Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Free the Pedos]

Getting your kid accustomed to sharing beds with strangers. Great, great. As Tess would say:

 

[Constellationzero]

She can lose all the weight and become a fitness model, but that nasty ass personality will still be there.

 

[Dead Eye]

In her stories, Tess is using a new blush filter that makes her look like she's on the brink of cardiac arrest. She is also fishing for more engagement; Ollie sleeps in a tiny bunk with Bowie, and Tess is still devouring massive cakes all by herself almost daily.
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The cake thing is pretty hilarious. I bet when her friend ordered the cake, the bakery thought it was a prank. They probably imagined a scenario in which the person receiving this cake was embarrassed or perhaps even offended. Always funny to think about normal people interacting with these cows.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

The cake thing is pretty hilarious. I bet when her friend ordered the cake, the bakery thought it was a prank. They probably imagined a scenario in which the person receiving this cake was embarrassed or perhaps even offended. Always funny to think about normal people interacting with these cows.

Anyone who has dealt with cake in the Greater Los Angeles area is going to be familiar with Tess.

 

[Miss Misery]

In her stories, Tess is using a new blush filter that makes her look like she's on the brink of cardiac arrest.

How long until she switches to the ahegao blush across the bridge of the nose?

 

[Water-T]

She's such a dumbass. just because you had a nice date, doesn't mean the other person is obligated to go on another date with you. It's not wasting your fucking time, it's trying to find out if you are someone they want to date. The feeling you get from a person chatting vs irl interaction can be veeeery different, but of course this "mediocre white dude" just wasted *our* time. He should have just said "You looked nothing like your lewds" and call her a lying bitch.

This is the most likely explanation. Dude went on a date, saw that Tess looks nothing like the over-shopped image she puts online, and then nicely noped out of a second date. Tess got assmad about it, and is now trying to guilt/shame the guy into another date.

If this were a guy making this post, he'd rightly be roasted for being such a salty incel.

 

[Angry New Ager]

This is the most likely explanation. Dude went on a date, saw that Tess looks nothing like the over-shopped image she puts online, and then nicely noped out of a second date. Tess got assmad about it, and is now trying to guilt/shame the guy into another date.

If this were a guy making this post, he'd rightly be roasted for being such a salty incel.

I'm more inclined to believe he'd back out once he realized what a hot mess of garbage her personality truly is.

Anybody going out with Tess knows she's fat, and in the LA area especially it's a given that you'll look better in photos than IRL. And a dude into fatties, especially one Tess's size, isn't going to have a lot of illusions, or be too exacting. So I don't think it was the reality of what she looks like that made him lace up his running shoes.

 

[Wallace]

This is the most likely explanation. Dude went on a date, saw that Tess looks nothing like the over-shopped image she puts online, and then nicely noped out of a second date. Tess got assmad about it, and is now trying to guilt/shame the guy into another date.

I'm more inclined to believe he'd back out once he realized what a hot mess of garbage her personality truly is.

Why not both?

 

[Constellationzero]

Anyone who has dealt with cake in the Greater Los Angeles area is going to be familiar with Tess.

On either a first name basis, or they use a code name for the employees.

"Oh, it's ol' what'll it be today?"
"Cakefarts, line one!"
"Softserve Hoven wants another fix."

 

[Water-T]

I'm more inclined to believe he'd back out once he realized what a hot mess of garbage her personality truly is.

Anybody going out with Tess knows she's fat, and in the LA area especially it's a given that you'll look better in photos than IRL. And a dude into fatties, especially one Tess's size, isn't going to have a lot of illusions, or be too exacting. So I don't think it was the reality of what she looks like that made him lace up his running shoes.

Oh, i'm sure that Tess' toxic personality was a major factor. But we've seen how 'shopped her photos are, and seeing the reality in person versus the photos of erased chins, smoothed skin, and manipulated waistline must have been a huge disappointment to that guy.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

A random tranny Tess has met in person for the second time only recently seems like an excellent candidate for the bottom bunk of her tOdDlErS bed. Nothing backwards about getting high while a stranger lies directly beneath your son all night, no siree! It’s fine guys, she told Bowie that Ollie is his UnClE and there’s zero precedent for dirty uncles ever at all in history.

Rate me MOTI because I am just absolutely ass blasted furious that this washed-up, fat, fucking trailer-trash pedo-sympathizer ended up featured by a parenting magazine of all things. When Nick’s done getting pounded in the ass by someone he found in a public bathroom, I hope he develops an ounce of paternal concern for his child and does something.

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

A random tranny Tess has met in person for the second time only recently seems like an excellent candidate for the bottom bunk of her tOdDlErS bed. Nothing backwards about getting high while a stranger lies directly beneath your son all night, no siree! It’s fine guys, she told Bowie that Ollie is his UnClE and there’s zero precedent for dirty uncles ever at all in history.

Uncle Ern—I mean, Ollie is just fiddling about. Just smoke that blunt (which is already embarrassing if you're a playing at being responsible adult and not a black rap artist, use a vape pen you sow), eat a sheet cake, and pass out for 10 hours in a sugar crash post-weed haze. Nothing could go wrong!

