Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[FrankTheSpank]

I was going to say I really wish this is satire, but it's clear that Lowtax lacks any amount of self-awareness.
It speaks volumes that for the first time in ages Rich is facing a very real risk of going bankrupt in the near future, and instead of looking for a more consistant source of income that doesn't entirely rely on his image and the kindness of strangers on the internet, the guy's spent the last few days trying to figure out the best way to milk the very few people who still like and support him for the next year or two.

I do like that he's forced to aim for the extremely specific demografic of "people who remember the shit I made in the early 2000s but haven't followed me since then", though. I guess he can't be the world's least active website owner anymore, so might as well settle for the world's least effective con artist.

.....have you ever seen PewDiePie? Twitch thot’s? What’s the name of that Fortnite guy that tried to get everyone to “floss” (dance) on New Years, “Ninja”?

All of them millionaires, MILLIONAIRES god damnit, all of them equally worthless. Lowtax basically invented being worthless on the internet but failed to capitalize on it in a real way, take whatever excuse you want for that, lazy, stupid, egotistical etc. He felt he was doing alright, he brought in enough money to start a family and live in a nice house, got to fuck fans of his and real legends in the entertainment industry like Mike Nelson from MST3K saw him as leading the next “new big thing” (the internet) and collaborated with him, all for doing NOTHING. Look how powerful SomethingAwful was back in the day, we all thought we could buy an aircraft carrier or an island. Can you imagine what that would do to the mind (ego) of someone Lowtax’s age (maturity)? He must of felt like a God. As stupid as that might sound, he must of felt invincible.

 

[sperginity]

Not really, you pretty much just stamp whatever's brought to you to witness signatures on

It isn't that simple. If you have any criminal record you cannot become a notary, and they do a thorough background check. Lowtax's credit, and his history as revealed by legal documents, would both pose a huge problem if he wanted to be a notary. Most of the time you have to pass a test to ensure that you can keep records that are adequate for a court's purposes. Notaries have to keep meticulous records and verify a lot of information before giving it a stamp. They are liable for their fuck ups, and it is not worth it to do the job if you aren't well suited for it because it doesn't pay a whole lot.

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

Doom House 4: Doom Homeless.

Doom House 5: Doomed Crack Begging.

 

[Sabrina]

Being a notary public is literally "government: serious business"

 

[TurdFondler]

Popular streamers like ninja and pewdz are charismatic, actually like and engage with their fan base and are legitimate entertainers. Taxman is a useless shell of a man.

 

[tantric_depressive]

Doom House 3 will be a horror movie where you see Richard on an opiate high stumble around in the house to snack on some Goldbelly cookies and the horrifying screams he makes when he has to take a massive opiate shit.

Lowtax’ stream chat would be dead if not for the chat mods. He got two $4.99 super chats in a 2 1/2 hour stream. Both from chat mod Mandy G

Mandi's trying to get the female lead in Lowsax's upcoming, semi-authobiographal Kickstarter™ DOOMHOUSE™

Doom House 2: Ashli
"A woman is trapped in a house with a man who beats her."

Doom House 3: Logan
"A woman is trapped in a house with a man who beats her."

Ultimate Doomehouse™ : The Fourth & Final Doomening in Doomed in the Big House™ *fingers crossed & rainbow wishes*

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

Crossposting from the SomethingAwful thread. Jeffrey of YOSPOS, proud new owner of Something Awful, is having a jolly good time trying to manage the place. He permabanned a popular goon out of nowhere, doubled down because Lucy posted some mean words about trannies once so I have no choice y'all, and now he's facing his first goon revolt. His response, so far, has been to run away like a little bitch.

If Richard is watching the trashfire and giggling wildly, I'll let him take that W.

 

[AnOminous]

If Richard is watching the trashfire and giggling wildly, I'll let him take that W.

I hope he's washing down a Goldbelly pie with some mangosteen, with money Jeffrey of POZ gave him for a worthless website, laughing his ass off at that cucked fool.

