Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

[themasterlurker]

@Null There is a personal cow who wants section 230 down just so he does not show up

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/personal-lolcows.463/post-7782781

 

[Lurkism]

@Null There is a personal cow who wants section 230 down just so he does not show up

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/personal-lolcows.463/post-7782781

Spoiler: TRUMP KILL 230 NOW!!!

View attachment 1775265View attachment 1775266View attachment 1775267

Null has found the quickest way to make cows support Trump

 

[RunRufusRun]

Got a decent one.

Known this LOLcow through various forums for over 10 years now.
1.Obesssed with MLP and other cartoons.
2.Posts using the name from a forgotten shitty cartoon.
3.If you mention not liking any thing this person loves they take it as a personal attack.
4.If they get something wrong and are corrected they block you on whatever forum/twitter/whatever it is.
5.Oh can't forget how they have admitted to being 30 and never even kissed a female.
6.Might be cause they have also admitted to only being attracted to females between the ages of 13 and 15.
7.Begged for 8 years to be made a mod at one tiny dying forum. Finally after most of the posters had quit the forum this person go modded up.

I will just call them james crump.

Hell got time for 1 more.

This 400lb lard ass decided 4 years ago they were a woman trapped in a fat ass male's body. So now anytime someone gets mad at them or doesn't kiss their gigantic ass they use the "They hate me cause I'm trans" excuse. Ignoring that they are hated cause they are a shitty person.

1.Bitches often about their job. When it is something a trained chimp could do.
2.Got fired from their last job for posting confidental company info on a public forum. Claimed they were fired cause "The boss hates me cause i'm trans."
3.Has become a meme with Eastern Euro Alt Right groups. Mostly cause this person for a long time would post pictures of themselves all over.
4.Has frizzy red hair is over 400lbs and smells like 10 day old garbage that was left out in the sun.
5.Got put in charge of a dying forum cause no one else wanted the job.
6.Once in charge of this forum would make up rules just to have a reason to ban people that didn't kiss the giant ass.
7.Will get drunk and post about how they are the reason this dying forum is even more dead.
8.made an self admitted pedo a mod on this forum.
9.Bans anyone that mentions that making a pedo a mod on a forum isn't a good idea.
10.2 years ago wanted to take a break from this forum. So made the only real female on the forum admin. This female then stopped showing up for months at a time.
11.400lb Lard ass earlier this year disappeared from the forum. Also deleted all their social media. Was gone for 3 months before anyone even noticed.
12.Showed back up in the fall. Made a big post explaining why they were gone and no one really gave a shit.
13.Since the fall return they will make a post every few weeks seekign attention. Posts are mostly ignored by the 10 posters left at the dying forum.
14.Hates themself cause they know they are the posterchild for why lots of people hate trans people.
15.Not that long ago made a post bragging about how they ate 10lbs of gummi bears in one sitting.

 

[Sothis]

I feel a little bad because this person had a disability, but I just remembered this but an old internet friend and I used to follow this one girl with down syndrome on Instagram called Jade Bruce and we got REALLY invested into her life (she has so many Instagram accounts but I think her original account is called @jadebruce_12 but wont accept me and only has 20 followers, but she has a public twitter account called @JadeJadebruce)

She didn't really do anything eccentric constantly, but she was just really weird
I don't remember too much, but I remember she would call black people 'niggers' and would use the word a lot, record herself saying it, etc. which people got upset over and she made an apology video
She'd always fight with people
I think she used to post singing videos too
People would constantly hype her up as a joke and call her 'beautiful' and such
She'd always post these absurd selfies where she'd try to look sexy
She speaks in really broken English which was really funny, people would post comments on her account mimicking her broken English
I remember people would make memes of her (and her broken English) and send them to her and she'd post them

She was definitely before her time as this was back in around 2014, I think she would be a bit more popular now if she was relevant.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

This person is a personal lolcow of mine that I knew for 3 years online. She is some dumb bitch that the only thing she is good at is manipulating other people with elaborate and stupid lies. Before I get into this, all my friends and I abandoned her this year for taking it too far for yelling at children angrily over telling her to get good at a video game along with other heinous shit I don't want to get into.

