How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

I had a pretty good Crimbus.

1. I got good gifts, felt like a child though because my favorites were kinda juvenile
2. But I was more excited to give gifts and I was happy that everyone liked what I got them
3. Made 2 grown men cry
4. Got to spend a day with my friend I haven't seen since HS graduation

Today I got to pet some horses.

I don't expect 2021 to be any better than 2020 but I find it hard to doom all the same. I still have a lot going for me, plus a new job I like. No normie resolutions but I have been planning to start a journal or "daily log" beginning tomorrow, if only because January 1 is a good yearly start date. I also plan to keep a log of all the weird patients we get at my new job.
 
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Feeling sad right now. My roommate and I’s oven died a few days ago and I realizing how much we used that thing and how we cooked each other dinner with it. I miss the soup she makes and forces me to eat. (It’s good soup btw) I also miss cooking bratwurst in beer and seeing one disappear. I bought dino-nuggets, before the oven broke, to bake in the oven for us both when we watch a movie or tv show. I don’t wanna microwave Dino-nuggets.
 
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Today has of those days where everyone seems to do every petty, insignificant thing that drives me bugfuck bonkers.
 
christmas was ok but hey i can buy stuff i want for myself every two weeks anyway so...eh not much different. Watched some Christmas movies and probably still will for a while.

hated HATED work today. Busier than usual those ghetto blacks just love kfc for new year's. was so tired at work all day couldn't stop counting how much longer till i could finally leave and it felt like forever. even at the end of the day it felt like the boss kept asking me favors just to keep me there, i swear it almost wasn't worth the 99 dollars i made.


New year's doesn't really mean much to me. Im glad to be alive especially after this year and while null said don't hope things will be better so easily I'm cautiously optimistic for next year. My resolution is to save money,. was hoping the stimulus check would help with that but...it could be only 600 it could be 2000 by some freak miracle who knows at least its something. Plus my tax refund next year. Though like i said filing out my w 2's are gonna be a bitch what with the four jobs i worked last year. definelty gonna use both to start a nest egg and assuming the conventions aren't cancelled again i might try to catch one. that being the ONE and only thing I'm gonna spend fun money on and save every other nonessential cent up.

Ever since i shadowed chris at bronycon 2019 I've been legit curious about attendding another con legitimatley...granted one not nearly as heniouis as that one. barring a possible convention trip my resolution is to sdtart saving money and go on keto once the carb heavy food in my house runs out, sorry this post is so long and possibly spergy but its what i had to get off my chest happy new year my fellow kiwis here's hoping null doesn't have to give that farewell speech under president harris
 
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Looking forward to a great 2021, or a cyber-dystopia hell...Either way - Fun!
 
Felt like I was actually adulting today. Our toilet has been having mystery problems the past week so me and bf had to use one on the other side of the house for a bit. Wasn’t clogged, and was leaking from the bottom. We took it off, got a new gasket and voila. Fixed. We also got around to trimming all the hedges and overgrown tree branches that were overhanging the driveway. They haven’t been cut in ages. Lastly, we cooked some dang good burgers and played board games.

While we were getting the gasket I also bought a shovel and a manual weed whacker (stick with a double edged blade on one end). Plus some yard stakes to secure my new compost bin. Ain’t nothing knocking that thing over now. My dad is letting me borrow some more yard tools from him that I need when I can get by there. I’m really trying to clear some land to garden and landscape, but it’s gonna be a shit ton of work. It’s at least a decade of weeds and overgrowth to deal with.
 
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My mom's going to die, and soon. She's been going downhill for about a month now, and after a lot of pestering from my sister and stepdad, agreed to see a doctor, who, after her bloodwork came back, sent ber straight to the ER. That was yesterday morning, and after tests and imaging it looks an awful lot like advanced ovarian cancer, metastasized into her bone marrow.

She's a cranky old cat who hates doctors and anything medical, so she hasn't gone for anything more than basic physicals in decades. And I've always known that It would go this way--that she'd die of something that went undiagnosed until she was past saving. So I know she won't allow any surgery, much less rads/chemo, and I don't blame her. She's 80 years old and probably weighs 90 pounds at this point; why put herself through it?

She told my sister tonight that she's not going to be around much longer, and that she's ready to go; obviously, she's made peace with it. She had all of the documents anyone might need in the end, or after her death, organized and ready to go. So I'm going to go see her one last time as soon as I can get my shit together and she gets out of the hospital.

She was supposed to visit last April, but Covid killed that plan; then she was supposed to come see me this April, but that's obviously not going to happen. I haven't seen her in a year and a half, and it's shit that this is the last time I ever will.

I've been expecting this for a long time, and have made my own peace with it, but it's still fucked.
 
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probably should post this in the drunk/high thread but it is how i feel. Took some weed vapor from a friend at work hours ago, while time doesn't feel slowed down anymore to me (that's how i reacted to it anyway) i still feel chill and mellowed out, haven't felt this good in...damn ages. Gonna ask to see if i can get more for my own use, though there really is no need to be secretive about it.

NJ voted to legalize pot last November (one good thing to come out of that shitshow) so it wont be long before the smoke shops can sell actual weed in addition to bongs, hookahs, filters, flavors, and pipes.

To think once a lifetime ago i believed in all the negative things the schools and adults said about marihuana (the early 2000's to early 2010s was a very different time)
 
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Pretty terrible. Lungs shot. Multiple injuries from working out. (It's not fun leveling up a mage's STR stat.) And I went to play an old Sega CD video game called Dark Wizard. Four characters to choose from and I didn't identify with any of them. Bummer.
 
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Spent two days doing absolutely fuck all and, even though usually I feel sorry, I don't. I just hope it's not gonna turn into more.
 
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