حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%
  • Total voters
    954
Altissimo said:
I just don't understand why you're treating it as if not being a famous writer is automatically gonna make your life a pile of absolute shit. You're wanting the "storybook" fame, aren't you... fame + fortune with lots of sexy ladies fawning over you. That's kind of a terrible way to live life, though...
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Haven't you seen Mrs. Stephen King though? Smoking hot bitch. Why wouldn't anyone want to pursue a career in writing fiction?
 
Connor Bible said:
If people were to see this thread, you guys wouldn't be entirely immune from damage. We both lose.
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Go on then. Show my family. Show my students. Show my work colleagues. Show my orchestral colleagues. Show the people I volunteer with.
I guarantee that my posting on the Farms will not outweigh the reputation I have IRL as a good person who is an asset to my community.
 
  • Agree
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  • Semper Fidelis
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Connor Bible said:
If people were to see this thread, you guys wouldn't be entirely immune from damage. We both lose.
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Yeah because people giving you good reasoning will totally get in trouble if you cry "cyberbullying" enough. Maybe if you grow a pair, buck up, take our advice, and do what you said you were going to do, we'll both win.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Emiya Kiwitsugu
Why doesn't he just start a Tumblr?
Oh wait! He won't get asspats there either because he's a white cis-het shitlord.
 
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Sonic Hoo said:
Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold
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Stay mold, dethkrotch, stay mold.
sikotik said:
Why doesn't he just start a Tumblr?
Oh wait! He won't get asspats there either because he's a white cis-het shitlord.
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Nah, he has f'reals autism. That's not as cool/oppressive as self-diagnosed 'tism.
 
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I sure missed a busy weekend.

A lot of us have given you advice and offered to help write, but the problem is that you refuse to work for yourself. Go do your job application finally, drop by the library to volunteer, take three classes in the fall. Get the fuck off the internet and write a fucking short story finally. Write one thing and polish the hell out of it, and be happy you completed something. Stop jerking off and get out of the house now and then. Stop trying to impress other people and write because you want to. Stop craving approval and work for self-fulfillment. So many people offered help and you shit on them, but you still beg us for asspats. Break out of your fucking cycle, you sperglord.
And get glasses that actually flatter your face shape.
 
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Altissimo said:
I would just like to point something out about @Connor Bible 's worst/best case scenario thing with the alcoholism and the dead-end job and the loveless marriage and all that. Specifically, that latter point.

I know he's left the thread (pffft) but I'm going to address it to him nonetheless: Connor, you're acting as if the mere act of becoming a famous author or whatever it is is instantly going to land you success. Are you really implying that not being a writer would automatically make it impossible for you to find love? Would you really want to marry someone who only wanted you for your famous authorship, anyway? I mean, why are you not considering the possibility that things could still work out, even slightly, if you are not the next Stephen King? For comparison, my halfboyfriend is someone I met on a Pokémon forum, for chrissakes. This would not have changed if I were, say, something other than a music major, or he something other than a physics major. We met because of our shared love for Pokémon, video games in general, The Room and other shitty movies, and extremely similar senses of humor. That is the kind of person I'd like to marry, not someone I met because of my eventual status as a music theory professor. I just don't understand why you're treating it as if not being a famous writer is automatically gonna make your life a pile of absolute shit. You're wanting the "storybook" fame, aren't you... fame + fortune with lots of sexy ladies fawning over you. That's kind of a terrible way to live life, though...
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It's because he wouldn't be true to himself, so how could anyone possibly love him the way he was meant to be loved if he wasn't a super famous writer?

Also: it fucking sends my sides into orbit over the fact that he doesn't just want to be the next Stephen King. He wants to be Stephen King, period, since he specifies that he wants to be a teacher AND a famous writer. I briefly met Stephen King, when he visited my campus during my college career. (Gotta love having the same alma mater as the world's most famous horror author.) I had some of the same professors he had, ffs. He is not a sadsack who wants positive attention and a hugbox- King is a fucking taskmaster when it comes to working on his books. Short version: without a major attitude adjustment, Connor's little dream is fucked.
 
  • Agree
  • Winner
  • Informative
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I've noticed a common theme here. Connor's excuses for continuing to live with his parents and not really doing anything is because he fears failure, he doesn't want to do something without sure reward, and he doesn't want to "take misery like a champ" (or other inspirational cliches).

I also remember Connor aped the plot of some vidya that made living on one's own seem like a hellish situation - something about getting into a mess with the mafia.

I don't recall moving out on my own to be particularly miserable - has anyone else found it that way?
 
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ToroidalBoat said:
I don't recall moving out on my own to be particularly miserable - has anyone else found it that way?
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Nope. It was a very liberating experience.
I'll also never get over his and other special snowflakes thinking that they're above having a 'menial' job despite having never had a job period.
Society would collapse within hours if no one was around to do 'menial' jobs.
 
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sikotik said:
Nope. It was a very liberating experience.
I'll also never get over his and other special snowflakes thinking that they're above having a 'menial' job despite having never had a job period.
Society would collapse within hours if no one was around to do 'menial' jobs.
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To be fair Connor has such terrible attitude and entitlement issues I can't really see him holding down even a minimum wage job.
 
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Ruin said:
minimum wage job
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Connor could still live on his own on the tugboat and EBT (food stamps) by renting a studio or 1-bedroom apartment. If he lived in a city, they might offer reduced fare for public transportation, and there's always a bicycle as a means of getting around (with the added bonus of providing exercise). Utility companies in SC may offer discounts to people on reduced income also.

It may not be what Connor is used to, but it'd be far more liberating, like sikotic said.
 
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Ruin said:
Didn't Connor lose control of his tugboat
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I think so - I believe Connor mentioned something about poor spending habits (something to do with 80s stuff or something - I'm not sure) and a suicide attempt resulting in his parents gaining power of attorney over him.* So getting control of his tugboat again may be difficult for Connor seeing as how he apparently doesn't like confronting them.

Also, another benefit of independent living - it may very well force one to maintain good finances.

*(couldn't he just revoke power of attorney and tell the Social Security office where to transfer the funds?)

**(I forget who came up with that term, but I like it.)
 
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