There is so much shit but one notable example is how after she got BTFO in an internet argument and rejected from a roleplaying group, she pretended to have a suicide attempt and go to the hospital to then pretend to be her mom who conveniently knew her online social life just to drum up sympathy for her. Everyone of my friends bought into it except one who was worried for backlash if they said anything. Apparently this year we found out that they were faking it because a friend contacted the hospital they claimed to stay in and the nurse said they weren't there. It didn't help in hindsight this came after losing an argument in the internet and not part of a game along with making other suicidebait to get people to feel bad for them whenever they fuck up.

The last thing of note is that they dated this nice guy who was more retarded than her, but really they would've been a perfect couple

This guy is a personal lolcow of mine because he was in a few Discord servers I was in. I didn't keep him much mind because he kept going on about how his life sucks and stuff. He had a relationship with a friend of mine which quickly ended after a month because they were feeling depressed and he tried to force an intervention on her and kept going on about how she's worrying him by showing pictures of him cutting himself (Not showing that for personal reasons), and he called the cops on her for allegedly committing suicide wanting her arrested. He has been blocked by her and this is the aftermath thanks to a buddy of mine. For context, he had been harassing his ex and saying how she was destined to give birth to his kid because they were calling out to him.

Spoiler

View attachment 664489

View attachment 664490

View attachment 664491

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

I have this dude on Facebook, and he regularly posts weird things about his life. Mostly it's videos of him MCing over makina tracks, tales of roid use, angry complaints about various aspects of modern life and culture, Chris-esque rants about how he wants to get laid, and weird rambling stories about an urban fox and a magpie that he feeds and now keep showing up outside his house.
The really weird part is I met him in real life once and he seemed completely normal. It's like he treats all his public social media as a diary where he writes all his lunacy.

 

[Shitassdeaddude]

I'll bet this faggot rolls coal, if he even still has a truck.

By the way, for those curious, I have an update on this boy:

He went even further off the deep end. It turns out I wasn't the reason he flipped the fence (which, looking back, is kind of exceptional of me to think anyway.) What got him to go start deepthroating communist cock? Literally deepthroating communist cock is what. Namely he got into a polyamorous relationship with a crazy anarcho-communist and some poor sap of a third guy. Didn't stay polyamorous for long though, as the third wheel apparently broke off and ran away soon after. Smart guy if you ask me. Anyway, my former friend and his genderfluid "partner," were raising money to start up a literal communist gun cult so they could hide out in the woods and prepare for when Trump began to take over the world.

Sound too crazy to be true? Well it is. Turns out Poly-the-Partner was a scam artist who ran off with $2000 of my former friend's money. And his gun. And his pride.

Did he learn his lesson?

Say it with me, friends. "FUCK NO."

He was still rambling on about injustices and shit for weeks after, talking about how he's sure the FBI nabbed Poly-Partner and they were coming for him next and how he wants to kill his conservative family. Unfortunately I can't watch his continuing spiral as he hasn't appeared online since throwing a shit-fit when the admin of the server changed his nickname to some Trump pun as a gag.

Got another update for y'all. He came into a discord call while we were all getting caught up on Mando and told us everything that's happened over the past few months was a lie, and an attempt at a publicity stunt on his part. Or something? He claimed he wanted to make a youtube video out of it but by the time he gave up, he was too deep in the lie to back out. He started going on this whole tangent about how he's a horrible person and he doesn't want us to forgive him and so-on and so-forth. You know, the usual "I'm not asking you to pity me but..." shtick.

IMHO he's lying-about-lying to cover his ass and hide from the embarassment of getting fooled by a sheister, now that he can look back and see how fucking stupid he's been over the past half year. Doesn't matter. Either way we kicked him out of our server. After this latest little incident he's just not worth the hassle anymore. So yeah, it all amounted to a wet fart. That's real life for you, I suppose.

