Terry Pratchett's "The Watch" - A diverse and inclusive steampunk BBC series inspired by the Discworld Novels

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Still time for a meteor to hit, it's not out till 2021.

The character omissions seem more hilarious with the confirmation of the state of the Watch. When it was Vimes, Colon and Nobby AKA drunk, fat and Nobby the fact that they were seen as a joke and no real factor in the smooth running of the city was for a long list of reasons but chief of which is they were. If they're still meant to be ineffectual and useless it's because these characters, irrespective of what the episodes will show us, have let it get like this. No doubt the Patriarchy will be to blame whoops, Vetinari's a woman. Erm well I am sure the heads of the criminal guilds will be-nope Cruces is a woman too.

That's a pretty good point that I didn't contemplate (most likely cause my brain refuses to waste any kind of work related to contemplating the inner workings of this shitshow). So, the watch is ineffectual and a joke to everyone... but they are staffed with a troupe of token characters. Either, this will not be explained/addressed at all, meaning that it will look like these characters are entirely worthless (which would be hilarious), but what I actually expect to happen:

The Watch will be a joke at the start, cause it is run by Vimes and Carrot, who are comically inept at doing anything. Vaginari will be mad at notVimes (who will do his best Euron Greyjoy/Johnny Depp impression throughout every scene he's in) and force him to pick up some new people from the diversity squad.
They will then overhaul the entire thing by being AWESUM at their job and turn the Watch around to be the most respected and most effective crimefighting force ever.

Expect many scenes of Vimes being chewed out by his new colleagues, where they berate him and do whatever's necessary to do a good job with Vimes whining about how they don't do what he says but is forced to acknowledge that they are AWESUM at everything they do. Fuck, there will be at least one lame joke about "Uh, sir, it's Watchpeople, not Watchmen! Like. Duh!" possibly a running joke.

Also, can't help but repeat it: Of all the characters that make it through this miserable travesty with their dignity intact, it just has to be Colon and Nobby.

 

[It'sallabitsillyreally]

That's a pretty good point that I didn't contemplate (most likely cause my brain refuses to waste any kind of work related to contemplating the inner workings of this shitshow). So, the watch is ineffectual and a joke to everyone... but they are staffed with a troupe of token characters. Either, this will not be explained/addressed at all, meaning that it will look like these characters are entirely worthless (which would be hilarious), but what I actually expect to happen:

The Watch will be a joke at the start, cause it is run by Vimes and Carrot, who are comically inept at doing anything. Vaginari will be mad at notVimes (who will do his best Euron Greyjoy/Johnny Depp impression throughout every scene he's in) and force him to pick up some new people from the diversity squad.
They will then overhaul the entire thing by being AWESUM at their job and turn the Watch around to be the most respected and most effective crimefighting force ever.

Expect many scenes of Vimes being chewed out by his new colleagues, where they berate him and do whatever's necessary to do a good job with Vimes whining about how they don't do what he says but is forced to acknowledge that they are AWESUM at everything they do. Fuck, there will be at least one lame joke about "Uh, sir, it's Watchpeople, not Watchmen! Like. Duh!" possibly a running joke.

Also, can't help but repeat it: Of all the characters that make it through this miserable travesty with their dignity intact, it just has to be Colon and Nobby.

Can't see that scenario since the stuff released so far Angua's meant to be the experienced officer teaching Carrot the ropes, Cherry she seemingly already knows so that suggests she is an existing Watch member too. What I assume is Detritus may be a future hire though.

Pratchett put in at least one joke about the apt way to address a no longer mono-species unit so I could see it happening in this. Amusingly I am reasonably sure a character, I believe Angua, said that they were told they don't have sex on duty when addressed as a watchwoman. Can't see that one being used but I definitely recall it was a prominent part by the end of Men At Arms when the mass recruiting was going on. No trolls, dwarfs or humans (or anything else) in the watch citizens, just officers.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Can't see that scenario since the stuff released so far Angua's meant to be the experienced officer teaching Carrot the ropes, Cherry she seemingly already knows so that suggests she is an existing Watch member too. What I assume is Detritus may be a future hire though.

