šŸ· Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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FM Bradley said:
As far as what kind of men drink it...I guess "pretentious faggot" covers it? I'm not even saying that to insult Gunt, even if it clearly applies. I can't waste words on the kind of man that purchases and drinks Makers. It's sickly sweetness means it's popular with the sloppier bar-hopper girls.

What I will waste words on is a weird quirk of the booze industry.

If you know an experienced bartender and pick their brain, they'll tell you of least one lower-priced bourbon out there that's better, and not as sickly-sweet. An old bar coworker explained that X brand of cheap whiskey (the stuff the bars put in the "speed rack" that's referred to as "well whiskey" and is what you get if you order a base-price mixed drink and don't specify a preferred brand of booze in it) is actually out of the same barrels as higher priced Y whiskey, in many instances.

I remember Beam 8 Star being one such, speaking of bourbons, if you're into that shit. It's actually from the same barrels as some other more expensive and heavily marketed bourbon (that ISN'T Jim Beam, oddly enough) whose name I can't recall. They just put 8 Star in a bottle/label that screams of soup kitchens and Greyhound stations, and sell it in mass quantities to bars and the ghetto corner liquor stores. Due to it not being marketed, Jim Beam (or whatever conglomerate that owns them) makes the same amount of money on it. It's actually a pretty canny revenue diversification type thing, where they'll make more on either end, depending on market demand.

Also, suck my dick, Gunt, we know you are drinking cheaper shit anyway, whether you show the bottle on air or not. You broke, broken, gunted liquorfag.

Basically, what you're paying for when you pay for Makers is a rubbery red glop of fuck ostentatiously dribbled over the lid. It's a cool Christmas or birthday gift because it looks nice and drinks okay. Just okay. It's hype.

If a bottle is purchased for you, accept it graciously and with gratitude. They tried.

If you're a woman at a bar and it's purchased for you without you asking for it, get that rape whistle shined up and ready to go, and do not leave your drink unattended.



I envision a Carlos Castenada-esque, eating peyote with the natives kind of Gunt Spirit Quest if I were to drink a bottle of Makers...entering Gunt World. Visiting the Gunt Dimension.

...and no one wants that, which means I'll stick to filtered vodka should I tumble off the wagon and join you in drunkenness that night.
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Vodka avoids the sugars and congeners for sure. What is a filtered vodka though?
 
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Burger Fox said:
I believe its called Crystal Skull, something about using diamonds to filter it lmao

Imagine if Gunt slammed vodka instead of MM, Faith woulda been home a long time ago.
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Dan Akroyd helped design the bottle so Crystal Skull has to be good. Quite a marketing idea replete with an annoying landing page.

Edit: How does a vodka processed with "five distillations and seven filtrations", and passed through HerpDerp diamonds have "...delicate floral aromas with a subtle hint of anise. Warm with strong peppercorn notes and a touch of sweetness". Sounds like New Age bullshit.
 
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Neko GF said:
Moar lockdown sperging:
View attachment 1749003
https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1331682694917480448 (Archive)
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Dude you just came back from the million maga march where you travled across state assembled with more then 500 thousands people and then you spent most of the time eating or wadling around in clubs without a mask. Where are these slave type restrictions your talking about, what that you canĀ“t see a fucking movie? He sounds like a facebook boomer sperging about masks. Fucking Ralph forcing me to simp for the establisment.
Retards like you are why covid restrictions is a thing thats needed in the first place. So the state doesnt need to pick up the tab of you and your mom dying of covid.

Faith is 100% gone he is now flirting with other chicks on twitter.
1606343896565.png

I can visualise him at his computer. Having a rag wiping the sweat from his red face and licking his lips looking at his next potential victim with hunger in his eyes. Who know maybe shes already a discord moderator, i pray its not to late for this woman or you know.. Shes older then 23 and safe from this predator.
 
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bugfy said:
Dan Akroyd helped design the bottle so Crystal Skull has to be good. Quite a marketing idea replete with an annoying landing page.

Edit: How does a vodka processed with "five distillations and seven filtrations", and passed through HerpDerp diamonds have "...delicate floral aromas with a subtle hint of anise. Warm with strong peppercorn notes and a touch of sweetness". Sounds like New Age bullshit.
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You can't even be an alcoholic anymore, without some pretentious hipster faggot trying to turn your hobby of slowly killing yourself into some gay art piece. What's next craft heroin? Flavoured crack vape?
 
