Dax Herrera / Dick Masterson / Daxipad / Juju The Cow / Wolfie / The Dick Show (TDS), The Biggest Problem in the Universe (TBPITU) / New Project 2 - Balding least funny contrarian paedophile defender in the universe, "women are fat" jokes virtuoso, e-daddy of Sektards, chaser and cross-species roleplay sodomy enthusiast. Roleplays as a cow named Juju while he gets fucked in the anus by women. Fat.

[4inchaverage]

Did a bit of checking and it turns out Ashe Coffin used to be fat, hence the horrifically saggy tits. She has serious body image issues hence the catfishing and e-thottery, she reeeeeeally wants to feel pretty. At some point she got breast implants which is probably for the best (those are some real sad sacks) and now all she does is literally upload photos of her huge new tits onto the Internet. That and communism sperging/daddy issues.


lol no one cares or needs to know that tbh

just not buying the OH MY GOD EW GROSS act here is really my point

 

[Jack Awful]

Did a bit of checking and it turns out Ashe Coffin used to be fat, hence the horrifically saggy tits. She has serious body image issues hence the catfishing and e-thottery, she reeeeeeally wants to feel pretty. At some point she got breast implants which is probably for the best (those are some real sad sacks) and now all she does is literally upload photos of her huge new tits onto the Internet. That and communism sperging/daddy issues.

Explains why Dax is trying to hit that. Severe mental health issues is like the fucking Bat Signal to Dax to try and stick his dick in something.


lol no one cares or needs to know that tbh

Ash is the ex wife of Peter Coffin, a leftist YouTube game critic guy who has a thread here and is notable for using photos of a blowup doll to pretend he has a GF, and she bases her personality around communism and having big tits.

She also had a kid with Peter, which you think would repel Dax, but w/e.

 

[AnOminous]

Did a bit of checking and it turns out Ashe Coffin used to be fat, hence the horrifically saggy tits. She has serious body image issues hence the catfishing and e-thottery, she reeeeeeally wants to feel pretty.

Only someone with serious issues could possibly think it was a good idea to get knocked up by a loser like Peter Coffin.

She also had a kid with Peter, which you think would repel Dax, but w/e.

A kid who got nicknamed "Toilet Nigga" as a baby by the chans.

 

[TheSimpShow]

just not buying the OH MY GOD EW GROSS act here is really my point

Let's be objective here, I'm pretty sure she has a deep male sounding mush-mouth, those tits look like they are stapled on, she has a body that looks like an upside down mushroom, the eyes of a bunny boiler, more nudes than a playboy back catalogue. Should I expand on this list?

 

[Bad Take Crucifier]

Only someone with serious issues could possibly think it was a good idea to get knocked up by a loser like Peter Coffin.

Dax wants this guy's sloppy seconds, too. Incredible.

Soy beyond parody. Why do they always want to impersonate the Joker?

 

[4inchaverage]

Let's be objective here, I'm pretty sure she has a deep male sounding mush-mouth, those tits look like they are stapled on, she has a body that looks like an upside down mushroom, the eyes of a bunny boiler, more nudes than a playboy back catalogue. Should I expand on this list?

Look man, I hate saying this because it's usually what fat bitches say to justify being fat but: Have you seen big tits irl? They kinda just look like that.

 

[TheSimpShow]

Look man, I hate saying this because it's usually what fat bitches say to justify being fat but: Have you seen big tits irl? They kinda just look like that.

I hate to say it but if the only big tits you've seen IRL look like that, then I feel sorry for you. Pert big tits exist, I've experienced them plenty.

 

[AnOminous]

Dax wants this guy's sloppy seconds, too. Incredible.

Soy beyond parody. Why do they always want to impersonate the Joker?
View attachment 1633627

There has rarely been a soy golem more deserving of the title Backpfeifengesicht, that is, a face desperately in need of a fist.

Imagine sinking so low that you're sniffing around this guy's leavings. What pure cuckoldry.

 

[Jack Awful]

There has rarely been a soy golem more deserving of the title Backpfeifengesicht, that is, a face desperately in need of a fist.

He was literally featured as guest vocals on a song titled "Beta as Fuck".

 

[4inchaverage]

I hate to say it but if the only big tits you've seen IRL look like that, then I feel sorry for you. Pert big tits exist, I've experienced them plenty.

That's why we're here on KF! I'm sure the hoe is terrible but her titties are what I expect of a woman in her late twenties.

 

[AnOminous]

He was literally featured as guest vocals on a song titled "Beta as Fuck".

It's as bad as you would expect, too.

 

[Bad Take Crucifier]

It's as bad as you would expect, too.

He was literally featured as guest vocals on a song titled "Beta as Fuck".

At this exact moment he's also having an autistic slapfight with Moviebob. This song could not be more fitting.

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1311359836471414784

https://twitter.com/petercoffin/status/1311485232080707585

 

[Faalbian]

It's as bad as you would expect, too.

