🐱 Fauci says Santa Claus has 'innate immunity,' won't be spreading COVID-19 to anyone this Christmas

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Santa Claus is coming to town. And he's not bringing COVID-19.

At least, that's the word from Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation's leading infectious disease expert.

"Santa is exempt from this because Santa, of all the good qualities, has a lot of good innate immunity," Fauci told USA TODAY this week.

It should come as no surprise. As children already know, Santa is superhuman. He flies around the world in one night, delivers millions of toys and eats his weight in cookies.

But with millions of Americans already sick with COVID-19, children have been worried about Santa, especially this Christmas Eve when he visits millions of homes. And there's no denying that Santa, because he is older and overweight, would at first glance appear to be at higher risk of developing severe disease from COVID-19.

Fauci is telling kids not to worry, though. "Santa is not going to be spreading any infections to anybody," he said.


Santa has also been taking coronavirus precautions. He's been making few appearances this holiday season, and he is social distancing. For example, he's taking more Zoom calls, and his limited visits to stores and malls will mostly be behind glass.

"Santa does not want the kids to line up waiting to see him because he doesn't want to spread germs. Santa gets sad if the kids or their families are sick," said Dr. Gina Song, a pediatrician at Northwestern Medicine Delnor Hospital in Geneva, Illinois. "So this year, Santa will be watching you from afar, giving you the gift of good health and will only visit when no one is around on Christmas Eve."

History tells us that, even if Santa is in fact immune to COVID-19, he is vulnerable to a different illness: the flu. He's gotten sick from it in the past. More than a hundred years ago, on Dec. 6, 1918, the St. Paul Daily News announcedthat "SANTA CLAUS IS DOWN WITH THE FLU." That year, Santa was unable to attend many of his big department store visits.

So doctors say it's important for Santa – and kids – to get the flu shot this year, as well as a COVID-19 vaccine, when one becomes available. That will help hospitals avoid a winter "twindemic" of the two illnesses, which would further strain health care professionals already stretched thin.


Dr. Peter Hotez, dean of the National School of Tropical Medicine at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, said he hopes Santa gets vaccinated for the coronavirus when a vaccine is available, given his underlying risk factors and exposures.

"I hear the ventilation in Santa’s workshop is not the best, and opening windows in North Pole winters problematic. The good news is that mask compliance there is pretty good, and the elves are committed to social distancing. Mrs. Claus has implemented a program of regular testing and the reindeers now lead contact tracing," Hotez said.

Dr. Greg Poland, director of the Mayo Clinic's Vaccine Research Group, declared he had just gotten off the phone with the North Pole when he spoke Thursday with USA TODAY. There had been two infections among the elves, but "none of them serious," he said.

"It was a good reminder to the elves about wearing the mask properly. They now do that. It’s mandatory in the North Pole," Poland said.

There have been two rounds of testing, and the elves have spaced out their work stations, Poland said. Toy production is on schedule. No reindeer are sick because they cannot contract COVID-19, Poland said. Santa has canceled his annual Christmas Day celebration this year "because they want everybody to be safe," Poland said.

"Let's do the same thing that Santa and the elves are doing. We stay home if we’re not feeling well. When we go outside of the home, we wear a mask and wash our hands," he said.

It's also important to maintain a positive outlook this holiday season, Poland said.

"Christmas is really about what’s in our hearts, and a pandemic can’t take that away from us," Poland said.
 
Old bastard is 1,749 years old. If age, the various plagues of Europe, both World Wars, or the simple matter of probability that dictates he should have been murdered, suffered a fatal accident, or been killed in a natural disaster by now haven't gotten him, the coof doesn't stand a fucking chance.
 
No way they're going to touch the single biggest consoomer holiday of the year. It's basically a secular holiday in the US at this point and the only message pushed out by the MSM is "WOW LOOK AT THESE DEALS! QUICK YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS OUT SPEND SPEND SPEND!"
Almost everyone: Kids, you have to wear your masks for 8 hours at school and use hand sanitizer! You don’t wanna kill grandma, do you?

Kids: But...what about Santa?

AE: He’s immune, because, uh...he just is, okay? Stop asking logical questions, you lil shit, and you’ll get your PS5.
 
If Santa can somehow survive traveling over many thousands times the speed of light delivering gifts to every good children around the world in one night and be silent, then I can believe that Santa has innate immunity to the coronavirus.
 
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Reactions: supremeautismo
Why not just say "Mr. and Mrs. Claus have been safe and social distancing at the North Pole and are doing everything they can this year to keep you safe.
Well, its pretty easy to social distance when the only other person living on the North Pole is Superman.
 
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Reactions: supremeautismo
I mean the media portrays Flip Floppin' Fauci as a Christ like figure beyond rebuke so why not?

You're supposed to question science, that's what separates science from religion.
Religious feelings may be irrational, but they also seem to be a hardwired part of human nature. When you get rid of traditional religion then science itself tends to fill the void (in the form of SCIENCE™), complete with its own set of dogmatic beliefs and taboos. The establishment approved "experts" are the new high priests, and if you question or defy them you are guilty of heresy, blasphemy, and your own sanity is questioned.
forbes.jpg
You Must Not ‘Do Your Own Research’ When It Comes To Science (forbes.com)
The arrogance of these people is off the fucking charts.
 
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Because showing you that they have power over you despite being openly illegitimate is the whole point.
They want you to know that the people who rule you have no obligation to make sense.
They want you to know that your masters cannot be reasoned with.
The less sense they make, the better.
It's always fun seeing people grapple with this thought for the first time, especially when encountering Soviet history, even in the context of the Gulag Archipelago or whatever. Like, as if they would be the superintellect to notice and proclaim that Yezhov has been airbrushed out of the famous photo, or that a page in your textbook has been torn out and replaced with an insert ...

Scott Alexander writes in one of his essays that it's by design that the SJW cause celebres are such obvious strawmen -- one gets no good boy points for saying that Jeffrey Dahmer was very naughty but if you can show righteous disapproval of trivially minor offences or demonstrate faith in the sacred victim in the murkiest and most dubious of contexts, you are truly one of the elect.
 
It's not just Fauci I see doing this "Santa Claus is coming to town" song and dance, politicians everywhere are doing it. Boris Johnson did it, either the Irish or Scottish parliament had someone say that he was "all clear" to deliver gifts. It's really weird watching them all toe this line. Practically, how is Santa going to come with gifts when mum and dad are out of a job thanks to job loss from lockdowns?
 
Really surprising, honestly. I figured they were gonna use corona as an excuse to finally kill Christmas like they were trying to do for Thanksgiving.

I think they figured that going full Cromwell after this shitshow of a year may be a bit too far and they want to help sell the "time for healing and unity narrative" for the incoming Biden adminstration.

Banning Christmas in the name of Science, Equity, and "The New Normal" is probably one of the few things that might be too mask-off even for the DNC and their Woke Left useful idiots

No way they're going to touch the single biggest consoomer holiday of the year. It's basically a secular holiday in the US at this point and the only message pushed out by the MSM is "WOW LOOK AT THESE DEALS! QUICK YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS OUT SPEND SPEND SPEND!"

Pretty much this, and since the economy has been imperially fucked by the lockdowns, they probably want something to cushion the impending major blows next year.
 
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Reactions: GlobohomoSapiens
So, we have gotten so bad in 2020 that we have to now kidnap Santa to end the plague?

...

Well shit, I better get a good present for this.
 
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