So, once more we have hack writers who copypaste whatever they liked from some source material and add some changes to force their politics into it and end up with something that doesn't make any sense or invalidates their whole political bullshit.

We're either stuck with a Watch that is good at what they do (thanks to dem WOMINZ) but everyone treats as ineffectual for no reason -or- we're stuck with a Watch that actually has all these snowflakes and actually is this ineffectual and we're still considered to treat these obnoxious losers with the tiniest bit of sympathy.

Pratchett put in at least one joke about the apt way to address a no longer mono-species unit so I could see it happening in this. Amusingly I am reasonably sure a character, I believe Angua, said that they were told they don't have sex on duty when addressed as a watchwoman. Can't see that one being used but I definitely recall it was a prominent part by the end of Men At Arms when the mass recruiting was going on. No trolls, dwarfs or humans (or anything else) in the watch citizens, just officers.

Yeah right, now that you mention it, I remember. This whole "While on duty, we have no sex" thing made Nobby bust a gut.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

I'm just so confused. The odd part is that Richard Dormer wouldn't look bad as Vimes (if they got rid of the eyeshadow and the bad hair). And the casting for Carrot is decent enough. But everyone else is just a mess (except for maybe Detritus, he looks okay).

How do you screw it up like this? The setting's not steampunk/dieselpunk. WHY IS VIMES IN A FUCKING PUNK ROCK BAND GOD FUCKING okay I'm all right, really.

*seethes*

 

[It'sallabitsillyreally]

I'm just so confused. The odd part is that Richard Dormer wouldn't look bad as Vimes (if they got rid of the eyeshadow and the bad hair). And the casting for Carrot is decent enough. But everyone else is just a mess (except for maybe Detritus, he looks okay).

How do you screw it up like this? The setting's not steampunk/dieselpunk. WHY IS VIMES IN A FUCKING PUNK ROCK BAND GOD FUCKING okay I'm all right, really.

*seethes*

Your hair comment made me realise something else about this. No helmets. Also no armour, and frankly no uniform at all which is beyond stupid for what is meant to be law enforcement but I think the hair they are trying (and failing) to give Vimes hat/helmet hair which works for the books. An alcoholic with little life outside of his job, especially when said job involves a uniform he barely gets out of, will have their disheveled look include touches like that. But because they don't have a uniform I think they were trying to work out what hair someone who rarely glances in a mirror and sorts their appearance out might have and unfortunately it's not that.

I am guessing for the band episode they might be lifting stuff outright from Soul Music given the lead instrument but I am not sure about that either because, unlike the book, an electric guitar does not look out of place in the technology level of the show. If they're doing random episodic bits with an overall plot too they might nab stuff from the various other books.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

The more I look at this, the more I get the impression that the modern look isn't a concious design choice and rather a direct result of them not being able to afford fitting costumes or sets appropriate for the original setting.

Poor production values on a shitty virtue signal show, a shocker, I know. I guess the only reason why it took me so long to realize was due to my brain refusing to waste time on this.

 

[Bloitzhole]

The central disconnect on a "soul" level that I see is that Pratchett was not only a man who was able to mirror all the subtleties of our reality and human wants, needs, discomforts and pangs, he was also someone who seemingly saw the same solution to prejudice and hate that people like Martin Luther King did - as best illustrated in the aforementioned quote

No trolls, dwarfs or humans (or anything else) in the watch citizens, just officers.

As I stand here and look out upon the thousands of Negro faces, and the thousands of white faces, intermingled like the waters of a river, I see only one face—the face of the future.

