🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

[Garth]

15 shots in 2 hours is doable once or twice a week at most, but if he's doing that shit every night he streams (and probably every night in general, if we're being realistic) his liver must be at least 60% dead by now.

Spoiler: Gunt Cirrhosis

 

[Haru Okumura]

It sounds like he was SNIFFing something in the bathroom, and for once it wasn't shit.

 

[Heavy Rainfall]

Did Ralph just call May baby?

 

[thismanlies]

View attachment 1757307

Applebee's near a Target:

View attachment 1757308

Spoiler: The Customer Review I Want to Send but Probably Won't

Gonna have to give this one 2/5 stars. I could handle the fact that this was... well... Applebee's. I could even handle the fact that there was this British waiter there who tried to recruit me to his "libertaltist" party or whatever the hell it was. I didn't mind too much though. After a couple of drinks, his story of how he almost single-handedly tanked the UKIP party would have led me to rate my experience 4/5 stars. But then some obese drunken slob came stumbling in with horse-toothed chick I swear had a penis at one point. He must have been some schizo from Florida because he kept shouting "Gaydur! Do somethin' about that Joshua Moon an' that Kiwi Farms 'cuz they're talkin' shit 'bout me again!" I don't know what the hell the bartender was thinking when he was serving this guy. Everyone in the restaurant could smell every foul thing he ingested the second he walked through the front door! If it wasn't for that bartender serving him, I would have sworn he was some vagrant who got lost on his way to eating half-consumed cheeseburgers out of the dumpster. Definitely gonna avoid this place for a while until they sanitize it from top to bottom!

 

[AnOminous]

After all these troubles with the legal system you'd think Ralph would know to listen to lawyers with big noses. But he won't. We all know he won't.

If he knew that he'd have spent less time behind bars.

 

[Haru Okumura]

HE SAID "PILLSTREAM"!

 

[RalphsFailingKidneys]

It sounds like he was SNIFFing something in the bathroom, and for once it wasn't shit.

He definitely did. Comes back and suddenly sounds like he's got the worst cold in the world, after he was fine a few minutes ago, and is slurring more than before. Crushed pills.

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

No it isn't. It's almost a fifth (750ml) of liquor. If we're going by 1.5oz shots then a fifth is about 17.6 shots. If we're going by 1oz shots then it's about 26.4. Most wine is around 13% and a bottle is 750ml and most hard liquor is around 40% and he often drinks bourbons that are higher than that.

750 mls of 37% is like 22 drinks so you're right. I think the average wine bottle is around 12 drinks. It's not that important, his average drunken-ness if it's 15 drinks is about alcoholic level, but at the point before it becomes a problem is when you wake up and need a sip. We'll see. I don't think I've seen a clip of him sober irl streaming.

 

[AnOminous]

He definitely did. Comes back and suddenly sounds like he's got the worst cold in the world, after he was fine a few minutes ago, and is slurring more than before. Crushed pills.

Or he actually scored some cocaine at some point when the camera was off.

 

[The Bovinian Derivative]

what fucking organs do you people have?
my record is 8 before blacking out

Once I had 3 burning cocktails in a row, after burping up smoldering ash my brain hardwired me to recoil at the sight of any 3rd drink.

 

[Just Here for A and H]

Seethan Ralph can barely stay awake, seems like.

 

[naught sock account 1]

It seems there is three levels of Guntguards

1) casual (chronic masturbators, eat a lot of take out, never want their sister to get married)

2) the devotees (these ones will flood in to replies and think of themselves like QAnon digital soldiers)

3) the Imperial GuntGuard (these are the people that are all of the above but are actively trying to get into Ralph’s inner circle to suck his dick. Literally)

here's a halal thread where the user told others '#ralphdidnothingwrong'.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/kyle-l...kyle-likykee1-dinoman-soft-kitty.50068/page-1

 

[Heavy Rainfall]

Employee: "Is your name Josh Moon?" lmao

 

[Superman93's Bitch]

"no shame in chasing at this point"
yeah there absolutely is, you giant man baby. can't handle the 10 second burn of vodka, need to suckle on some OJ.

 

[BrentHatleyisaCuck]

Holy fuck the waitress just asked if he was "Josh Moon". Fucking legends here.

 

[Haru Okumura]

Someone called asking for Josh Moon.

 

[bigbombguy2222]

Can't wait to hear the tales of him bragging that he's an internet celebrity to his fellow inmates again.

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

Or he actually scored some cocaine at some point when the camera was off.

He got jacked by some random black guy when he tried to buy a gram of weed. Seriously doubt this retard could finesse any amount of coke unless one of the ip guys hooked him up.

 

[naught sock account 1]

Here's a screencap... @kyle2252

 

[Garth]

He definitely did. Comes back and suddenly sounds like he's got the worst cold in the world, after he was fine a few minutes ago, and is slurring more than before. Crushed pills.

It could also be due to a histamine intolerance. Not sure if gunt has allergies, but alcohol obviously wreaks havoc on the immune system. It's not uncommon for alcoholics to have histamine reactions. It's not technically an allergy attack, but the symptoms are similar: itchy watery eyes, congestion/runny nose. Or he's snorting coke like the aging degenerate he is, which is a much more fun answer.