Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

The magick of drinking period blood mixed with glitter.


If you're seriously going to kill yourself because of someone you don't even know in real life then you should probably get off the internet. Oh wait, you won't because then there wouldn't be anymore white knights to throw money at you in exchange for your absolutely revolting nudes, you raccoon eyed hoe.


Clayton must love being married to an ethot that has to beg on Tumblr to survive


Good luck with that. Also, I don't know about the rest of you, but the main reason I do this is because these people are so weird it's entertainment. I mean, people believing that they're going to get rich off of emoji spells, astral rape and a Trump voodoo doll with pins in its groin are just a few of the things I managed to find during my time here. It's like an autistic treasure hunt for delicious morsels of cringe. The feelings of superiority are just a bonus.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

Did one of these supposed witches ever respond to my desire for educational material? I'm a little disappointed.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Did one of these supposed witches ever respond to my desire for educational material? I'm a little disappointed.

Not that I know of.

 

[Azafran90]

Spoiler

View attachment 1808744
The magick of drinking period blood mixed with glitter.

View attachment 1808749View attachment 1808750
If you're seriously going to kill yourself because of someone you don't even know in real life then you should probably get off the internet. Oh wait, you won't because then there wouldn't be anymore white knights to throw money at you in exchange for your absolutely revolting nudes, you raccoon eyed hoe.

View attachment 1808823
Clayton must love being married to an ethot that has to beg on Tumblr to survive

View attachment 1808836
Good luck with that. Also, I don't know about the rest of you, but the main reason I do this is because these people are so weird it's entertainment. I mean, people believing that they're going to get rich off of emoji spells, astral rape and a Trump voodoo doll with pins in its groin are just a few of the things I managed to find during my time here. It's like an autistic treasure hunt for delicious morsels of cringe. The feelings of superiority are just a bonus.

Lmao, she doesn't even have a thread and it's already acting as if we were targeting her.
She sure enjoys attention of any kind.

 

[NoReturn]

Spoiler

View attachment 1808744
The magick of drinking period blood mixed with glitter.

View attachment 1808749View attachment 1808750
If you're seriously going to kill yourself because of someone you don't even know in real life then you should probably get off the internet. Oh wait, you won't because then there wouldn't be anymore white knights to throw money at you in exchange for your absolutely revolting nudes, you raccoon eyed hoe.

View attachment 1808823
Clayton must love being married to an ethot that has to beg on Tumblr to survive

View attachment 1808836
Good luck with that. Also, I don't know about the rest of you, but the main reason I do this is because these people are so weird it's entertainment. I mean, people believing that they're going to get rich off of emoji spells, astral rape and a Trump voodoo doll with pins in its groin are just a few of the things I managed to find during my time here. It's like an autistic treasure hunt for delicious morsels of cringe. The feelings of superiority are just a bonus.

The person who is "ready and willing to cause physical or emotional harm" is They/Them on tumblr

Spoiler

But She/Her on twitter

Spoiler

Also Angie isn't even fat. Her profile photo isn't flattering, but I've seen her hiking shots and she looks just fine. If a "friend" is only sending her screenshots of the mean shit in this thread, they're being a shitty friend.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Spoiler

View attachment 1808744
The magick of drinking period blood mixed with glitter.

View attachment 1808749View attachment 1808750
If you're seriously going to kill yourself because of someone you don't even know in real life then you should probably get off the internet. Oh wait, you won't because then there wouldn't be anymore white knights to throw money at you in exchange for your absolutely revolting nudes, you raccoon eyed hoe.

View attachment 1808823
Clayton must love being married to an ethot that has to beg on Tumblr to survive

View attachment 1808836
Good luck with that. Also, I don't know about the rest of you, but the main reason I do this is because these people are so weird it's entertainment. I mean, people believing that they're going to get rich off of emoji spells, astral rape and a Trump voodoo doll with pins in its groin are just a few of the things I managed to find during my time here. It's like an autistic treasure hunt for delicious morsels of cringe. The feelings of superiority are just a bonus.

She’s selling nude pictures of herself online while being suicidal? Now I actually feel sorry for her. That’s really something that will only make things worse. I know she’ll probably just keep listening to Tumblr’s enabling, telling her that people selling their bodies is empowering.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Why would you say something so terrible about a few innocent New Zealand ground dwelling birds?


B-but I thought you said you didn't lurk here angiekins? Everyone say hello to our new friend!

 

[Dante Alighieri]

I just want to learn, Angie.