Whoever runs the show seemingly believes that it is things like gender and race that are the great shapers of identities, worthy of acknowledgement and differentiation, a thought that older generation of leftists that Pratchett arguably belonged to disagree with - his books paint a world in which one's identity is dictated by the choices we make (Carrot *SPOILER* born to be the true king of Ankh Morpork, instead lives a life serving the city he could have ruled), our experiences (The entire Moist von Lipwig arc), our abilities (Leonard of Quirm) and how we treat others (I'd argue that Death is very much defined as a character by the way he interacts with humans) - it is our interactions with the world without that define us, rather than the world within us.

In a nature vs nurture argument, these "progressives" for all their talk of freedom to be whatever one wants to be, adopt very much a nature, rather than a nurture position. And as such, their "interpretatioN" of these nuanced and 3-dimensional characters are first and foremost, bland, 2-dimensional stereotypes.

Oh and everything else is garbage too.

 

[Polyboros2]

Have they still not shown fucking A'Tuin? I'm just waiting for how they fuck it up. Best case he's a tortoise (I'm currently reading Small God's) but at this point I'm expecting the Discworld to be a fucking sphere.

Ugh, this shit is elevating Hogsfather from "it's cute, and they're trying but what more can you really expect from the British?" like the BBC Hitchhiker's Guide, to "Must watch this Christmas to purge this awful shit from my brain."

 

[ddlloo]

Have they still not shown fucking A'Tuin? I'm just waiting for how they fuck it up. Best case he's a tortoise (I'm currently reading Small God's) but at this point I'm expecting the Discworld to be a fucking sphere.

Ugh, this shit is elevating Hogsfather from "it's cute, and they're trying but what more can you really expect from the British?" like the BBC Hitchhiker's Guide, to "Must watch this Christmas to purge this awful shit from my brain."

The world being a disc on the back of elephants riding a giant tortoise in space is too out there for the modern and serious crowd they are after. It's illogical and just plain silly!! But the gendermess that is this incarnation of Cheery is perfect and heartwarming and just what we need right now!

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Have they still not shown fucking A'Tuin? I'm just waiting for how they fuck it up. Best case he's a tortoise (I'm currently reading Small God's) but at this point I'm expecting the Discworld to be a fucking sphere.

Ugh, this shit is elevating Hogsfather from "it's cute, and they're trying but what more can you really expect from the British?" like the BBC Hitchhiker's Guide, to "Must watch this Christmas to purge this awful shit from my brain."

and

The world being a disc on the back of elephants riding a giant tortoise in space is too out there for the modern and serious crowd they are after. It's illogical and just plain silly!! But the gendermess that is this incarnation of Cheery is perfect and heartwarming and just what we need right now!

Just so happens I have a production sketch handy:

Spoiler

 

[Judge Holden]

Well.....here we are.

The nu and improved and #hashtagWOKEified CMOT dibbler has officially been unveiled

https://twitter.com/ruth_madeley/status/1336619382164873216

Here's an official first look at this dirty little rebel, THROAT. She's the City's best snitch with her own gang of henchmen & she can get you anything for the right price... but buyers better beware.

Not only a Crippled sex-changed midget in a wheelchair, but the wheelchair is pushed around by a body positive fat femmy black guy

 

[Polyboros2]

Well.....here we are.

The nu and improved and #hashtagWOKEified CMOT dibbler has officially been unveiled
View attachment 1776914

https://twitter.com/ruth_madeley/status/1336619382164873216

Here's an official first look at this dirty little rebel, THROAT. She's the City's best snitch with her own gang of henchmen & she can get you anything for the right price... but buyers better beware.

Not only a Crippled sex-changed midget in a wheelchair, but the wheelchair is pushed around by a body positive fat femmy black guy

Please let them leave Death out of this. It's not Discworld with out Death, but this isn't Discworld so it's okay.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Well.....here we are.

The nu and improved and #hashtagWOKEified CMOT dibbler has officially been unveiled
View attachment 1776914

https://twitter.com/ruth_madeley/status/1336619382164873216

Here's an official first look at this dirty little rebel, THROAT. She's the City's best snitch with her own gang of henchmen & she can get you anything for the right price... but buyers better beware.

