The Game Oversimplification Thread - Take any game and intentionally make it sound boring

Duncan Hills Coffee said:
You return to your kingdom that is currently under attack before getting a bad infection in your arm that creates an evil personality.
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Hellblade?

Right. Try this: You and your sister are kidnapped and experimented on by a bloke who has an excessively elaborate plan to prove his undying love for his ex by breaking into her house.

EDIT:

The Last Stand said:
YES!

Black and white and red all over.
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Papers, Please?

For mine: A giant statue knocks down your house so you become a pirate.
 
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Illiterate Wanderer said:
Game 1: My family has a thing about water and I have to help them
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I really can't help but think Psychonauts, but I'm pretty sure that's not right.

On topic: You spend the entire week doing every day chores and menial tasks while dealing with annoying people.
 
1. Hire a bunch of stuttering snowflakes who are one bad wine spill away from going insane to clean up your uncle's mess.

2. You start out killing slimes, and end up fighting space Cthulhu.

3. Do backflips in the air while shotgunning Klansmen in the face.

4. Beat up hobos and druggies with anything you can get your hands on.

5. Choke people with plastic bags while some fat fuck yells at you over an earpiece.

6. Escape prison while some guy made of gas, some guy in the electric chair and Vincent Price psychologically analyse you.
 
Absolute Brainlet said:
1. Hire a bunch of stuttering snowflakes who are one bad wine spill away from going insane to clean up your uncle's mess.

2. You start out killing slimes, and end up fighting space Cthulhu.

3. Do backflips in the air while shotgunning Klansmen in the face.

4. Beat up hobos and druggies with anything you can get your hands on.

5. Choke people with plastic bags while some fat fuck yells at you over an earpiece.

6. Escape prison while some guy made of gas, some guy in the electric chair and Vincent Price psychologically analyse you.
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1. Darkest Dungron

2. Bravely Default

3. Dusk

5. Manhunt? Never played it but that sounds familiar.
 
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Absolute Brainlet said:
5. Choke people with plastic bags while some fat fuck yells at you over an earpiece.
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Yep, that's definitely Manhunt. Rockstar's old shame because some tabloid twat end blamed it for driving a teenager to murder another teenager in the 2000s. Even though it was the victim who played it.
 
Absolute Brainlet said:
1. Hire a bunch of stuttering snowflakes who are one bad wine spill away from going insane to clean up your uncle's mess.

2. You start out killing slimes, and end up fighting space Cthulhu.

3. Do backflips in the air while shotgunning Klansmen in the face.

4. Beat up hobos and druggies with anything you can get your hands on.

5. Choke people with plastic bags while some fat fuck yells at you over an earpiece.

6. Escape prison while some guy made of gas, some guy in the electric chair and Vincent Price psychologically analyse you.
Click to expand...
2 is Terraria, isn't it?
 
Absolute Brainlet said:
1. Hire a bunch of stuttering snowflakes who are one bad wine spill away from going insane to clean up your uncle's mess.

2. You start out killing slimes, and end up fighting space Cthulhu.

3. Do backflips in the air while shotgunning Klansmen in the face.

4. Beat up hobos and druggies with anything you can get your hands on.

5. Choke people with plastic bags while some fat fuck yells at you over an earpiece.

6. Escape prison while some guy made of gas, some guy in the electric chair and Vincent Price psychologically analyse you.
Click to expand...
6. Is it The Suffering?

Ginger Piglet said:
The Dig.

Right. Here's another from me: Woman swears vengeance on mad scientist for spilling her drink.
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Ion Fury
 
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Absolute Brainlet said:
1. Hire a bunch of stuttering snowflakes who are one bad wine spill away from going insane to clean up your uncle's mess.

2. You start out killing slimes, and end up fighting space Cthulhu.

3. Do backflips in the air while shotgunning Klansmen in the face.

4. Beat up hobos and druggies with anything you can get your hands on.

5. Choke people with plastic bags while some fat fuck yells at you over an earpiece.

6. Escape prison while some guy made of gas, some guy in the electric chair and Vincent Price psychologically analyse you.
Click to expand...

Most of these have already been answered but here goes...

1. Darkest Dungeon

2. Pass

3. Mafia III

4. Saints Row

5. Manhunt

6. The Suffering


Here's some from me.

1. You're stuck in a old house alongside your coworkers and you must find a bunch of keys to find your way out but your boss keeps fucking you over the whole time

2. Hide & Go Seek for mall ninjas and unmedicated schizophrenics.

3. It's like The Sopranos but you can play it outside

4. If Tim Burton and Eli Roth had a baby and then that baby ran off to join the circus

5. The story of cavemen, creepy French jesters, pirate ships, The Red Baron, and how a Gundam mech became the Tsar of a resurrected Russian Empire. New DLC featuring Julius Caesar and Chinese Ninja Women on Mars!
 
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