Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[NoReturn]

As I read this thread, I'm becoming slowly more convinced that the shitposting 4chan Kek-worshipers had done more research on their patron deity and had a better underlying theory as to why their "chaos magic" worked than Witchblr can muster up. Granted, it's a low bar to jump, but still.

If the bar is in the floor 4chan would trip over it and tumblr would complain that asking them to step over is ableist.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

As I read this thread, I'm becoming slowly more convinced that the shitposting 4chan Kek-worshipers had done more research on their patron deity and had a better underlying theory as to why their "chaos magic" worked than Witchblr can muster up. Granted, it's a low bar to jump, but still.

The kekistani memewizards are at least mostly self aware of what they are edoing, they even refer to it explicitly as discordianism and chaos magick so the tongue in cheek and nature is always present, "is a prank and a edgy satyre just but is it hmmm????" Is interesting the right wingers would end up adopting something that came so far out of left field but it is what it is, they play with those ambiguities. The tumblr witches are ecclectic and behave like meme wizards, it only looks like a parody religion except they do it unironically and that really makes it extra retarded so point for 4 chan i suppose.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

What a sad life.


Aphrodite speaks in emojis?


I've never seen a biological man cast an emoji spell is all I'm going to say.


Or you can just use Pine-Sol for your floor "moping".

 

[NoReturn]

Or you can just use Pine-Sol for your floor "moping".

Witch Tips for Cleaning

• Use antibacterial toilet cleaner and scrub with a toilet brush every month on the third quarter moon so you don't have to reach in and scrub the petrified shit off with a pumice stone later because you were a lazy fuck
• Clean your dryer vents frequently to remove negative energy and prevent your house from burning to the ground
• Place used coffee grounds in a shallow bowl or container and leave it in your fridge or freezer to absorb the negative vibrations and smells emitted by the forgotten takeout you have rotting in the back
• Did you know? Your dishwasher has a filter in it! wow Clean that thing out with soap and water or it will attract curses
• Baking soda is an excellent desiccant. Remember to sprinkle it around your space after you spill your moon water and warp the baseboards in your rental apartment
• Don't clean your familiar's piss with bleach. Cat pee contains ammonia so you'll create magical mustard gas

 

[Captain Hastings Official]

View attachment 1627565
I've never seen a biological man cast an emoji spell is all I'm going to say.

When I first saw this, I legitimately thought the man-with-crown emoji was actually a guy with male pattern baldness, and it cracked me up. The image of all these "trans-masc" girls desperately praying that they grow up to look like Wally from 'Dilbert'...ah, well, reality disappoints again.

 

[Anja Din]

Emoji magic. This is the gayest shit ever.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

Emoji magic. This is the gayest shit ever.

They're just modern day runes dontcha know?

I can somewhat see the thinking behind it, but it comes off as immature and weird.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Maybe Athena is a TERF.


GO TO THE POLICE.


This is the spell she recommended to help with sexual assault. I feel like I don't have to explain why this is bullshit.


Go to an art class.


This is why I recommend that if you truly believe in this witchy shit, (you shouldn't) that you don't interact with other witches.
"Oh no, Aunt Linda didn't like the gift I got her for her bridal shower, guess I'll have to live a life of misery because she's great at hexes!"

 

[Anja Din]

Spoiler

View attachment 1631680
Maybe Athena is a TERF.

View attachment 1631685View attachment 1631686View attachment 1631688
GO TO THE POLICE.

View attachment 1631690View attachment 1631691
This is the spell she recommended to help with sexual assault. I feel like I don't have to explain why this is bullshit.

View attachment 1631694
Go to an art class.

View attachment 1631696View attachment 1631697View attachment 1631698View attachment 1631699View attachment 1631701View attachment 1631702View attachment 1631703
This is why I recommend that if you truly believe in this witchy shit, (you shouldn't) that you don't interact with other witches.
"Oh no, Aunt Linda didn't like the gift I got her for her bridal shower, guess I'll have to live a life of misery because she's great at hexes!"