Not only a Crippled sex-changed midget in a wheelchair, but the wheelchair is pushed around by a body positive fat femmy black guy

Oh god... this is so fucking lame and stupid, how can anyone look forward to this crap? And indeed, does anyone?
Check out that wheelchair, they just slammed a regular armchair on some old medical wheelchair, quite fittingly the one that is used to allow patients to poop, I wager.

That pseudo-fantasy attire with this modern crap lazily used cause no one could be arsed to get decent props is just sad. I've made better props for costume parties ffs.

And that description of Cut Me Own Dick Crippler is the most asinine and wrong way to describe his character. Dude's a scam artist that at best makes some profit short term and loses them when his latest scheme crashes in on itself.

 

[Judge Holden]

Please let them leave Death out of this. It's not Discworld with out Death, but this isn't Discworld so it's okay.

Im afraid your wish was *not* granted.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Im afraid your wish was *not* granted.

All this VimesInNameOnly actor can do is mugging at the camera. And this Death... I really don't know. The old design for the BBC movies isn't particularly good, when you really look at it:

You'd think this isn't particularly hard to improve upon... but you'd be wrong. NuDeath looks like an overgrown Jawa with blue contact lenses.

But what really feels like someone scraping a knife down my spine is the voice. I know you won't find talent like the late Christopher Lee or Ian Richardson any time soon, but they could have at least tried.
Everything about this is so half-assed.

Just look at the goofy adaptation of Hogfather with those goofy props and lackluster costumes, but it's really trying to get it right and the voice of Ian Richardson is just perfect:

Similarly, the animation on the cartoons is pretty lackluster, too, but damn does the voice-acting of Christopher Lee elevate every scene that he's in:

These three clips also show how much they got Pratchett and his unique humor, that other ... thing ... just doesn't. Death shouting down those voices in the background isn't even that bad, but it's just not working... maybe I am just biased.

Death in this version is pretty lackluster . . . so yeah, he is the best character so far.

 

[Florence]

Well.....here we are.

The nu and improved and #hashtagWOKEified CMOT dibbler has officially been unveiled
View attachment 1776914

https://twitter.com/ruth_madeley/status/1336619382164873216

Here's an official first look at this dirty little rebel, THROAT. She's the City's best snitch with her own gang of henchmen & she can get you anything for the right price... but buyers better beware.

Not only a Crippled sex-changed midget in a wheelchair, but the wheelchair is pushed around by a body positive fat femmy black guy

I never knew CMOT stood for "Child's Mother Overdosed on Thalidomide".

 

[Sable]

Cut Me Own Dick Crippler

I never knew CMOT stood for "Child's Mother Overdosed on Thalidomide".

Thanks you two, for bringing some levity to this whole mess.

 

[It'sallabitsillyreally]

Knew the gender flip on Throat (didn't care), knew the change to being a gang leader (for ever loving fuck's sake) but still would have not predicted that result.
As someone pointed out on Twitter this could easily have been the Queen of the Begger's Guild. Molly would have fit this with that above effortlessly since the only physical change would be the wheelchair. There is literally no reason for it be Throat since there was already a character in the books that does what they seem to want this one to do in their role.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Knew the gender flip on Throat (didn't care), knew the change to being a gang leader (for ever loving fuck's sake) but still would have not predicted that result.
As someone pointed out on Twitter this could easily have been the Queen of the Begger's Guild. Molly would have fit this with that above effortlessly since the only physical change would be the wheelchair. There is literally no reason for it be Throat since there was already a character in the books that does what they seem to want this one to do in their role.

They most likely amalgamated Throat with Molly... well, assuming they have more than a superficial knowledge of the source material, which is a pretty big leap of faith on my part tbh.

 

[It'sallabitsillyreally]

Oh goody a new trailer;

https://twitter.com/Glamrou/status/1337091847676702720

Either that or I hated it so much the first time I forgot about it.