I wish they would just come over here and kill me, get it over with instead of making me suffer. That's the hardest part. Knowing that your existence is a mere joke to them. That your nothing but an insect compared to them. It's like just euthanize me already.
They are starved of normal healthy sexual contact, so they cope by fantasizing about more extreme/humiliating things to cope.
Hoarding, poor conditions, bedbugs, neglect, beatings and drinking when I was a kid. Kicking me when I was 3 until I was on the floor. Calling me a retard when doing homework and making a move as if to hit me. Using military training to choke me and shove me into the ground and beat me. Shoving and holding me underwater in the pool until I nearly drowned to death. Gaslighting, emotional manipluation. Paying more attention to the pets then the actual wellbeing of children.
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say I can see by your social behavior you grew up in a lacking environment, but where I start to err is you played that exact “gaslighting sociopath” card on me when the most I did was laugh at you for being a tard. For all we know and care how do we know you don’t play victim every time someone inconveniences you/ tries to call you out on your behavior?
How is it gross to enjoy a woman's musky scents? This isn't even like a borderline thing.
It could be true but I honestly can't tell anymore. That's just how I feel.
So you don’t even know your own backstory?
Maybe gaslighting is the wrong word. It's more like guilt tripping.
No, it's more of a religious thing.
I guess I do worship them. If they say that I'm a useless piece of shit. I guess that's what I am then. The problem is they don't hate me. They just feel contempt and pity for me. That's the worst part. That's what hurts the most. They just laugh at me and let me suffer. instead of murdering me and letting my pain go away forever
I don't give a single fuck if you huff shit or paint just stop sperging and telling everyone you do.
I think it's a little fucking too late for that. How long is this thread? 8 pages already?
I can't hide the self hatred and shame I feel for having this. I want it to go away. I want someone to make it go away forever.
I mean there’s definitely therapy for that as well as something you can do; orgasm reconditioning basically means you find some other porn you like to nut to and focus on that instead. That’s how sexual therapists recondition people with maladaptive kinks. You can focus on something else, a hobby and be more productive with your time.