 

[House Of Reeves]

I have 2 personal lolcows currently. One is a nearly 30-year-old man who is striving to become a ENVtuber (English Vtuber), at the behest of his 17-year-old girlfriend. The other is the aforementioned girlfriend. It is equal parts cringey, creepy, and hilarious.

 

[Violent Ken Apologist]

I feel a little bad because this person had a disability, but I just remembered this but an old internet friend and I used to follow this one girl with down syndrome on Instagram called Jade Bruce and we got REALLY invested into her life (she has so many Instagram accounts but I think her original account is called @jadebruce_12 but wont accept me and only has 20 followers, but she has a public twitter account called @JadeJadebruce)

She didn't really do anything eccentric constantly, but she was just really weird
I don't remember too much, but I remember she would call black people 'niggers' and would use the word a lot, record herself saying it, etc. which people got upset over and she made an apology video
She'd always fight with people
I think she used to post singing videos too
People would constantly hype her up as a joke and call her 'beautiful' and such
She'd always post these absurd selfies where she'd try to look sexy
She speaks in really broken English which was really funny, people would post comments on her account mimicking her broken English
I remember people would make memes of her (and her broken English) and send them to her and she'd post them

She was definitely before her time as this was back in around 2014, I think she would be a bit more popular now if she was relevant.

This sounds lame and gross but I admire her (I would if it was a guy too for sure.) for carrying on and doing her thing, despite her issues. I respect her willingness to just live and do things. Say what you will but there're retarded people who don't have an excuse and who are sometimes too cowardly to put themselves out there.

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

I think it’s safe to dox the ones I posted.
The atheist guy is Ethan Roszaheygi, Googling him should show his social media
The rich kid who snapped is CJ Ripepi, Googling him should show his social media
Here’s the guy who went to court over “I’m gonna kill you” in GTA Online: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003925689456
Can’t find the yaoi girl’s social media, her name is Ariel Gerrity

 

[Ozma (ZeTrannyJanny)]

ur mum n' dad

 

[Fuck!]

fucking

h e l p

I talked to this person like once on an old homestuck website when I was about 13 or something, they were always incessant on VCing and were routinely creepy, at times pointing out things like my bra showing through my shirt.

Turns out I forgot to delete them as a friend years ago so guess who came into my inbox

LITERALLY COMPARING HAVING AUTISM TO BEING A BLACK GUY AT RISK OF BEING A SLAVE. You cannot make this up.

Slick Daddy Ben quote there

Now that's a shocker

They then proceed to tell me that their mom is a 'psychopath' which I don't buy for a second, and then I get this message- it's my favorite.

I do not know why they said this.

They then proceeded to start literally insulting me and I ended the convo there with a smooth "ok lol"
I don't plan to interact with them more but fuck man these screenshots were too good not to share.

 

[im12_andwhatisthis?]

I didn’t realize I still had this dude from high school on my socials and he went off the fucking deep end some time in 2014. Posts endless pokemon go screenshots, shitty halo memes, and went from being jacked/fit to a 240lb slob. I’m pretty sure he either smoked himself or tripped himself to schizophrenia because he makes hour long videos on how he’s the reincarnation of Jesus, that he died in 2016, and that he’s actually a hermaphrodite. Can’t watch too much because he makes my skin crawl but it’s wild to compare who he was at 17 to who he is as an adult.

 

[yasscat]

I didn’t realize I still had this dude from high school on my socials and he went off the fucking deep end some time in 2014. Posts endless pokemon go screenshots, shitty halo memes, and went from being jacked/fit to a 240lb slob. I’m pretty sure he either smoked himself or tripped himself to schizophrenia because he makes hour long videos on how he’s the reincarnation of Jesus, that he died in 2016, and that he’s actually a hermaphrodite. Can’t watch too much because he makes my skin crawl but it’s wild to compare who he was at 17 to who he is as an adult.

It's always so sad to see that. Especially if they were someone you were relatively friendly with.
I hope they get help.

 

[HEXbox Carousel]

My personal lolcow is a guy who goes by 'Vladizek.' He's an ESL furry who's a constant plague in the LISA series' community.