Cringe...

View attachment 1633588

I'd motorboat them titties.

 

[Popper Whiting]

just not buying the OH MY GOD EW GROSS act here is really my point

If you like women with obvious mileage on them then that's all good bro. No judgement on my part.

A kid who got nicknamed "Toilet Nigga" as a baby by the chans.

Fuck, not meaning to power level but I can explain exactly why the kid got called Toilet Nigga. When the kid was born, and in his first year of life Ashleigh and Peter would always take these really fucking awkard pictures of the kid and the kid always had this weird expression on it's face in every single one. When /cow/ was doing a deep dive in Peter Coffin's life and getting all conspiratorial with it, the same expression was noted and discussed, when one anon made the observation that Ashleigh and Peter's kid's expression was exactly the same as the child in this image.

One /cow/boy remarked that the kid did indeed have the same expression as the Toilet Nigga, and the name kinda stuck, especially as Peter Coffin reacted to it, which just spurred people on to use it even more.

I legit feel sorry for the kid. Due to having both parents as desperate poorly functioning lolcows he got dubbed with that nickname even before he could walk. With Ash now desperate for online attention and openly flirting with the likes of Dax, and similar e-figures, one can only imagine the fucked up parade of psuedo-step dads this poor little bugger is going to have to go through now Ashleigh gave Peter the boot.

 

[TheSimpShow]

If you like women with obvious mileage on them then that's all good bro. No judgement on my part.

Fuck, not meaning to power level but I can explain exactly why the kid got called Toilet Nigga. When the kid was born, and in his first year of life Ashleigh and Peter would always take these really fucking awkard pictures of the kid and the kid always had this weird expression on it's face in every single one. When /cow/ was doing a deep dive in Peter Coffin's life and getting all conspiratorial with it, the same expression was noted and discussed, when one anon made the observation that Ashleigh and Peter's kid's expression was exactly the same as the child in this image.


View attachment 1633694

One /cow/boy remarked that the kid did indeed have the same expression as the Toilet Nigga, and the name kinda stuck, especially as Peter Coffin reacted to it, which just spurred people on to use it even more.

I legit feel sorry for the kid. Due to having both parents as desperate poorly functioning lolcows he got dubbed with that nickname even before he could walk. With Ash now desperate for online attention and openly flirting with the likes of Dax, and similar e-figures, one can only imagine the fucked up parade of psuedo-step dads this poor little bugger is going to have to go through now Ashleigh gave Peter the boot.

Dax is really gunning to become Dad Herrera for real.

Imagine the absolute shit-fit Marie will have if Dax starts fucking this flan-titted haggis-gut full time, especially if he takes the kid out for ice cream and shit.

 

[Popper Whiting]

Dax is really gunning to become Dad Herrera for real.

Imagine the absolute shit-fit Marie will have if Dax starts fucking this flan-titted haggis-gut full time, especially if he takes the kid out for ice cream and shit.

Why get your own kid when you can steal one from a lolcow from Utah who desperately wants to be an online comedian? I mean it worked for the fuckable doormat why wouldn't it work for a son?

 

[Sped Xing]

This thread is getting weird. I'm not mad at Asleigh coffin larping as a 6/10 when she has a 5/10 body and a 1/10 personality. Come to think of it, doesn't that add up?

And, more on topic, I don't think Dax sucks because he isn't really "totally rawdogging randoms every night." He sucks because he's more than halfway through his life expectancy and still thinks that's something to aspire to be.

 

[George Cuckzunian]

STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSES MOUTH NP2 WAS SHUT DOWN FOR SUSPICION OF MONEY LAUNDERING NOT VIOLATING STANDARDS

found the clip again that Dax tried to memory hole anyone wanna clip it and save a copy

 

[2021Murder]

STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSES MOUTH NP2 WAS SHUT DOWN FOR SUSPICION OF MONEY LAUNDERING NOT VIOLATING STANDARDS

found the clip again that Dax tried to memory hole anyone wanna clip it and save a copy

BUT HOW DO WE KNOW IT WAS SHUT DOWN FOR THAT DONT YOU KNOW HES A COMEDIAN. IM JUST A LAWYER AND FATHER AND PARENT SO I CANT SAY IF DAX IS OR IS NOT A PIECE OF SHIT

EDIT: HOW DARE YOU SAY IM LYING I'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE THIS ENTIRE TIME AND TRUTHFUL AS WELL. BY EVEN QUESTIONING ME THAT MUST MEAN YOU ARE IN FACT THE LIAR; YEAH THATS THE TICKET!!

 

[Bad Take Crucifier]

Yeah Dax it totally sounds better to say it's all the Patriot Act's fault. Sounds much better when you say they're trying to nail you for money laundering to get rid of you, as opposed to just them getting rid of you for being a huge piece of shit and a tool.