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Kenobi said:
Dude you just came back from the million maga march where you travled across state assembled with more then 500 thousands people and then you spent most of the time eating or wadling around in clubs without a mask. Where are these slave type restrictions your talking about, what that you canĀ“t see a fucking movie? He sounds like a facebook boomer sperging about masks. Fucking Ralph forcing me to simp for the establisment.
Retards like you are why covid restrictions is a thing thats needed in the first place. So the state doesnt need to pick up the tab of you and your mom dying of covid.

Faith is 100% gone he is now flirting with other chicks on twitter.
View attachment 1749180
I can visualise him at his computer. Having a rag wiping the sweat from his red face and licking his lips looking at his next potential victim with hunger in his eyes. Who know maybe shes already a discord moderator, i pray its not to late for this woman or you know.. Shes older then 23 and safe from this predator.
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And of course he's going after a girl much younger than himself and thinking about how she was a child when he was a full grown man. So creepy.
 
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Shakka Ahmose said:
View attachment 1749085
I'm assuming it was this pic from Miami.
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"Gaydur, I'm ready for the wet t-shirt contest!"

bugfy said:
Dan Akroyd helped design the bottle so Crystal Skull has to be good. Quite a marketing idea replete with an annoying landing page.

Edit: How does a vodka processed with "five distillations and seven filtrations", and passed through HerpDerp diamonds have "...delicate floral aromas with a subtle hint of anise. Warm with strong peppercorn notes and a touch of sweetness". Sounds like New Age bullshit.
Click to expand...
Presumably they would add that shit after the filtration? Akroyd's monologues show he has a poor grasp of what he's talking about though. Like when he said that other vodkas have glycol from antifreeze in them.
 
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Kenobi said:
Faith is 100% gone he is now flirting with other chicks on twitter.
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FuzzMushr00m said:
I like how "I wanna know how old you are" is basically the gunt's mating call :gunt:
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The excessive use of "lol" etc is always a dead giveaway
groomer.png
 
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bugfy said:
Dan Akroyd helped design the bottle so Crystal Skull has to be good. Quite a marketing idea replete with an annoying landing page.

Edit: How does a vodka processed with "five distillations and seven filtrations", and passed through HerpDerp diamonds have "...delicate floral aromas with a subtle hint of anise. Warm with strong peppercorn notes and a touch of sweetness". Sounds like New Age bullshit.
Click to expand...

Fools Idol said:
You can't even be an alcoholic anymore, without some pretentious hipster faggot trying to turn your hobby of slowly killing yourself into some gay art piece. What's next craft heroin? Flavoured crack vape?
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Dan Ackroyd is way into conspiracies, the occult, ghosts, aliens, etc. He's frequently on those kinds of shows like Coast to Coast. I assume the vodka bottle is in reference to those crystal skulls that people say aliens left or whatever. Seems like every celebrity has some kind of booze brand these days.

Generally agree about the hipster comment. You just want a drink and these idiots have to come in and fruit it up in more ways than one.
 
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I tried making some content last night and had a few ideas but the effort/payoff for them wasnā€™t worth the time so I didnā€™t follow through. Iā€™ll take a crack at some Faith follow up video in the next few days I need to figure out what format it will be.

The least amount of time/effort I can spend on this gunted fuck the better.

Just a reminder to keep an eye on Faithā€™s social media and YouTube channels. The statement video is still up apparently but if sheā€™s with her parents again, itā€™s only a matter of time before stuff like that gets taken down.
 
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Neko GF said:
Even moar lockdown sperging:
View attachment 1749254
https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1331720411407667202 (Archive)
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Isnā€™t the grocery store packed because people DO care and they are prepping it up?

Id tell him myself but I tried to tweet pics of him touching pantsu @ him and discovered (surprise!) my brand new twitter is blocked.

Btw can any of you guys red pill me on the current faith situation and if the alleged dox and possible gay ops a few pages back led to anything funny yet?
 
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Kenobi said:
Dude you just came back from the million maga march where you travled across state assembled with more then 500 thousands people and then you spent most of the time eating or wadling around in clubs without a mask. Where are these slave type restrictions your talking about, what that you canĀ“t see a fucking movie? He sounds like a facebook boomer sperging about masks. Fucking Ralph forcing me to simp for the establisment.
Retards like you are why covid restrictions is a thing thats needed in the first place. So the state doesnt need to pick up the tab of you and your mom dying of covid.

Faith is 100% gone he is now flirting with other chicks on twitter.
View attachment 1749180
I can visualise him at his computer. Having a rag wiping the sweat from his red face and licking his lips looking at his next potential victim with hunger in his eyes. Who know maybe shes already a discord moderator, i pray its not to late for this woman or you know.. Shes older then 23 and safe from this predator.
Click to expand...

Screenshot from 2020-11-25 16-45-41.png


Advance rebuffed, switch to insults. Classic Ralph.
 
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