Funny moments include:
DMing me pokemon porn without warning, then asking repeatedly 'how much pokemon you jack off to'
Filling an official game server's music channel with terrible undertale remixes, despite multiple warnings from server administration. Subsequently permabanned from a server where posting Spyro Subway is a kickable offense.
Spamming DMs of various community members asking for Toriel r34.
Sending furry pornography to minors.

The man is somewhere in the 24-27 age range, which makes it all so much sadder.

 

[holy buttocks]

Anthony Shonamon is a "vlogger" who has been "vlogging" for a whole decade. His accomplishments include wasting a 5k$ grant from Maker studios and doing nothing with it, making absolutely pointless and narcissistic videos, dropping out of college and not being able to drive in rural Canada.

He released a long ass video on how he's brave for being a girly man because he buys things. Some highlights include:
Xxxtentacion is his biggest role model!
He spent 12k on email money transfers for women simply for existing
He bought fake titties
His friends bullied him for painting his nails, something men have been doing with some degree of acceptance since the 90s
Weirdly comparing himself to jazz Jennings
He got bullied because of his pink iPhone :''''(
Literally goes galaxy brain and talks about the universe

Anyways, here's the video. Don't watch it. He's already "won" at a film festival for this garbage and gotten a news interview despite accomplishing nothing of note.

This is all you need to know ultimately

Spoiler: Fake booby

 

[Style]

First friend I had in highschool trooned out and has a BDSM dungeon in his flat.

I also happen to know a gay guy that is a drama attention whore. No matter where he goes or what he does, there is drama around him, and if there isn't, he makes it up.

 

[JustFuckinaDude]

I’ve got one. She’s one of those women who was Ms. Hotshit in high school, but those looks started to fade and “it’s totes not fair that I got a worthless degree that mommy and daddy paid for and no one will hire me! The socialist revolution must come to pass!”

She posts thirst trap pictures in gymshark clothes that (her parents) probably spent too much money on that accentuate her muffin top and lacks any personality, but there’s always drama. Any time I look at something she posts, drama.

I’m not sure if it’s funny or sad.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

I used to watch watch this autistic half black half indian guy play video games. He always played the same games, easily sperged out, and we could trick him into saying offensive things on twitch. I guess there were multiple funny sagas with him, but two stood out the most.

He would not shut up about twitch thots and at some point he went to plexstorm. Plexstorm is like twitch but the streamers are naked and possibly having sex. He would stream simultaneously on both twitch and plexstorm. One time he accidentally showed himself shirtless on twitch. This wasn't allowed at the time and could get the other persons account in trouble since he borrowed the twitch account for streaming. I'm only aware that he did a nude stream on plexstorm for $45. I didn't take any screenshots since I felt it was very revolting.

Another saga involved another viewer who would mess with him, make a 3d module of him. I can't remember the program, but he made animation videos of the person while imitating them and making fun of them. The first video made was taking the audio of the streamer complaining about twitch thots, inserting it into the streamers stream set up, and having the 3d animation play in the webcam while the game part was huniepop(a hentai game on steam). The second video involved making an updated more accurate 3d model sing a song with the lyrics "suicide is painless" and have ponies running in the background. The third video was a 3d partially bald model singing a rap about being a good boy for his mom with the background being his old room at the streamer's mom's place. This other viewer made other videos and had them posted to a youtube channel under his real name. At some point he started contacting the streamers family and showing them the video which disturbed the family members and sent the streamer into a frenzy. The other viewer ended up closing the youtube channel. The only evidence I have of the videos is a picture of one of the models the viewer sent me and a thumbnail with a title of the first video.

I stopped watching the stream a long time ago. He was getting increasingly hostile and randomly scaring off viewers. One stream he ended up screaming at anyone in fornite who was female or an underage male. Eventually, the owner of the channel confronted him and asked him to leave. That was the end of that.

 

[WalMart]

Friend's dad told him,
"By raising your voice you have activated a trauma response in me and I am now ending this conversation." and then slammed the door apparently.

Imagine if by slamming the door he activated a trauma response in his son and suddenly everyone in the house is just going off like a fire alarm