You guys, Look, here’s the deal, you’re all fucking retarded, I view you as nothing more than wallets I have to guilt trip in to opening, I have some new expensive electronic that I want to own because the only thing that brings me happiness in this miserable wretched existence that I have built for myself is opening a shiny new box I will get bored of in 12 hours. So give me your fucking cash. This is the last time I’ll ask for anything ever, except not really, because as soon as I get ahold of this shiny new toy, I will come up with some new excuse as to why the last time and the time before that and before that still and all the times before that I have ever said this would be the last time I beg, actually can’t be the last time, because I am the most important being in existence and you are all retarded little maggots who owe me money simply because I say so. So shut the fuck up, don’t question me, harass and threaten anybody that speaks out against me, and send me your mother fucking cash NOW or I will kill myself for real this time, which I think will be bad not because you will mourn the loss of a friend, but because I am perfect in every way and without me the entire world will be a horrible, miserable place. Pay up, faggots.
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Please?