1. Why was trannywitch so concerned about a spell for squashing “rumors” instead of telling that assaulted chick to go to the cops? didn’t even ask if she did that.
2. On that shitty drawing, she says “fatty” is sexist. How the fuck is “fatty” sexist? You can be a male fatty. What a retard.
3. fuck that witch drama shit is gay.

 

[verygayFrogs]

just saw this and had to share here.

Apparently an uber stereotypical sjw witch from tumblr made a post about stealing bones from a cemetery in New Orleans to do spells and tried selling them a sjw queer witch group on facebook.
So get this, the group had a rule of no "witch shaming" so no one was questioning her practices or anything, what caused controversy wasnt her stealing and desecrating bones to do necromancy or that she was selling bones she stole (people were even interested), it was that those bones came from a graveyard from an area that had a lot of poor black people buried and what he was doing was against poc and that reason alone caused someone to leak the info of what she was doing

Lesson here: stealing bones from other people´s family members to do voodoo is GOOD but only if you are POC, white karens gtfo reeeee

I think we've covered that in an earlier post but different video.

Also I am so excited to see what new shit comes up because October is tomorrow

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Also I am so excited to see what new shit comes up because October is tomorrow

i expect lots of Trump hexing this Halloween.

 

[lemonsensei]

i expect lots of Trump hexing this Halloween.

When you summon the godhand with emojis to smite the mighty orange man.

 

[Parthenos]

i expect lots of Trump hexing this Halloween.

Because that worked out so well last time...

 

[LTO Data Cartridge]

Because that worked out so well last time...

Too many nazi warlocks on counter-hex duty. We'll get him this time though!

 

[draculasestateagent]

Tomorrow is october 1st so i’m expecting lots of “samhain” or halloween witchy cringe posts - looking at you to provide fuzzyrodent

 

[A Sign]

This is why I recommend that if you truly believe in this witchy shit, (you shouldn't) that you don't interact with other witches.
"Oh no, Aunt Linda didn't like the gift I got her for her bridal shower, guess I'll have to live a life of misery because she's great at hexes!"

Translation of reddit: Oh no! my totes real friend said if I don't start hating myself and picking out a cool hip gender they will accept they will hate me! what do I do guys? how do I start to hate myself for being an icky straight white girl and become a cool hip trans PoC WoC genderflux transboi?

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Notice how it doesn't say anything about school or work.


What's the green stuff?


Lol the pentagram is asymmetrical and the cat doesn't have a nose.


It's obvious from the picture that it's $13 tattoo, you don't have to tell us.


These people shouldn't be burning anything without a mature adult accompanying them.


The thing in the middle kind of looks like a sperm.

 

[NoReturn]

Pumpkin harvest!
It begins:

Spoiler: general

Spoiler: Ruined a perfectly good crystal is what you did

Rose Quartz Smoking Pipe

Spoiler: the greek gods

Olympus

Who tf is the one next to Hermes supposed to be? Eris?

Spoiler: #witches against white supremacy

And finally, palate-cleanser sanity

Spoiler: a horrifying story about essential oils

Spoiler: Minerals

Don't lick

Spoiler: general

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Refuse:

This is just cute:

And cool:

 

[NoReturn]

Notice how it doesn't say anything about school or work.

Feel the NEETdom, Kronk!

The thing in the middle kind of looks like a sperm.

And the outside squiggles are the labia.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

Witchblr is going crazy about the Trump Covid thing. When you combine the constant curses Witchblr was throwing at him with the celebration of lefties for him getting it, something truly m a g i c a l happens.

Spoiler: WE CAN NOT AFFORD TO BE PLAYING POLITE ABOUT OUR ABILITIES ][ATTACH type="full

If the Secret Service busts through their door and arrests them for trying to kill Trump, do you think they'd admit they're all playing pretend?
Or do you think their illusions are strong enough that they're all truly praying for the death of their political opponent?

Spoiler: Full moon is here, let's seal the deal

Spoiler: Who could this possibly be about?

Along with dozens of "Lol whoever hexed Trump good job XD" posts.

It can't be overstated that these people can't be trusted with any sort of power, and it is probably a good thing for everyone that most are worthless NEETS.