🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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AnOminous said:
I didn't really understand the concept of a wignat before I saw Ralph in the "streamer house" full of subhuman apes, purportedly right wing and against degeneracy, chimping out in a drug frenzy and moaning about persecution by the cops when their degenerate behavior was fucking up the neighborhood, lowering property values, and forcing the landlord to evict, in the space of HOURS. Literal wigger nationalists.
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"The White Trash apple doesn't fall far from the White Trash tree." -Matthew "Destroy The Gunt" Vickers.

Sums up Ralph and his wigger antics pretty well if you ask me.
 
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AnOminous said:
I didn't really understand the concept of a wignat before I saw Ralph in the "streamer house" full of subhuman apes, purportedly right wing and against degeneracy, chimping out in a drug frenzy and moaning about persecution by the cops when their degenerate behavior was fucking up the neighborhood, lowering property values, and forcing the landlord to evict, in the space of HOURS. Literal wigger nationalists.
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1606842967044.png
 
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Secret Asshole said:
DSP is actually the avatar of the Demi-Urge. He is blessed by the blind, mad God so us mere mortals must chronicle his existence.

Ralph is just a decaying fat alcoholic whose liver is probably ripping itself apart.
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Not to mention that DSP took 100,000$ from the US government like a school bully takes lunch money from a scrawny nerd, while Ralph has to pay protection lemons to the Lemon Emperor.

Phil made Uncle Sam his bitch, while everybody makes Ralph their bitch.
 
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Hamsteroid said:
That's an awful thing to say about his unborn grandchild
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They should abort the retort.
Timon912 said:
Can you imagine him actually trying to fight? Even the softest shot to his beleagured liver would send him to the hospital for a month. The guy is delusional and reckless AF.
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I think his major issue would be his tiny little t. rex arms. Seriously, the fat fuck couldn't even reach you. If you just held him away, he'd be flailing at air with those stubby little things. He looks like a Mr. Potato Head toy.
 
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Fougaro said:
Not to mention that DSP took 100,000$ from the US government like a school bully takes lunch money from a scrawny nerd, while Ralph has to pay protection lemons to the Lemon Emperor.

Phil made Uncle Sam his bitch, while everybody makes Ralph their bitch.
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Don't worry. I'm sure the guntling will take plenty of resources from the U.S. taxpayers to more than make up for it.
 
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draggs said:
Is it really a fight if you just keep dancing around him until he collapses

I mean really if you were 'fighting' Ralph and refused to get close how long do you think he could physically keep trying to reach you? 2 minutes? 3? 5, maybe?
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You're half right in the strategy, but you beat a guy like Ralph with your reach. Keep your distance, don't let him charge or tackle you, jab him in the nose over and over again. His tiny hands will never be able to grab your arm.
 
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I'm late as fuck, but I just heard about May saying on stream that Ralph should get a paternity test for Faiths kid, that Ralph and May were holding hands and getting touchier than normal (trying to keep it on the DL), and May is now filling the roll that Ralph did as camera girl and lesion. This is gonna be a hard sell for Ralph to claim he isn't doing something with her. We see the repeated pattern of Ralph giving girls he is dating or trying to hook up with positions at the Killstream. He did it with Ade, he did it with Faith, and suddenly May is getting a cut as well.
It's almost like he has a pattern of using the show to get pussy.

- Faith and Ralph are gonna have some kind of "amicable split" and if they stay together Ralph is gonna play the angle of "Yeah I got a free pass after what she did with a half way cuck" then try and claim it was all some mastermind 7D Backgammon plan.
- Faith and Ralph split and claim miscarriage but we here from he later she aborted it and more delicious drama and drops happen.
- Ralph and Faith break up publicly, but he blackmails Faith into silence. In return for her silence he accepts fault and spins it as he is such a stud who can't keep it in his pants and treats Faith similar to how he treats Nora now.
 
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Mr. Manchester said:
You're half right in the strategy, but you beat a guy like Ralph with your reach. Keep your distance, don't let him charge or tackle you, jab him in the nose over and over again. His tiny hands will never be able to grab your arm.
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You beat Ralph by letting him fall on his face time and time again
 
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Mr. Manchester said:
You're half right in the strategy, but you beat a guy like Ralph with your reach. Keep your distance, don't let him charge or tackle you, jab him in the nose over and over again. His tiny hands will never be able to grab your arm.
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I'd prefer not touching him at all and letting his own gunt squashed lungs, diaphragm, vascular system etc. do the damage to themselves through overstraining via simple exertion. Hitting him a few times probably would be necessary though
 
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I just realized one more thing, if (and this is a big if) Ralph and Faith actually are still together and she just went to live with her family during the pregnancy then Ralph is in even worse financial situation than previously thought.
I know he is the worst kind of scum and wouldn't think twice about sending her away if it saves him money but he tried to avoid it for as long as he could, so if it did come to that, then there can't be that much left of the 50k (not that it's a surprise with the way he handles money).

Either way, I've said it since the start of the Faith saga, Ralph really fucked up by getting together with this girl, no matter the outcome he still loses, whether it's money, Faith, his freedom, his child, his health, all of the above or more, he should have sent Faith home at the start of all this, but what can you expect of a man that says "I love you" to a child he's been talking to for a day?
 
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High Tea said:
He could probably kick someone in the knees or nuts. Not sure if that would get you a win.
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I don't think so...
gunt_hooves.png

This is as high as he kicks. He is 5'5 at best, so maybe his hoof can reach around 80-85cm max, or about 3 feet. It we take the typical 1:1 ratio of legs to body length, all you have to be is 6 feet for his chubby hooves to not reach your sack.

How far away do you have to stand though? His hooves are probably about 75mm from the ground, so just be 100cm away from the pig and you're fine. That said, he can still totally kick someone in the knees.

That pic above is cursed. His leg seem to be buried in his gut, making them look as thick as his waist.
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How long are those t-rex arms? Well, a bit of geometry, but I'm not feeling that autistic. We know those pig legs are about 75mm at most. This is pretty simple, Pythagoras then cosine rule.
 
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no1 said:
You beat Ralph by letting him fall on his face time and time again
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draggs said:
I'd prefer not touching him at all and letting his own gunt squashed lungs, diaphragm, vascular system etc. do the damage to themselves through overstraining via simple exertion. Hitting him a few times probably would be necessary though
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No see, he won't fall over. This man has had enough liquor in his veins to kill a hippo and has remained standing sort of.

More importantly you have to actively beat him because if he just falls over he'll say shit like, "THAT ALAWG JUS RAN FROM ME GAYTOR! HE KNEW I WOULA BEAT HIS ASS! HAHA" So you have to bloody him.
 
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