TIFU: by downloading Hinge - 29(F) Worst date of my life complete with blood, dead dogs, accidentally getting stoned, car wouldn’t start, man with a purse, and now I might have bedbugs.
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Some background - I have an 8 month old daughter and I just decided that I was ready to start dating again. I am sober and do not use drugs.
I met a man on Hinge, he lives 50ish minutes away from me. We went on a date last weekend and it was amazing. Fun, solid sense of humor (or so I thought...) good conversation, lots of chemistry. So we agreed to a second date.
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Last night I drove to his house and things were going well for a couple hours. Shortly before I was going to leave, he went to the bathroom. My juul was dead and I saw his laying there so I took a huge rip of it. First fuck up. Not nicotine. Some kind of liquid marijuana for sure. I told him what had happened and he asked me if I wanted to hurry and leave to “beat the high home” and I knew that wasn’t possible. So I decided to stay the night until early morning when I was not high. He didn’t seem terribly happy about this because he said his pillows were embarrassing. They were. Stained, crusty, and dirty. Whatever.
I. Got. So. Stoned. I noticed white dog hair all over my pants, so I made a comment about it. He said, “oh it’s probably from my dog, Sugar!” This name was hilarious in my stoned mind so I was cackling like a fool. He then said he had the dog since he was a child.....well, he did. Second fuck up. The dog had died weeks prior. He was very visibly upset, but I could not stop laughing... another strike.
We laid down to sleep and things were getting hot and heavy. He whispered into my ear that I was “so wet and felt so good”. Then I realized what was happening. My first period since having my child had hit. He turned on the lights and it looked like a murder scene. There was a bloody half handprint on the pillow even. He was disgusted and ran to the bathroom. I started crying and laughing at the same time. When he came back, he said he didn’t have any other sheets so he laid down towels on the bed to sleep on. I was mortified. Third fuck up.
This morning at 6:30am, I quietly left his house. When I got to my car, it wouldn’t shift into gear. Completely stuck. I panicked and went back up to his door. It was locked. I text him - message went green. He had locked me out of his house and blocked my number in a span of 7-8 minutes. Fourth fuck up.
I then sat in my car, sitting in front of his house and called my mother to come pick me up. I had to wait an hour outside his house for my mother and daughter to arrive. While sitting in my car, hiding slouched down, a man with a cowboy hat and a large purse came and stood outside my window staring at me for 10-15 minutes. This was not a nice area. I took a photo of him, just in case.
Shortly before my mom got there, I noticed an Orkin truck pull into the driveway and a man get out. The exterminator went straight to his door and went inside. This was the icing on the cake.
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The worst part is, I have to return tomorrow to get my car towed. He has no idea why it’s still sitting there and I am dreading any possible interaction.
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TLDR: Accidentally got stoned, had a bloody sleepover, car wouldn’t start, man with a purse was funny, and now I might have bedbugs. There will not be a third date.
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EDIT: edited to add photos of Orkin man and purse man (did not upload close up for his privacy....lol)
https://imgur.com/a/TV4KaFp
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EDIT EDIT: thank you for the awards! A few things - 1. I did have permission to hit the juul, he said I could when mine first died. He just thought I knew what was in it and I assumed I did too. 2. I did apologize to him. Profusely. I am not a monster. 3. Sex activates menstrual bleeding. I did not knowingly deceive him in any way, nor would I ever. 4. Don’t tell any parent, ever, that they don’t deserve a break from their child. Parents are people too. We exist apart from our children too. Especially when she is with me 99% of the time.
EDIT EDIT EDIT: Please know, I do not think this man is an asshole. I would’ve handled things very differently if the roles were reversed, but we all deal with things in our own way. The moral of the story was not that he is an asshole. He was just as miserable if not more than I was, I’m sure
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