Okay, now that I actually know what I'm doing now, it only took me a few minutes to get back to where I was. Also that random bedroom was WEST, not EAST. I was really tired, apparently. I also have a shit sense of direction to begin with. That's why I like games with maps. But whatever.
In my inventory, I have:
- a pack of cigarettes
- a mysterious potion
- a bag
- a
newspaper spare blanket
- & a pillow.
Okay. Now I'm gonna. . .do. . .something. I guess I'll go EAST this time.
>GO EAST AGAIN
WHOA WHAT
OKAY SURE
Logic dictates that he must be in the EAST ROOM. Therefore, I will go WEST. Because fuck you is why. I DO WHAT I WANT, GAME
>GO WEST, YOUNG BOLDY
>GO WEST AGAIN
Uh.
>GO WEST A BUNCH MORE TIMES
Okay?
>KEEP GOING WEST UNTIL YOU GET OUT OF THE DIFFERENTLY-COLORED HALLWAY
Wait, what?
I guess I just made a big circle.
Somehow.
Fuck, which way was the dude? Eh, I'll find him.
>GO NORTH
Oh, I think this was the room I was in before. How did continuously going WEST from here cause me to loop back in the room SOUTH of me?
Fucking directions, how do they work?
Anyway, since I know where I am now, I'm gonna explore further NORTH.
>GO NORTH AGAIN
Oh, whoa, okay!
>EYEBALL BIRD STATUE
ALRIGHT FINE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING IN THIS ROOM APPARENTLY
>GO SOUTH, THEN EAST
Hahaha, awww! He looks so cute! & like he's trying to figure out what went wrong & how he wound up in Rani's game. Poor guy. I love the stereotypically-seventies-style dress. & how he casts a perfectly-square shadow.
. . .actually, wait, isn't this supposed to be a fantasy-type game? Then why do we have a fairly-modernly-dressed guy here? Especially when the guards look like Templar knights?
If what
@Jaimas mentioned before is any indication, probably because this poor guy is a "borrowed" sprite.
Come to think of it, now that I'm looking at the inventory bar again, none of the items look like they were designed by the same person. Except maybe the bag & the blanket. I don't know what the fuck's going on with that pillow, though.
The puzzles seem pretty benign thus far, but okay.
OOOH! OOOH! I know what to do here!
wow
rude
YOU'RE WELCOME
Well, I have a rod, now. I guess that means I go back to the bird room & use the rod on the statue.
ooooooh
okay now what
Alright, I guess that was it, then.
BACKTRACKING WOOO
Still can't do anything in this room. I thought I could use the rod to pry open the weapons case, but no dice.
>BACKTRACK SOME MORE
Back at the beginning. I guess the one place I haven't gone yet is NORTH?
>GO NORTH AGAIN
Ooooh! New room! With. . . a well?
OOOH OOOH I WANNA SEE WHAT'S IN THE WELL
I assume "D" means. . .down? Like, down the well? So maybe it leads somewhere?
OR IT COULD JUST BE A REGULAR WELL & I JUST JUMPED TO MY DEATH
OKAY THAT'S COOL
>GO WEST FROM WELL ROOM
who the fuck is the evil demon wizard Anarkull
how do we even know he's evil
or his name
or that this is his room
Also I keep reading "Anar-kull" as "Arak-null"
Araknull
Arak
HE'S THE EVIL DEMON WIZARD Arak
@Null NOW
BECAUSE I SAID SO
IT IS NOW CANON
>EYEBALL NULL'S ROOM
"dear diary
I wish that dumb bitch
@BOLDYSPICY! would stop tagging me in posts
niggers"
Holy shit, you guys!
@Connor was right! Null
is evil!
The old man's probably dead by now. Or not. I'll probably find him &/or his body somewhere.
pfffffffft
nice cop out, Rani
>FONDLE THINGS IN ARAKNULL'S ROOM
I bet there's something behind that conspicuously-empty bookshelf---
OH FUCK YOU, GAME
>CHECK OUT ROOM EAST OF WELL
A burning
brassiere brazier, huh.
Is that. . .it?
Just something on---
HAHAHA WAIT WHAT
I CAN GO
IN THE FIRE
I'M GONNA GO IN THE FIRE
IT'S GONNA GO GREAT
I DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE
YOUR LIFE
Since there's nothing else here, I guess I'll go back to the well room.
\m/ HEAVY METAL \m/
okay now how do I open this shit
I can't pull it
the random gem doesn't do anything
I can't throw the pillow at it
maybe if I use the bag it has some magic fairy dust or some bullshit
what
what
who the fuck is Joe
what's going on
I'm so confused
WHOA HI AMBIGUOUSLY-GENDERED NINJA ASSASSIN
CAN'T WE JUST TALK THIS OUT
WHOA
WHOA
WHOA
UNCALLED FOR
I guess I'll
uh
try to attack him or something
>USE PILLOW(?)
Yeah, I knew that wasn't going to do anythingOH
OH
OH I HAD TO USE THE
POTION
wow I am really dumb
what is my deal
I ATTACK HIM WITH THE PILLOWwait what
where could he have possibly gone
Well, at least I have another item.
. . .No idea what the fuck I'm supposed to use it for, though.
Maybe I use it on the brazier?
Which does nothing.
What if I use the bag of molten fairy dust or something
OH
OH
OH WOW
I TOTALLY DID THAT BACKWARDS
WHY DO I ALWAYS DO SHIT BACKWARDS
Like, I'll play Zelda, right? Any Zelda game.
I'll usually get all the shit, like the compass & the dungeon item & the boss key, right?
& then I find the dungeon map last.
Always.
Somehow.
It makes zero sense.
Okay, I forgot to cap this next part, because I spent the next twenty minutes wandering around the dungeon like a dumbfuck, & I kept exploding myself because I thought I could there was more shit in ArakNull's room, but I wound up looping back to the room with the well in the middle. Thinking I was missing something, I thought I'd go back to the room where the ninja assassin was. But for some reason I had to use Joe the Fire Elemental to melt the \m/ HEAVY METAL \m/ doors again.
WAIT
WHAT
WHERE DID YOU
WHAT
FUCK WHAT DO I DO
I ALREADY USED THE POTION
ALL I HAVE IS AN EMPTY BOTTLE
FUCK
JOE HELP ME
OH
FUCK
ME
yeah yeah whatever continue
OH
COME ON
WHY WOULD YOU START ME
HERE
OKAY NOW I KNOW WHAT THE "RESET" BUTTON IS FOR
IT'S FOR WHEN YOU GET STUCK IN AN INFINITE LOOP OF DEATH
WOW THANKS RANI
