Andrew Stallings may not have been the most productive cow around, but he was the most instructive one. His every decision in life was the most conflict-averse, low-effort decision possible.
Go on a diet to keep yourself from becoming another early headstone in the McDonald's Mausoleum? Nah, just declare yourself "Healthy at any size!" and avoid doctors like you avoid vegetables.
Find a reasonably attractive woman who treats you with respect and who wouldn't think of cheating on you? Nah, just marry a ham graveyard who'll take your V-card and give you a bimonthly handjob in exchange for you helping her prep the bull on your wedding night.
Join a political party that values hard work and furthers unity in America? Nah, just become a hard left SJW who screeches about the great Orange Satan and promises to wage jihad against any online entity that pokes fun at your all too serious nature.
The sad thing is, this need not have happened. All Stallings had to do was put some effort into his life and stop blaming other people for the things that he had control over. But sadly, it was not to be. And now the only thing he is notorious for is for being so remarkable at being nothing, that people are actually remarking about how much of a nothing he was. Let this be a lesson for you, people.
sounds boring.
