Looks disgusting as fuck on his
new video
View attachment 1839612
Fuck that. Doing a very quick runthrough since I really can't be arsed for detail.
1. Jack wastes everyone's time for about an eighth of the video with shilling his shitty affiliate link and lying as hard as he can that it's a sponsor.
1b. Remember, any fucking nobody can get those, and it's for a fucking extension too; it'd be like shilling for a .net link extension.
2. Jack "knows" that this chicken dish he stole from the Kitchn is going to be great. Lookin' at that thumbnail, that's a big fuckin' nope.
3. "It sounds super easy" ~ Jack on anything in life he personally wants to do
4. Jack interestingly took a method mentioned by the Lazy Man on the PCatLM podcast on thinning out chicken cuts for even cooking.
4b. It should be noted though that he only mentioned it because again, he's stealing a recipe that mentions doing this.
4c. The other trick is to cut them into thinner filets.
5. Wow, he actually had to look at the label of his meat to remember they were chicken breasts.
6. "FEGGIT" ~ Jack's Avatar on copyright theft
7. Jack really sells up how amazing balsamic vinegar is.
7b. In the words of Gordon Ramsay: "Always the sign of an insecure chef when they macerate everything in balsamic vinegar"
8. Jack assumes you can swap the half and half for heavy whipping cream in this recipe; depending on how it goes I doubt it.
9. Wow, Jack's meat tenderizer looks like cheap shit; I have a full hammer in them times I need to smash the meat.
10. Jack shows us how to minimize ooze by covering the meat in a bag and then a towel to prevent the liquids going everywhere.
10b. Like everything Jack does, you know he learned it because he fucked it up originally; usually admirable, but not with him.
11. "Just sprinkle some..." ~ Jack on badly pouring pepper on like 1/5th of the chicken breast.
11b. This and the fatside up method just shows he doesn't know where flavor comes from ever.
12. No fatty, you season both sides if you want the flavor to fucking permeate into the meat cut.
13. Oh boy, the same standard shit method of cooking on his range; let's do the checklist.
13b. Poorly coat the pan in olive oil, thus ensuring the meat will stick and it smokes out due to the oil's low smoke point? Check.
13c. Has to check the flame of the stove, because he's a retarded infant with no object permanence and can't seem to hear or smell the fucking gas flowing out? Check.
13d. Meat booger? No check this time.
14. Jack puts the chicken in the spots where there's almost no oil.
15. Gluttonous Jack silently fade cuts to where he puts a third chicken breast onto the skillet, overcrowding the pan like an idiot in the process.
15b. There's no point in doing this, because this doesn't stop the fact you have one more chicken breast to pan fry like this anyway.
16. Jack is really pissy over the fact he's known for cross contaminating and for undercooking chicken; he mentions in detail how you don't put the cooked product where the raw product was.
16b. He's only doing this because he very clearly doesn't want to get made fun of this anymore.
17. No Jack, that's not browning; it's either burning or the pepper stain you put down on that side.
18. Jack surprisingly lets the pan cool down enough so the butter isn't scorched to shit and back.
19. Jack cries like a girl that he has to use unsalted butter, even though the recipe requires salt.
19b. It's not like this is so you can personally fucking control how much sodium goes into you, and that too much can result in health issues like high blood pressure or something.
20. Cook the mushrooms. For five minutes. In an overcrowded pot. YEAH GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
21. Oh my, those mushrooms look a bit burned.
22. So Jack then starts putting in flour into what I'm assuming is designed to make a bastardized roux for a sauce or something.
22b. Yeah, to confirm, this is so you can make a decent roux.
22c. Also, you're supposed to have a thinner sliced set of mushrooms it seems.
23. Jack then lets the flour burn a bit before saving it with the chicken broth.
24. He then ruins it by not tempering that dairy he's using, meaning we're getting curdles. Lovely.
25. If the heat doesn't curdle the half and half, the balsamic vinegar sure as shit will.
26. It's not looking that "beautiful" Jack, given that I'm either seeing flour clumps or curdled dairy in the mix.
27. JACK JUST CASUALLY ADMITTED TO COOKING ALL OF THE CHICKEN BREASTS THE HUNGER IT GNNNAAAAAWWWSSSS
28. And the pots pretty much completely crowded. Lovely.
29. That's a pretty vigorous boil, as Jack then states it's time to let it simmer.
30. Nice job idiot; the sauce isn't really coating the final product.
30b. The side effect of crowding the pot with jumbo breasts.
31. Beautiful my ass Jack; it looks like someone sicked up on the chicken.
32. Jack desperately struggles to cut the chicken with a fork, and left this bit in.
33. Manchild Jack chortles about how big the bite is going to be since he got a sliced cressini to go with the chicken chunk on his fork.
34. More desperate lies about how his affiliate link he personally begged for from amazon is a "sponsorship"
35. FUCK OFF WITH THE BALSAMIC YOU INSECURE BITCH
35b. Seriously, he wants you to add even MORE fucking balsamic vinegar to chicken that already bathed in a sauce made from it.
36. Jack unhinges his jaw to slam the entire chunk of food. "WE HAVE THE BEEF" begins playing in the foreground of my mind.
37. Jack swings like a pendulum and gives a confused baby look as he goes "MMM"
38. I can audibly hear his chewing. It's fucking awful.
39. Yes, show me the mash in your mouth you fucking lummox.
40. Jack likes it because his fucked tastebuds can only taste the vinegar.
41. Nice attempt to slide back into lying about Keto fatboy; he mentions more protein less carbs right at the end.
Jack's really on a balsamic kick lately, isn't he? He seems to think it needs an introduction which makes me think he just found out about it. Of course he isn't using real aged balsamic but just some cheap crap that's probably loaded with food coloring and corn flour. But maybe it doesn't matter that much if you're just drowning it out with half-and-half and chicken broth anyway.
I suspect he picked a thumbnail with the chunk of chicken cut away like that to show that he didn't undercook it. But given his difficulty cutting the piece away, it looks like he overcooked it.
It actually looks mostly fine internally, but the exterior is mildly burned given how tough it was for him to seperate a piece.
On top of that the recipe isn't even a recipe, it's just a list of the ingredients. Maybe he figured out that we were pasting parts of the recipes into Google to find where he stole the recipes from?
Didn't fucking work though since he still uses the recipe names. Can't wait for him to start changing them when this gets mentioned.