That kid is going to be so fucked up. At least Tess will likely die from obesity complications before he's even past his freshman year of high school.

 

[There_is_no_Dana]

I'll never understand why women let so many strangers around their children. It's your job as a mother to protect that child any way you can, and that includes keeping them away from strange people who might molest them. Sure not every man is going to molest your child, or every woman, but it's best to err on the side of caution when a single incident can ruin your child's entire life. How many of our cows were victims of molestation or rape themselves? It ruins you.

 

[AbraCadaver]

I'll never understand why women let so many strangers around their children. It's your job as a mother to protect that child any way you can, and that includes keeping them away from strange people who might molest them. Sure not every man is going to molest your child, or every woman, but it's best to err on the side of caution when a single incident can ruin your child's entire life. How many of our cows were victims of molestation or rape themselves? It ruins you.

The fathers are something to do with it too. Plenty of children have been molested by a “family friend” or relative when a father was present in the household.

Plus if you were to abide by the rule of never letting strangers near kids, you’d never send them to school. Policing who goes near them at home is easier, but the majority of molestations of young children are not perpetrated by strangers, but by relatives, people we inherently trust because they’re our cousins or in-laws and we have no idea what kind of sick arseholes they are inside.

 

[Water-T]

A random tranny Tess has met in person for the second time only recently seems like an excellent candidate for the bottom bunk of her tOdDlErS bed. Nothing backwards about getting high while a stranger lies directly beneath your son all night, no siree! It’s fine guys, she told Bowie that Ollie is his UnClE and there’s zero precedent for dirty uncles ever at all in history.

Rate me MOTI because I am just absolutely ass blasted furious that this washed-up, fat, fucking trailer-trash pedo-sympathizer ended up featured by a parenting magazine of all things. When Nick’s done getting pounded in the ass by someone he found in a public bathroom, I hope he develops an ounce of paternal concern for his child and does something.

Funny that her older son isn't in the other bunk, but rather an adult that Tess barely knows.

To a normal parent, this would set off red flags....but to Tess, it's a cute moment to post on her social media.

 

[Morbo]

Oh, i'm sure that Tess' toxic personality was a major factor. But we've seen how 'shopped her photos are, and seeing the reality in person versus the photos of erased chins, smoothed skin, and manipulated waistline must have been a huge disappointment to that guy.

I agree it's likely a mix of both. Her horrid personality is off putting for sure but we should also consider that everyone is allowed to have standards including chubby chasers. A man who is attracted to very large women isn't automatically going to be attracted to someone the size of Tess. At some point there are women who are just going to be too big for him. If she looked the same size as her edited photos he may have found her attractive.

I expect someone will repost her narcissistic injury on r/nicegirls. This was the gentlest of let downs and if you accept this kind of polite rejection, you open the door to pleasant interactions and possibly even a friendship in the future. She has zero social graces.

 

[Local Fed]

I'll never understand why women let so many strangers around their children.

I'd take it a step further and say that I don't know why so many even post pictures of their young kids all over social media (something that fatass certainly does). Not even them posting out of pure narcissistic "Look at me being a mom, ya'll" reasons like the graffitied whale does.

It just seems like a bad idea. I don't think that everyone out there is some pedo or whatever, but why expose your kid at all to them online? Seems foolish.

 

[Flawmil]

To me, the thing that proves Ryann doesn’t give a fuck about covid is that she has had Olly travel twice from London to stay with her and her son. Yet she has repeatedly shamed others for not wearing masks, having parties etc...Also I believe a while back, Nick said he was unable to travel to America to see his son because of Covid but Olly has been over twice in the last couple months. It’s been over a year since he’s seen his son I’m pretty sure.

 

[Marigold_Souci]

LOL sorry to do a personal sperg, but as I've said before I'm in the fashion industry.

I started doing some marketing work for a large international plus size company recently and they sent over their tone brief. They had a section to highlight what they did NOT want to portray and in it was a picture of our Tess in workout gear & excessive accessories and the following words underneath "extra formfitting, completely disregarding what flatters the woman's unique shape and style."

I'd post it but it's a big NO-NO to share corporate materials like that. Anyway, I laughed seeing this mess as a big Do Not Want in a professional capacity.

 

[Water-T]

I'd take it a step further and say that I don't know why so many even post pictures of their young kids all over social media (something that fatass certainly does). Not even them posting out of pure narcissistic "Look at me being a mom, ya'll" reasons like the graffitied whale does.

It just seems like a bad idea. I don't think that everyone out there is some pedo or whatever, but why expose your kid at all to them online? Seems foolish.

Even most celebrities put a lot of effort into keep the paparazzi from posting photos of their kids for their safety, because there are many obsessed loonies and wanna-be ransomers that would target celebrity kids.

Bjork even assaulted a reporter who tried to interview her while Bjork was carrying her then 9 year old son from a long distance flight, despite having told the reporters to leave her and her kid alone.

Tess, on the other hand, plasters Bowie's face alllll over her social media, not understanding how this will affect the kid later on. She should know better because Rylee was so embarrassed to be in her social media that he demanded she not photograph him anymore without permission first.