Why do you speak so badly of submitting to men? You know you want to. It's what most hetero women are searching for, the right man they can finally surrender to. The one that makes you want to surrender. The one you can trust. The one that makes you feel like a real woman. It isn't necessarily that women are attracted to assholes, I'd say it's more accurate that they're attracted to strong personalities and high capability. If you're highly capable and not a doormat, you'll do just fine as a hetero male.
Even "dominant women" aren't truly dominant in my experience. They wear their dominance as a test, they're searching for the right one that can penetrate their facade and subdue them. You don't want some guy asking if he can kiss you on a date. You want him to just go for it. You want that aggressive masculinity, some tender brutality.
Deep, deep down it's what you want the most and you know it. You're just frustrated right now that you can't have that. I understand. You should avoid relationships from here on out, especially with any man that appears to be successful in any capacity. I can pretty much guarantee you that a dude that's successful and apparently interested in you isn't actually interested in you. They're after your kids.