 

[TinyKitty]

Crossposting from the SomethingAwful thread. Jeffrey of YOSPOS, proud new owner of Something Awful, is having a jolly good time trying to manage the place. He permabanned a popular goon out of nowhere, doubled down because Lucy posted some mean words about trannies once so I have no choice y'all, and now he's facing his first goon revolt. His response, so far, has been to run away like a little bitch.

If Richard is watching the trashfire and giggling wildly, I'll let him take that W.

Lowtax might not be, but I am

 

[Hybrid Icing]

If Richard is watching the trashfire and giggling wildly, I'll let him take that W.

Oh my god, it's almost like...

VINDICATION

 

[Sabrina]

Doomhouse 3: The Other Mandy

 

[Dyn]

BTW the guy interviewing her (sorry, I’m new here, don’t know everyone yet) did a REALLY good job staying neutral in this interview, is he available to moderate some presidential debates?

@Null people genuinely enjoy your streams and appreciate you for more than just being the fat weirdo who keeps letting us post nigger jokes on his forum no matter how many knife-wielding trannies and based McKenzie Friends try to have you arrested for terrorism.

I don't say this often enough but thank you again for continuing to not be even remotely similar to lowtax.

 

[Ex Cummunicated Sasser HD]

Stroke survivors.

Lowtax and Jack Scalfani crossover when?

 

[Spedestrian]

To think, lowtax blew loads on and licked up all these girls feet.

What a legacy to leave his children.

Thankfully he left most of his children on those women's feet, so it's just the few loads he shot too high that have to live with his legacy.

 

[repentance]

 

[DisobedientLupus]

You know what's in Atlanta? Adult Swim HQ. With how shit [as] has become he'd be a great show writer for them.

Or

There's some fine young feet that need a good sniffin'. I bet the humidity creates a quite pungent smell.

 

[Dan Abrams]

You know what's in Atlanta? Adult Swim HQ. With how shit [as] has become he'd be a great show writer for them.

Or

There's some fine young feet that need a good sniffin'. I bet the humidity creates a quite pungent smell.

He's taking his story to CNN to finally get VINDICATED. People all across the country will finally know of Lowtax's VINDICATION.

 

[dance dance if you want]

Must be time to pick up the next wife.

 

[AnOminous]

@Null people genuinely enjoy your streams and appreciate you for more than just being the fat weirdo who keeps letting us post nigger jokes on his forum no matter how many knife-wielding trannies and based McKenzie Friends try to have you arrested for terrorism.

I don't say this often enough but thank you again for continuing to not be even remotely similar to lowtax.

This plus he's a complete faggot.

 

[Pissmaster]

Yeah, so the girl in the pink is “elfp0rn”, right? I had two pics of her in my “Comedy Gold” folder, LOL

View attachment 1666541

View attachment 1666543
What ever happened to her? Was she underage or was that a rumor? That picture above is fucked up. People got banned for stupid shit but not being pedo’s like that “straightrazor” dude?!

Elfpr0n's claim to fame is being a girl on the internet who acted slutty (just look at all that eyeliner). She posted nudes at some point that goons passed around in goonporn.zip, which were long since eradicated from the zip because apparently she really was underage at the time.

I think that's about it. I never heard anything else about her later in life, and she was inactive by the time I joined. But I guess she stands as a testament to how creepy goons have always been - they built her up so much that we're discussing this random teenage girl that flirted around, like, 17 years after the fact.

Maybe if this guy was relaxing from a tough job or something but this is a guy who literally got nearly ten grand a month for doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. Name a single thing this Eraserhead looking faggot did for nearly 20 years.

And he couldn't even learn to make his own pie? This isn't hard shit. Well, the crust part is. But seriously he's still an utter bitch.

All he had to do to keep it all was just not smack his bitch up.

You know, some people spend their entire lives working as hard as they can, only to have some seriously unfair circumstances ruin their lives, because that's just how the world works. Or even worse, not even get a chance to start, like those horrible Epstein Island situations. There are countless ways a person's luck can suddenly take an inescapable turn for the worse, and it can happen at any time.

But if Lowtax's life were a P&P RPG, his player rolled a perfect luck stat, and she's a hot girl the DM's thirsty ass is horndogging over. It's fucking unbelievable what he ended up with, and how long he managed to be a piece of shit while still living large.