Things My Surgeon Never Disclosed. I suppose she could always say that she asked her Coordinator to send them and she didn't follow through. Kind of like the three times she promised to meet me in the hospital and never showed up or when she left me in a dark waiting room for 90 minutes on the morning of my surgery or when she didn't send me my revision surgery information until I had to call and ask for it days before it was scheduled. Either way, those recommendations, they never happened. Why even bother making that up at this point? Anyway, I wouldn't take my ugly scar all the way to Chicago or Cleveland when there are plenty of plastic surgeons in Indianapolis that could fix this. If you ask me, it seems as though she wants me to leave town so another local surgeon won't see her handiwork. This is how I felt when she referred me to a Physical Therapist on the outskirts of town she hadn't even met instead of one on the 4th floor of the same hospital like her other patients. Whatever, I liked my PT from FYZICAL. Still do. Honestly, I'm about ready to let this entire story unfold as it happened from beginning to end. I'm tired of trying to go through the proper channels and getting zero results. I'm just going to put the whole story online in every detail. It's a cautionary tale and there's a lot I haven't revealed about why I walked away from her clinic and care. Much of it has to do with her Coordinator. Not her whole staff or her PA, I think I spoke to her PA once. I 'm referring to her Patient Coordinator. Yes, the one that never returns your calls. There are plenty of other online complaints online referring to Dr. Gallagher's "staff", however, I'm referring to one particular staff member. When I finally told Dr. Gallagher that I no longer felt welcome or comfortable at her Clinic It was because of things her Coordinator was doing. Dr. Gallagher then exacerbated the problem by not paying attention and later helping herself to something of mine that wasn't hers to take without one word to me. Lying about verbal abuse and harassment on the patient dismissal form and the nonexistent recommendations....that's on Dr. Sidhbh Gallagher. No matter how you slice it, it's just wrong. Had it not have been for that move, I probably would have let all of this go. It's a bold move to fabricate something like that out of thin air. It's not something I expected someone trying to build a reputation for themselves to do. Unfortunately, it was dumb. BTW - Don't fret people, I sent Dr. Gallagher a copy of this image for her records. I think it's important she's up to date with the latest. Actual email below.
On Mon, Oct 15, 2018 at 3:39 PM Just thought you might want to see how your handy work has turned out. I know you like to make stuff up, but I'm keeping it real. Don't worry, I'll make sure this is added to the rest of my online collection. I hope you dont feel like I'm harassing you with pictures of your own work. I still have the luxury of looking at this every day. The giant lump underneath is even more spectacular. I think it's important you see this so you can make adjustments and improve your surgery techniques. If people like me don't step forward and show others the truth, there's no incentive for you to do better. You and your coordinator have done to me what a million women in the #metoo movement are claiming. I feel assaulted and abused, not by men, but by my very own healthcare providers.
October 21st, 2018 - Just under 19-months post-op from first surgery 11-months post-op from the revision surgery Since I only left that one image from October 14th, I didn't want to leave anyone with the impression I was attempting to hide or conceal any part my results. We will have none of that. Here are some additional images. I turned off the flash on a few of them because it reveals more texture even if the lighting is dark in areas.
More from October 21st, 2018
I will continue to add more pictures as the healing continues. Contact:
emmalou.wrinkles@gmail.com
