حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[*Asterisk*]

Listen dude, anybody can get a book published nowadays thanks to the Internet. That's not the problem. What you need is to give people a reason to read what you write. You need to write something original.

How about a story about a Larry David-esque 18 year old autist who lives with his parents, constantly makes horrible decisions with his life, and has an entire forum of people constantly making fun of him?

 

[Rin]

Damn, you guys are cynical.

There's 350 pages of you as evidence.

 

[JU 199]

I'm actually feeling a lot more confident about my writing, today.

What about tomorrow shitlord? And the day after that?

We've all been through this too many times, You're full of shit.

 

[Connor Bible]

Well, what defines original? Serious question.

 

[The Knife]

Damn, you guys are cynical.

This was it. This was the exact moment I had the aneurysm.

 

[JU 199]

Damn, you guys are cynical.

Because you don't fucking change.

Christ.

 

[Tookie]

Connor lied. Kids died.

 

[The Knife]

Well, what defines original? Serious question.

...motherfucker, I just had another aneurysm.

 

[Connor Bible]

Because you don't fucking change.

Christ.

Am I not capable of change?

 

[CatParty]

I never could get into poetry. I prefer prose.

Is it too gay?

 

[chimpburgers]

Am I not capable of change?

Changing your underwear does not count.

 

[JU 199]

Am I not capable of change?

YES

 

[Rin]

Well, what defines original? Serious question.

Originality in writing is a thorny issue. After all, most great ideas have been done before. And given that it's part of a writer's job to also be a reader, being influenced by what you read is almost inevitable. There's a lot of interesting debate on the subject.

But as a rough guideline, I'd say that works with direct plagiarism from other sources and constant pop-culture references are not original.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

Am I not capable of change?

I'm not going to say that you're not, but there's been ZERO evidence of it happening so far.

 

[Connor Bible]

So, by that logic, if I'm not capable of change, then why the advice? Why bother? To you, I'm just a bum destined to be a janitor.

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

Am I not capable of change?

Yes! You have never changed even in the past year plus of spazzing out here, on Wrong Planet, and myriad other web forums. And you know what? You never will.

 

[chimpburgers]

So, by that logic, if I'm not capable of change, then why the advice? Why bother? To you, I'm just a bum destined to be a janitor.

You're an attention whore, nothing more.

 

[*Asterisk*]

Poetry has a lot it can teach any writer. It can teach you about economy, phrase-craft, flow, and all sorts of other tools that might even grant some forward momentum in your Sisyphean life.

 

[JU 199]

So, by that logic, if I'm not capable of change, then why the advice? Why bother? To you, I'm just a bum destined to be a janitor.

Because (for some bizarre reason) some peeps on the farms feel sympathy for you. I don't anymore.

Null was right about you.

 

[The Knife]

Well, what defines original? Serious question.

No wait, fuck it, I'm taking this bait.

When I pointed out that you'd ripped off Silence of the Lambs, you responded with some claptrap about how no story is truly original and everything is just a collection of tropes and using tropes didn't count. It's stuck in my head for months because it was so willfully, stubbornly oblivious of the actual point, which was that you had plagiarized another work, and that you'd done it in such an obvious way that I can only assume you thought your audience was too dumb to notice.

So you tell us. What IS your definition of original?