حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[chimpburgers]

And The Connor Cycle begins anew. You know the drill.

 

[TheAmazingAxolotl]

No really. I'm feeling happier.

Nah, you'll "feel happy" until someone says something here that'll rub you the wrong way, then you'll give us all a big "fucky you", tell us you're leaving 5ever, and then come back sometime later to start the cycle over again.

Come on man. You do this every week.

 

[Connor Bible]

What if I don't? What if I broke the cycle?

 

[TM Ambrose]

What if I don't? What if I broke the cycle?

You haven't.

Here's a quick quiz to tell if you've broken the Connor cycle:
1. Are you Connor Bible?
2. Are yon on the kiwifarms again after an autistic freakout?
3. Are you saying you are turning over a new leaf?

If all of these are a yes you're still in the connor cycle.

 

[Connor Bible]

You haven't.

At least, not yet.

 

[JU 199]

I'm more concerned about self-fulfillment, first and foremost.

Oh god, Does it involve Molly Ringwald?

 

[Kršćanin Čendlervic]

What if I don't? What if I broke the cycle?

Show us the book report and maybe we'll believe you. I'll edit it for you if you need any help.

 

[Connor Bible]

Oh god, Does it involve Molly Ringwald?

Actually, no.

 

[CatParty]

Actually, no.

why not?

 

[chimpburgers]

What if I don't? What if I broke the cycle?

My forecast calls for you going on about your writing yet again, people telling you you'll never finish it, you getting pissy and leaving the website. It's all based on your past history here and Mauv's awesome flowchart. You can't refute it.

 

[JU 199]

I am learning too late in my youth that I shouldn't worry about meeting other people's standards. I'm more concerned about self-fulfillment, first and foremost.

@Connor Bible If you don't care about other people's opinions of you then why return to the farms?

 

[Chipmunk's Bounty]

Hey, Connor! It's summer now, and there's no snow. How about popping over to volunteer at your local library now? As someone who has experience working at one, they're a lovely place. All those books, and aside from the rare rude patron, almost every guest is kind and will sometimes even ask for reading suggestions! I'm sure someone who loves books as much as you would find a lot of joy working there.

 

[Connor Bible]

Show us the book report and maybe we'll believe you. I'll edit it for you if you need any help.

Okay... it's still got to have a bit added to it, and needs a bit of polishing, but alright. One nearly finished book review coming up.

 

[Picklechu]

That took a week?
And it's still not done?

 

[Kršćanin Čendlervic]

I mean aside from some excessive use of the first person and some strange word choice errors (calling a book anemic) it's pretty decent.

 

[Chipmunk's Bounty]

Okay... it's still got to have a bit added to it, and needs a bit of polishing, but alright. One nearly finished book review coming up.

Stop using so many commas. Don't be afraid of short sentences, especially when you're taking so much space to say so little. I realize you probably have a minimum word/page count, but most college profs will be able to tell you're bullshitting your way with all the fluff you add.

EDIT:
In example, the paragraph at the bottom of the first page:

Spoiler: to keep things from getting too long

Structurally, we follow the young narrator, Paul Baumer, and his spiral into despair due to the war in chronological order. This choice of linear continuity greatly benefits the story, in that it not only keeps the reader focused throughout its pages, but also draws them into Paul’s experiences. As we the readers flip through the book, we embark on a slowly draining downward spiral with Paul. In fact, he describes the front as “a mysterious whirlpool,” and though he is far
from the heart of the battle, he feels “the whirl of the vortex sucking (him) slowly, irresistibly, inescapably into itself” (Remarque 43).

could be completely cut down to "In the book ,we follow the young Paul Baumer in his descent into despair, which he describes as feeling “the whirl of the vortex sucking (him) slowly, irresistibly, inescapably into itself” (Remarque 43)."
You have multiple instances where you say something, and spend the next 3 sentences repeating and rewording it.

 

[The Knife]

Okay... it's still got to have a bit added to it, and needs a bit of polishing, but alright. One nearly finished book review coming up.

Just from a quick skimming...

Did this require a thesis statement? If so, what is it? Where is it?
Non-standard MLA citations throughout. Please research proper citation style.
Academic papers should not contain first-person statements.
Legit, though: no one cares how you feel about this book.

 

[DN 420]

My infamous sexual kink is becoming unappealing and impractical to me.

Fucking a belly-button is impractical? No, say it ain't so.

My book review is practically completed by this point. I just need to punch in a couple of hundred more words, and construct the title and works cited pages. I think I've done a great job.

In all seriousness, was there a due date? Does your Professor not give a fuck? You've been talking about this assignment forever.

 

[Ruin]

That took a week?
And it's still not done?

No wonder he can't find a a job or take more than one class. Even the shitty students at my Uni can write an academic paper in one night with a little help from Red Bull.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I am learning too late in my youth that I shouldn't worry about meeting other people's standards. I'm more concerned about self-fulfillment, first and foremost.

THEN EXERCISE TWAT!