 

[Android raptor]

Just threatening to relapse? The least she could do is make an edgy new headmate like Vade did to try and guilt us for making fun of her.

 

[Atatata]

Did anyone even call her fat?

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Did anyone even call her fat?

Someone on Facebook she was attempting to call out did. From her picture she doesn’t look fat, but maybe she’s just sensitive to weight-based insults.
"Did you know humans frown on weight variances? If you want to upset a human, just tell them their weight variance is above or below the norm."
— GLaDOS, Portal 2 coop mode

 

[NoReturn]

This gives me an idea for a Christmas-day hunt!
Here's a witch who stopped posting on tumblr after starting an OnlyFans and twitch account:

Another one with the same story:

Character growth:

Angie isn't fat. This is fat:

Spoiler: NSFW

So is this:

Spoiler: NSFW

Actually there are a LOT of "witches" with OnlyFans accounts on tumblr...

Spoiler: Noreturn rants

Whatever happened to not selling nudes? What happened to all the warnings about what would happen if future employers found your sexy photos? Why is it uncool to only share your body with someone you love?
I'm not even trying to be a prude. It's like, the idea of some fat sweaty neckbeard jacking off over my photos genuinely skeeves me out. How does one end up in this mentality?

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler: Noreturn rants

Whatever happened to not selling nudes? What happened to all the warnings about what would happen if future employers found your sexy photos? Why is it uncool to only share your body with someone you love?
I'm not even trying to be a prude. It's like, the idea of some fat sweaty neckbeard jacking off over my photos genuinely skeeves me out. How does one end up in this mentality?

Most of these people have no marketable skills and are too lazy to get a real job. Also, they live for thirsty comments because no one likes them in real life.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

Did anyone even call her fat?

I think its referring to:

Depends on how fat she is; remember, magic is stored in fat rolls like energy in batteries. If you cast a strong enough spell at a fat enough woman you can wipe out an entire city block.
God help us if Witchblr ever truly caught on with Deathfats...

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

I think its referring to:

That was talking about the hypothetical situation of a deathfat being cursed because of a bunch of the Tumblr and Reddit posts about how magick is stored in fat rolls and stretch marks. Does Angie really think every sentence here is about her?!

 

[Azafran90]

Does Angie really think every sentence here is about her?!

Well, she really has a need to feel special, first she larps as a witch, then as a suicidal girl and now as a victim of the evil trolls.
So, to answer your question, yes.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Why do cinnamon sticks have a stronger effect for this spell than ground cinnamon? They're the same thing, except one is in powdered form.


Inb4 Artemis is the goddess of trannies.


That's the dumbest reason for a mental breakdown I've ever heard.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Spoiler

View attachment 1811865View attachment 1811866
Why do cinnamon sticks have a stronger effect for this spell than ground cinnamon? They're the same thing, except one is in powdered form.

View attachment 1811867
Inb4 Artemis is the goddess of trannies.

View attachment 1811868
That's the dumbest reason for a mental breakdown I've ever heard.

“The best offering you can give me right now is your happiness”

Ugh this is so problematic and like super offensive to my culture. Please stop culturally appropriating the concept of a personal god from Christianity or I will be literally shaking.

 

[EyelessMC]

Why do cinnamon sticks have a stronger effect for this spell than ground cinnamon? They're the same thing, except one is in powdered form.

I think it's just that she tried this more than once using one and then the other and thought the time she used sticks was more effective. She's stupid because obviously it wasn't the difference in cinnamon sticks or powder that made it more potent or not.
It's the amount of time she let it charge under the moonlight. Obviously.
But you don't want to leave it charging for too long or it'll explode like you're microwaving a fork, and Deities protect you if you leave it charging overnight during a full moon!

Edit: I just tried finding the original tumblr post of that "forgiveness healing jar" and thought typing in the title would be enough to find it. Man, can you believe this?

What cheap witches want "free" forgiveness spells? What, is $7-$15 really too expensive to heal from your grudge and trauma? Don't you want to walk again? Entitled people, I swear...

View attachment 1811868

"I was having a mental breakdown, but then Ares showed up and said..."

 

[NoReturn]

That's the dumbest reason for a mental breakdown I've ever heard.

“The best offering you can give me right now is your happiness”

Ugh this is so problematic and like super offensive to my culture. Please stop culturally appropriating the concept of a personal god from Christianity or I will be literally shaking.

Maybe Ares was being indirect. Maybe the thing that would bring this girl the most happiness would be for her to wage war upon her enemies and burn their houses down while their families slept inside (in Minecraft).